If Only etc. Part 41

HENRICH SCHERCL (_aside_).

What a temper he's got! (_Aloud_.) Be guided by your servant. I have your Royal Highness's interest at heart. (_Aside_.) Also my own.

(_Aloud_.) These bainters are so queer--they do not understand business at all, at all. Nach, they know nothing about it--at least very few of them. The less you have to do with them directly the better for your Royal Highness. If your Royal Highness wishes to fill the picture galleries of your new palace I'll take on the job at contract. I'll save you sixty per cent, s'welp me!

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

That is very kind of you. Why should you do it?

HENRICH SCHERCL.

Well, your Royal Highness, I was struck by your demeanour and to tell your Royal Highness the truth, except with the Brince of Westphalia I have never done any business with royal families before.

ROSALINE (_aside_.)

Modest violet! There's nothing like being frank!

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

You do not advise me then to see this Mr. Tempenny, or the other painters whose names I have?

HENRICH SCHERCL.

Certainly not, your Royal Highness. Let _me_ arrange everything. Here's my card--Heinrich Schercl, 41 Golden Square.

ROSALINE.

(_Aside to_ HENRICH SCHERCL). Look here, what am I to have for this.

HENRICH SCHERCL.

(_Aside to_ ROSALINE). For what?

ROSALINE.

(_Aside to_ HENRICH SCHERCL). I can queer your pitch.

HENRICH SCHERCL.

(_Aside to_ ROSALINE). We will talk later--we will talk later. Don't bother me!

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

My dear Mr. Schercl, I am delighted to have met you. You are quite confident you can _fill_ my galleries?

HENRICH SCHERCL.

With genuine works of art. (_Aside_.) Poor Gamboge died last week; I am sure he hasn't sold more than three pictures during the last ten years--I can get the lot cheap. Only there must be 200 at least. What with all the other stony devils I can lay hands on, I'll soon decorate the old josser's walls.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

Well then, I shall wait no longer--there is no need now. I shall call upon you, and settle our business together. Good-bye, miss, for the present. This is your daughter, I suppose?

HENRICH SCHERCL.

Eh--oh, yes, my youngest--my ewe lamb.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

I congratulate you. She is worthy to be a Princess.

ROSALINE (_aside_).

This man's a flyer! I thought he was a mild young mug, but he fairly takes the merry little bun!

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

Good day, sir. My time in London is short. If I cannot call upon you, I will ask you to come to me at Claridge's.

HENRICH SCHERCL.

Charmed, your Royal Highness. I shall be entirely at your disposition.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

That is well.

(_Exit R_. SCHERCL _and_ ROSALINE _salaam_).

HENRICH SCHERCL.

(_Skipping with ecstasy_). Jampagne! Little girl, I will stand you jampagne to zelebrate the deal.

ROSALINE.

Good biz! (_Opens L.D. and calls_). Here Mary, Matilda, Susan, or whatever your name is, you're wanted.

HENRICH SCHERCL.

And you are a very charming girl, that is a fact. (_Lighting a cigarette_). I think I must give you a sovereign, yes?

ROSALINE.

I don't mind if I do. (_Taking cigarette from his case_). A "sovereign?" What are you talking about? My commission on this is a tenner--and I'm cheap at that!

(_Enter_ SARAH ANN _L_.)

HENRICH SCHERCL.

(_Giving her money_). Fetch me a bottle of jampagne, and bring two gla.s.ses, eh?