The Young Maiden Part 4

Wouldst thou enjoy peace in the interminable future, "lay these things to thy heart." Then shall thy inward beauties s.h.i.+ne with a fadeless refulgence. All true power shall be given thee. Thou shalt be "a lady,"

not indeed of an earthly kingdom, but of that high realm, boundless as thy desires, and enduring as G.o.d.

Chapter IV.

HOME.

Domestic virtues the glory of a country. Views taken of Home. The Spiritual one. Scripture females distinguished at home. The Filial relation. Burns' touching description. Daughters of Milton. The Father. The Mother. Mrs. Sigourney on the "living lost." The good Sister Wordsworth. The Teacher. Other Inmates. Domestics. Home friendly to the Virtues. Health. Industry. Order. Frugality. n.o.ble sentiment of Lady Jane Grey. Grat.i.tude. Disinterestedness.

Elizabeth of England. Charities. Quietness. Spirituality. Piety at home the zest of Joys. It gilds the darkest cloud.

Wherein consists the true glory of a people? Their prosperity does not lie simply in outward abundance. It depends far more on the solid virtues and the Christian graces of the young in their midst. And these qualities appertain not only to our sons, in whom it is often imagined the whole strength at least of nations is concentrated. Our daughters likewise are concerned in the advancement of this high object. One of the sacred writers implores for his countrymen this blessing; "that our daughters may be as corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace." They must be "corner stones," lying at the very foundation of the social edifice, and therefore an essential part of its support. And to their power must be added moral beauty. They are to be "polished after the similitude of" that most splendid of structures, "a palace."

Observe also the relation through which the s.e.x may afford this aid to their race. It is not pet.i.tioned by the writer referred to, that our women may become all eloquent orators; or be fitted to bear the sword, or sway the sceptre; nor yet that they may rival man in physical achievements; nor even is the prayer that they may be renowned for genius and intellect alone, or supremely. But to a far less conspicuous and imposing sphere are our thoughts directed by the Psalmist. It is to home, to "our daughters," and through them to the domestic relations in general, that we are pointed for the elements of public prosperity.

"Happy is that people," among whom these are a.s.siduously cherished.

Happy are they, because a people "whose G.o.d is the Lord."

What views are usually taken by the youthful female of her parental home? It has various aspects. To one it appears pre-eminently as the place in which she is to find the necessaries, comforts, and, perhaps, luxuries, of life. The heads of the family are appointed to toil for her. At her feet must brothers and sisters lay the daily tribute of service. She exacts from each inmate all the attention that can be rendered to one born to command. She is, in one word, a household divinity.

Another regards her home as a scene for display. The furniture, the style, the outline, and the filling up, must be all for the eye of the visitor. If she consent to give her own hand to the work, the main motive is for fireside decorations.

A third is alive to the natural ties which bind her to one and another; but it is chiefly as a matter of sentiment, that she contemplates even the nearest and most sacred relations. Has she been absent for a season, how fervent are her salutations, on returning to her native spot. Does sickness a.s.sail a parent or a brother, and life seem exposed, what tears, what wringing of the hands, what uncontrolled wailings are heard.

But the test of true love is not here. It is the personal sacrifices we make for another, the toil, self-denial, watchfulness and patient service we bestow on him, that reveal the sincerity and depth of our affection.

Still another cla.s.s are those young women who esteem the great purpose of their home to be the furnis.h.i.+ng all possible facilities for their literary instruction. If they attend school constantly and improve their time there, then they have a claim on all their connections to wait their bidding, and execute their mandates, in every interval of study.

The whole being is thus absorbed in the intellect.

There remains one more view of the fireside, and that is the moral, spiritual, religious one. This I believe to be the grand figure on the canva.s.s of domestic life. Every other should be subservient to this. It should stand forth with a commanding interest, and address us in a tone of authority. Our home may be welcome for the conveniences and comforts it affords. We may take a just pride in its external aspect. Our hearts are allowed to fix some of their affections on its objects. It is right that the young should seek earnestly the means of intellectual culture at the hands of parental care. But these are all "lesser lights." They can only borrow and reflect. There must be in the highest heaven a "greater light," even the Sun of Righteousness, or life sinks beneath a darkness that may be felt.

The Scriptures a.s.sign this rank to the moral bearings of home. The patriarchs exhibited their fairest virtues in the private relations of life. Judaism was penetrated with a domestic spirit. The age of the wise man could furnish qualities, of which, in the book of Proverbs, we have an ill.u.s.trious picture, in the character of a perfect matron and wife.

Sarah, Rebecca, Ruth, Hannah, where was the scene of their glory? In home. Equally does the New Testament exalt the spiritual influence of the domestic relation. Who was the immortal Mary? The mother of Jesus.

What gave Martha and the other Mary their renown in the gospel? They were sisters of Lazarus, and partly from their fidelity as such, were loved by their Master. She who cast the two mites into the treasury, among the rich the richest, was the more commended because a poor widow.

Lydia, not only gave herself, by the baptismal seal, unto G.o.d, but honored the cause in her household. Thus does home blend its waters with the river of life. Fidelity to its trusts is an inseparable ingredient in the cup of salvation.

Therefore would I conjure the youthful female to value her domestic bonds as a means of moral culture, and never, under sunny skies, or beneath clouds that lower, to lose sight of this use of them. She should carry into the detail of her daily walk religious principle. Not the slightest act should she perform, which is at war with her spiritual culture. Love, duty, trust, these may enter into the very soul of her being. Let her place them before her, and pursue them steadily, and she shall become the "corner-stone" of her family, "polished" with a divine l.u.s.tre.

But, to render a greater aid to her who desires and wills domestic excellence, let us now speak of the particular relations of home, and their natural, consequent claims on the young of her s.e.x.

The filial relation is replete with moral incentives. To both parents a daughter is indebted beyond even the powers of requital usually granted her s.e.x. From the hour of her birth up to the present moment she has been to them an object of unceasing thought, care, and solicitude. The little being, over whom, as she graced the cradle, they hung with the deepest joy, spoke to their hearts the more eloquently, by her very inability to tell of her wants, by her utter helplessness. No labor was spared, no sacrifice withheld, did they promise to advance her happiness. A few weeks pa.s.s, and she is radiant with smiles, the emanations of light and love; but they are smiles effaced often by tears, and for these, the parent cannot rest till they dry on the cheek.

And soon her age exhibits character, dispositions, propensities. How anxiously is their earliest developement observed. What plans are devised, what efforts employed, what prayers nightly ascend, that she may prove an heir of grace and G.o.dliness.

"The parent-pair their secret homage pay, And proffer up to Heaven the warm request That He who stills the raven's clam'rous nest, And decks the lily fair in flow'ry pride, Would, in the way his wisdom sees the best, For them, and for their little ones provide; But chiefly, in their hearts with _grace divine_ preside."

That father, with what meditations, and watchfulness, and alternate hopes and fears has his soul been visited, as he looked on this daughter. How has his daily toil been cheered by the antic.i.p.ation that its fruits would afford means to meet her wants, to educate her well, and to furnish resources for supplying the outward and inward necessities of her responsible age.

Can she love, respect, and honor this benefactor? Can she avoid it rather, who does not ask? I know how much has been written, in romances, of the devotedness of daughters; and yet the warmest coloring of this sentiment seems never beyond parental desert. There are scenes in which this truth is strikingly ill.u.s.trated. It was a severe task for the daughters of Milton to read to their blind parent, languages sealed to their own understanding; but was it not the discharge of a simple duty?

We are struck with the Roman instance of filial piety, in which the life-blood was shed by tender woman to save a father. Yet when should one meet a voluntary death, if not for the redemption of a parent?

Let the daughter confide then in her father, and seek so to demean herself that his eye might dwell fondly on the very secrets of her heart. Let her refer to his opinions, consult his wishes, and conform to his tastes and habits. His reception as he returns at evening to his fireside, should not consist in ceaseless importunities, nor of aught which terminates in unreasonable regards for self. How much better were a studious concern for his wants, and the bestowal of some act of delicate attention.

His pecuniary circ.u.mstances should be thoughtfully considered. Perhaps he is dest.i.tute. Then do not press him with calls he is pained, but yet compelled, to deny you. It may be that his fortune has recently been marred. Consider this, and be willing to relinquish personal gratifications and adapt your feelings and desires to his present situation. Or he is thrown, perhaps, on the bed of sickness. Manifest now the reality of that affection you professed for him in his health.

Delight to bathe his fevered brow, and to perform those unnumbered services, for which Providence has qualified your s.e.x.

In his old age be still more devoted. Point out to his failing vision the path he would tread. Let him feel that you are striving to solace his declining years, and to requite that love which was shed upon you, the earliest moment of your consciousness. Can you do less for him, now that desire fails and the gra.s.shopper has become a burden and he must soon go to his long home? Of you may it be said,

"Amid the giddy round of prosperous years, The birth of new affections, and the joys That cl.u.s.ter round earth's favorites, there walked Still at her side, the image of her Sire."

But, if all this be due to a father, how shall we describe the claims of a mother? To this parent the daughter owes her very being. These are the arms which never tired of supporting her in infancy. For her the step was light, the voice hushed, the breath almost suppressed. To minister to her wants the social visit was forborne, and home made the one thought, until the cheek grew pale, and the eye dim for sleeplessness.

The sickness of her daughter poured new waters into a cup, that seemed already filled with cares. To clothe and adorn her, every personal comfort was cheerfully foregone. That she might enjoy the best mental and moral culture, this mother discharged daily those services, which the domestic walk daily demands.

In sorrow there is no bosom that consoles like a mother's. Into her ear the child pours its every trial. When the world censures, she will soothe. Let injury, degradation, distress come upon us, let us dread the eye of others, or, through guilt, shrink timidly from them, we flee to her for refuge. This affection is bestowed on the daughter with a fulness and a permanence, which she cannot comprehend, and remain still insensible.

In view of her relation, the true daughter will always sympathize with, and aid, this her greatest earthly benefactor. It will be her study, not to throw every burden on her spirit, because she is willing to bear them. No, her point of view will be the opposite of this. "How much,"

she will ask, "can I do for my mother? Is there nothing in which I can relieve her from her toils? The utmost I can render her is but a meagre compensation for her countless sacrifices for my sake."

The daughter may not only think of those domestic duties which require manual efforts, but in the general education of her brothers or sisters, she may prove a powerful ally with their natural teacher. Having composed the infant to rest, let its childhood continue to be her care.

She can aid it to lisp the first accents of its native tongue. In the rudiments of knowledge she may be an efficient instructor. For this work her age peculiarly qualifies her. As the breath of spring quickens the tender bud, so let her youthful spirit infuse vigor into these minds yet younger than her own.

For the sake of a mother's heart and hopes she should strive for a spotless character. What joy and pride will her obedience to Jesus impart. Let her know, that the virtue of her daughter is dear to a parent as life itself. What a weight is thrown on that bosom, if she fail of goodness. Death is grievous:

"But ye, who for the _living_ lost That agony in secret bear, Who shall with soothing words address The strength of your despair?"

Weigh well the influence you exert on this parent. G.o.d has ordained that the child should re-act on the parent in his riper years, that the daughter should become in her turn the counsellor and the confidant of her mother. Let her wield this power with wisdom and in purity of conscience. Never take advantage of your influence, to secure a sanction of the wrong. But lead your mother, and aspire yourself, toward perfect integrity, and the sinlessness of heaven. Let the portraiture of a holy life be drawn on the canva.s.s before you; then will you enjoy the sweet antic.i.p.ation, as your tears bedew her grave,

"My mother--where thou art gone Adieus and farewells are a sound unknown.

May I but meet thee on that peaceful sh.o.r.e, The parting word shall pa.s.s my lips no more."

If the claims of a parent be such as I have described, then no defect of character, still less any outward deficiency, can justify the daughter in a disregard of father or mother. Wealth does not increase the filial obligations, neither does poverty diminish them. Honors, dress, fas.h.i.+on did not lay the foundation of your duty to love and respect your parents. Let them then live in obscurity, or be constrained to wear plain apparel, or have unfas.h.i.+onable furniture, or lack graceful manners, none the less are you solemnly bound to honor and comfort them.

There is one circ.u.mstance, especially, which leads some young ladies cruelly to neglect their parents, and yet with no reason whatever. The daughter has received a better education than they; she has spent a few months, perhaps, at a boarding school, and learnt music and French. But what are these, and all her accomplishments worth, if they have but taught her to despise or neglect her truest benefactors? Can she cast off, in their old age, those who toiled and bore unnumbered burdens, to procure for her these literary privileges? If she do this, then, woe to her; and woe to the unfortunate being, to whom she may be joined as a partner. For no sin does the curse of Heaven more surely descend on one, let it be delayed as it may, than for unkindness to parents.

Nor does their guilt dissolve the bonds of filial duty. Every offender deserves more our pity than our cruelty or wrath. Who then should be commiserated and watched over, whose evil should we seek to overcome with good, and whose heart to melt by love, if not an offending parent's?

Another relation, happily suited to promote female virtue, is that of Brother and Sister. Here are those united, not only by nature, but by all those sacred and dear ties which belong to the a.s.sociations of childhood. Theirs is not the conjunction for an evening of planets, whose orbits lie all apart; but it is a union that dates from the earliest moments of life. And it is one as pure as it is primitive, giving scope for unalterable attachment, and deep joys, for kind offices and sincere virtue.

But let it not be imagined that all these fruits spring from the soil spontaneously. Not of necessity is a sister happy in this relation; and the reason is apparent. She is not coerced into sympathy, and self-sacrifice, and devotedness to her brothers, and without these qualities no outward connection brings peace and pleasure to the heart.

It must be her study to devise means, frame plans,--and to execute them faithfully,--of promoting their good. Far will it be from accomplis.h.i.+ng this most desirable end, to make protestations of her love, when prompted by impulse. Her actions must be the still, small voice that conveys the rich tones of her heart. If she refuse to enter into the schemes and prospects of a brother, and to render him those minute services, which both indicate affection and prompt to it, she will regard this relation as a dull thing. It may be but a source of alienated feelings, of vexation and strife.

Especially must the sister guard well the avenues to moral danger, which beset her brothers. Let her strive to make home attractive in their sight. Is she competent in music, she has here a means of ever-new interest, and of affording that variety of recreation for which the young man thirsts. By pleasant conversation, and by reading occasionally a volume to a brother, she may bind him to the fireside. Does he desire to pa.s.s the evening abroad? Better join him, even at some cost of personal ease, or of taste, than leave him exposed to seek places of equivocal character. Be his confidant, his adviser, constant in demonstrations of kindness. Perhaps he is aiding your progress in the walks of intellect. How can you so well requite his care, as by a steady emanation of moral and spiritual light? A sister's love is often an amulet to the subsequent character of a circle of brothers. She whispers to them, when on the brink of temptation. Her form is ever present.

Their thoughts wander often to their childhood's home, and in secret self-communion the sentiment re-visits the heart,

"For I, methinks, till I grow old As fair before me shall behold, As I do now, the cottage small, The lake, the wood, the waterfall; And thee, the Spirit of them all."

The services of a sister are peculiarly to be appreciated by the other sisters. If they comprehend most fully the joys of one another, so do they those sorrows, with which no "stranger intermeddleth." They, who have shared one mind and one heart, from their early days, can comprehend those sufferings which not even the parent, from her elder age, entirely partic.i.p.ates. In sickness they may be true angels of mercy to each other. And in those trials, to which their condition through life subjects them, no sympathy is dearer than a sister's.

How unnatural is a deficiency in these holy dispositions. Can it be that the one is ever an object of envy, or jealousy, or ever regarded with distrust, coldness, or still more with hostility, by the other? Let them beware of the first approach of a contentious spirit. Their manners,--as indeed those of all in a family circle,--should never be rude, or careless, but ordered with watchfulness, delicacy, and propriety. The manner between sisters may be such as of itself to enshrine and secure their mutual kindness. It may too, by negligence, become a provoker of dissension and enmity. The fairest of maidens, is not she whose cheek mantles in beauty; but she whose gentle, Christian, courteous, carriage with brother and sister, radiates a perpetual moral beauty.