If Only etc. Part 40

HENRICH SCHERCL.

Do you want to sell your "Battle of Agincourt?"

CHARLES SYLVESTER.

Of course I do.

HENRICH SCHERCL.

How much?

CHARLES SYLVESTER.

Two hundred--you know that!

HENRICH SCHERCL.

A hundred ready?

CHARLES SYLVESTER.

Yes.

HENRICH SCHERCL.

You will have a jeque to-night.

CHARLES SYLVESTER.

On your word?

HENRICH SCHERCL.

On my word.

CHARLES SYLVESTER.

An open one?

HENRICH SCHERCL.

Yes, my dear young friend. Now oblige me by skipping.

CHARLES SYLVESTER.

Right you are. Allow me to introduce to your Highness, Mr. Schercl--Mr.

Schercl, the Maharajah of Slamthedoor.

(_Exit R_.)

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

Allah Bismillah Pottamarmala Goo!

HENRICH SCHERCL (_aside_).

He's swearing again. (_Aloud_.) I am sorry your Royal Highness has been kept waiting. These artists are such gurious people. Your Highness broboses to buy bictures, yes?

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

I have built a new palace at Slamthedoor, and I must have, of course, some pictures for my galleries.

ROSALINE.

Does your Highness want any slaves too?

HENRICH SCHERCL.

(_Aside to_ ROSALINE.) Go away, girl--go away! One deal at a time!

(_Aloud_) May I make so bold as to enquire the size of the new palace, Oh glorious One? (_Salaams_.) (_Aside_.) I think that is right!

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

The size? It is no bigger than my other one--it is about four times as large as your Buckingham Palace.

HENRICH SCHERCL.

Great heavens! And you will have a vast picture gallery, Oh Light of my Eyes!

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

Five--five picture galleries, and I desire to fill them. That is why I am looking up these artists. My cousin the Maharajah of Battledore has given me several introductions.

ROSALINE.

_Doesn't_ your Royal Highness want any slaves? Ye before whose radiance the sun pales and the stars grow dim--no slaves?

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

Can you dance, damsel, as I would see you?

HENRICH SCHERCL.

(_Aside to_ ROSALINE.) Go away--go away--go away. Oh, demmit, will you go away! (_Salaaming_.) Most Serene One--

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

Proceed. But be quick--I am impatient to be gone. Allah Bismillah, be quick!