A Treatise on Domestic Economy Part 14

Instead, then, of depending on medicine, for the preservation of the health and life of an infant, the following precautions and preventives should be adopted.

Take particular care of the _food_ of an infant. If it is nourished by the mother, her own diet should be simple, nouris.h.i.+ng, and temperate. If the child be brought up by hand, the milk of a new-milch cow, mixed with one third water, and sweetened a little with _white_ sugar, should be the only food given, until the teeth come. This is more suitable, than any preparations of flour or arrow-root, the nourishment of which is too highly concentrated. Never give a child _bread_, _cake_, or _meat_, before the teeth appear. If the food appear to distress the child, after eating, first ascertain if the milk be really from a new-milch cow, as it may otherwise be too old. Learn, also, whether the cow lives on proper food. Cows that are fed on _still-slops_, as is often the case in cities, furnish milk which is very unhealthful.

Be sure and keep a good supply of pure and fresh air, in the nursery. On this point, Dr. Bell remarks, respecting rooms constructed without fireplaces, and without doors or windows to let in pure air, from without, "The sufferings of children of feeble const.i.tutions, are increased, beyond measure, by such lodgings as these. _An action, brought by the Commonwealth_, ought to lie against those persons, who build houses for sale or rent, in which rooms are so constructed as not to allow of free ventilation; and _a writ of lunacy_ taken out against those, who, with the common-sense experience which all have on this head, should spend any portion of their time, still more, should sleep, in rooms thus nearly air-tight."

After it is a month or two old, take an infant out to walk, or ride, in a little wagon, every fair and warm day; but be very careful that its feet, and every part of its body, are kept warm: and be sure that its eyes are well protected from the light. Weak eyes, and sometimes blindness, are caused by neglecting this precaution. Keep the head of an infant cool, never allowing too warm bonnets, nor permitting it to sink into soft pillows, when asleep. Keeping an infant's head too warm, very much increases nervous irritability; and this is the reason why medical men forbid the use of caps for infants. But the head of an infant should, especially while sleeping, be protected from draughts of air, and from getting cold.

Be very careful of the skin of an infant, as nothing tends so effectually to prevent disease. For this end, it should be washed all over, every morning, and then gentle friction should be applied, with the hand, to the back, stomach, bowels, and limbs. The head should be thoroughly washed, every day, and then brushed with a soft hair-brush, or combed with a fine comb. If, by neglect, dirt acc.u.mulates under the hair, apply, with the finger, the yolk of an egg, and then the fine comb will remove it all, without any trouble.

Dress the infant, so that it will be always warm, but not so as to cause perspiration. Be sure and keep its feet _always_ warm; and, for this end, often warm them at a fire, and use long dresses. Keep the neck and arms covered. For this purpose, wrappers, open in front, made high in the neck, with long sleeves, to put on over the frock, are now very fas.h.i.+onable.

It is better for both mother and child, that it should not sleep on the mother's arm, at night, unless the weather be extremely cold. This practice keeps the child too warm, and leads it to seek food too frequently. A child should ordinarily take nourishment but twice in the night. A crib beside the mother, with a plenty of warm and light covering, is best for the child; but the mother must be sure that it is always kept warm. Never cover a child's head, so that it will inhale the air of its own lungs. In very warm weather, especially in cities, great pains should be taken, to find fresh and cool air, by rides and sailing.

Walks in a public square, in the cool of the morning, and frequent excursions in ferry or steam-boats, would often save a long bill for medical attendance. In hot nights, the windows should be kept open, and the infant laid on a mattress, or on folded blankets. A bit of straw matting, laid over a featherbed, and covered with the under sheet, makes a very cool bed for an infant.

Cool bathing, in hot weather, is very useful; but the water should be very little cooler than the skin of the child. When the const.i.tution is delicate, the water should be slightly warmed. Simply sponging the body, freely, in a tub, answers the same purpose as a regular bath. In very warm weather, this should be done two or three times a day, always waiting two or three hours after food has been given.

"When the stomach is peculiarly irritable, (from teething,) it is of paramount necessity to withhold all the nostrums which have been so falsely lauded as 'sovereign cures for _cholera infantum_.' The true restoratives, to a child threatened with disease, are, cool air, cool bathing, and cool drinks of simple water, in addition to _proper_ food, at stated intervals." Do not take the advice of mothers, who tell of this, that, and the other thing, which have proved excellent remedies in their experience. Children have different const.i.tutions, and there are mult.i.tudes of different causes for their sickness; and what might cure one child, might kill another, which _appeared_ to have the same complaint. A mother should go on the general rule, of giving an infant very little medicine, and then only by the direction of a discreet and experienced physician. And there are cases, when, according to the views of the most distinguished and competent pract.i.tioners, physicians themselves are much too free in using medicines, instead of adopting _preventive_ measures.

Do not allow a child to form such habits, that it will not be quiet, unless tended and amused. A healthy child should be accustomed to lie or sit in its cradle, much of the time; but it should occasionally be taken up, and tossed, or carried about, for exercise and amus.e.m.e.nt. An infant should be encouraged to _creep_, as an exercise very strengthening and useful. If the mother fears the soiling of its nice dresses, she can keep a long slip or ap.r.o.n, which will entirely cover the dress, and can be removed, when the child is taken in the arms. A child should not be allowed, when quite young, to bear its weight on its feet, very long at a time, as this tends to weaken and distort the limbs.

Many mothers, with a little painstaking, succeed in putting their infants, while awake, into their cradle, at regular hours, for sleep, and induce regularity in other habits, which saves much trouble. In doing this, a child may cry, at first, a great deal; but for a healthy child, this use of the lungs does no harm, and tends rather to strengthen, than to injure, them. A child who is trained to lie or sit, and amuse itself, is happier than one who is carried and tended a great deal, and thus rendered restless and uneasy when not so indulged.

CHAPTER XX.

ON THE MANAGEMENT OF YOUNG CHILDREN.

In regard to the physical education of children, Dr. Clarke, Physician in Ordinary to the Queen of England, expresses views, on one point, in which most physicians would coincide. He says, "There is no greater error in the management of children, than that of giving them animal diet very early. By persevering in the use of an overstimulating diet, the digestive organs become irritated, and the various secretions, immediately connected with, and necessary to, digestion, are diminished, especially the _biliary secretion_. Children, so fed, become very liable to attacks of fever, and of inflammation, affecting, particularly, the mucous membranes; and measles, and the other diseases incident to childhood, are generally severe in their attack."

There are some popular notions on the subject of the use of animal food, which need to be corrected.

One mistake, is, in supposing that the formation of the human teeth and stomach indicate that man was designed to feed on flesh. Linnaeus says, that the organization of man, when compared with other animals, shows, that "fruits and esculent vegetables const.i.tute his most suitable food."

Baron Cuvier, the highest authority on comparative anatomy, says, "the natural food of man, _judging from his structure_, appears to consist of fruits, roots, and other succulent parts of vegetables."

Another common mistake, is, that the stimulus of animal food is necessary for the full developement of the physical and intellectual powers. This notion is disproved by facts. The inhabitants of Lapland and Kamtschatka, who live altogether on animal food, are among the smallest, weakest, and most timid, of races. But the Scotch Highlanders, who, in a very cold climate, live almost exclusively on milk and vegetable diet, are among the bravest, largest, and most athletic, of men. The South-Sea Islanders, who live almost exclusively on fruits and vegetables, are said to be altogether superior to English sailors, in strength and agility. An intelligent gentleman, who spent many months in Siberia, testifies, that no exiles endure the climate better than those, who have all their lives been accustomed to a vegetable diet. The stoutest and largest tribes in Africa, live solely on vegetable diet, and the bright, intelligent, and active Arabs, live entirely on milk and vegetables.

The popular notion is, that animal food is more nouris.h.i.+ng than vegetable; but on this point, scientific men hold different opinions.

Experiments, repeatedly made by some chemists, seem to prove the contrary. Tables have been prepared, showing the amount of nutriment in each kind of food, by which it would appear, that, while beef contains thirty-five per cent. of nutritious matter, wheat-bread and rice contain from eighty to ninety-five per cent. The supposed mistake is attributed to the fact, that, on account of the stimulating nature of animal food, it digests easier and more quickly than vegetables. Many physicians, however, among them, Dr. Combe,[O] are of opinion, that animal food "contains a greater quant.i.ty of nutriment in a given bulk, than either herbaceous or farinaceous food." In some diseases, too, meat is better for the stomach than vegetables.

The largest proportion of those, who have been remarkable for having lived to the greatest age, were persons, whose diet was almost exclusively vegetables; and it is a well-known fact, that the pulse of a hardy and robust man, who lives on simple vegetable diet, is from ten to twenty beats less in a minute, than that of men who live on a mixed diet.

In regard to the intellect, Dr. Franklin a.s.serted, from experience, that an exclusively vegetable diet "promotes clearness of ideas and quickness of perception; and is to be preferred, by all who labor with the mind."

The mightiest efforts of Sir Isaac Newton, were performed, while nourished only by bread and water. Many other men, distinguished by intellectual vigor, give similar testimony. These facts show that animal food is not needful, to secure the perfect developement of mind or body.[P]

The result of the treatment of the inmates of the Orphan Asylum, at Albany, is one, upon which all, who have the care of young children, should deeply ponder. During the first six years of the existence of this Inst.i.tution, its average number of children was eighty. For the first three years, their diet was meat once a day, fine bread, rice, Indian puddings, vegetables, fruit, and milk. Considerable attention was given to clothing, fresh air, and exercise; and they were bathed once in three weeks. During these three years, from four to six children, and sometimes more, were continually on the sick-list; one or two a.s.sistant nurses were necessary; a physician was called, two or three times a week; and, in this time, there were between thirty and forty deaths. At the end of this period, the management was changed, in these respects:--daily ablutions of the whole body were practised; bread of unbolted flour was subst.i.tuted for that of fine wheat; and all animal food was banished. More attention also was paid to clothing, bedding, fresh air, and exercise. The result was, that the nursery was vacated; the nurse and physician were no longer needed; and, for two years, not a single case of sickness or death occurred. The third year, also, there were no deaths, except those of two idiots and one other child, all of whom were new inmates, who had not been subjected to this treatment. The teachers of the children also testified, that there was a manifest increase of intellectual vigor and activity, while there was much less irritability of temper.

Let parents, nurses, and teachers, reflect on the above statement, and bear in mind, that stupidity of intellect, and irritability of temper, as well as ill health, are often caused by the mismanagement of the nursery, in regard to the physical training of children. There is probably no practice, more deleterious, than that of allowing children to eat at short intervals, through the day. As the stomach is thus kept constantly at work, with no time for repose, its functions are deranged, and a weak or disordered stomach is the frequent result. Children should be required to keep cakes, nuts, and other good things which they may have to eat, till just before a meal, and then they will form a part of their regular supply. This is better, than to wait till after their hunger is satisfied by food, when they will eat their niceties merely to gratify the palate, and thus overload the stomach.

In regard to the intellectual training of young children, some modification in the common practice is necessary, with reference to their physical wellbeing. More care is needful, in providing _well-ventilated_ schoolrooms, and in securing more time for sports in the open air, during school hours. It is very important, to most mothers, that their young children should be removed from their care, during the six school hours; and it is very useful, to quite young children, to be subjected to the discipline of a school, and to intercourse with other children of their own age. And, with a suitable teacher, it is no matter how early children are sent to school, provided their health is not endangered, by impure air, too much confinement, and too great mental stimulus.

In regard to the formation of the moral character, it has been too much the case, that the discipline of the nursery has consisted of disconnected efforts to make children either do, or refrain from doing, certain particular acts. Do this, and be rewarded; do that, and be punished; is the ordinary routine of family government.

But children can be very early taught, that their happiness, both now and hereafter, depends on the formation of _habits of submission, self-denial_, and _benevolence_. And all the discipline of the nursery can be conducted by the parents, not only with this general aim in their own minds, but also with the same object daily set before the minds of the children. Whenever their wishes are crossed, or their wills subdued, they can be taught, that all this is done, not merely to please the parent, or to secure some good to themselves or to others; but as a part of that merciful training, which is designed to form such a character, and such habits, that they can hereafter find their chief happiness in giving up their will to G.o.d, and in living to do good to others, instead of living merely to please themselves.

It can be pointed out to them, that they must always submit their will to the will of G.o.d, or else be continually miserable. It can be shown, how in the nursery, and in the school, and through all future days, a child must practise the giving up of his will and wishes, when they interfere with the rights and comfort of others; and how important it is, early to learn to do this, so that it will, by habit, become easy and agreeable. It can be shown, how children, who are indulged in all their wishes, and who are never accustomed to any self-denial, always find it hard to refrain from what injures themselves and others. It can be shown, also, how important it is, for every person, to form such habits of benevolence, towards others, that self-denial, in doing good, will become easy.

Parents have learned, by experience, that children can be constrained, by authority and penalties, to exercise self-denial, for _their own_ good, till a habit is formed, which makes the duty comparatively easy.

For example, well-trained children can be accustomed to deny themselves tempting articles of food, which are injurious, until the practice ceases to be painful and difficult. Whereas, an indulged child would be thrown into fits of anger or discontent, when its wishes were crossed, by restraints of this kind.

But it has not been so readily discerned, that the same method is needful, in order to form a habit of self-denial, in doing good to others. It has been supposed, that, while children must be forced, by _authority_, to be self-denying and prudent, in regard to their own happiness, it may properly be left to their own discretion, whether they will practise any self-denial in doing good to others. But the more difficult a duty is, the greater is the need of parental authority, in forming a habit, which will make that duty easy.

In order to secure this, some parents turn their earliest efforts to this object. They require the young child always to offer to others a part of every thing which it receives; always to comply with all reasonable requests of others for service; and often to practise little acts of self-denial, in order to secure some enjoyment for others. If one child receives a present of some nicety, he is required to share it with all his brothers and sisters. If one asks his brother to help him in some sport, and is met with a denial, the parent requires the unwilling child to act benevolently, and give up some of his time to increase his brother's enjoyment. Of course, in such an effort as this, discretion must be used, as to the frequency and extent of the exercise of authority, to induce a habit of benevolence. But, where parents deliberately aim at such an object, and wisely conduct their instructions and discipline to secure it, very much will be accomplished.

Religious influence should be brought to bear directly upon this point.

In the very beginning of religious instruction, Jesus Christ should be presented to the child, as that great and good Being, who came into this world to teach children how to be happy, both here and hereafter.

He, who made it His meat and drink to do the will of His Heavenly Father; who, in the humblest station, and most dest.i.tute condition, denied Himself, daily, and went about doing good; should constantly be presented as the object of their imitation. And as nothing so strongly influences the minds of children, as the sympathy and example of a _present_ friend, all those, who believe Him to be an _ever-present Saviour_, should avail themselves of this powerful aid. Under such training, Jesus Christ should be constantly presented to them, as their ever-watchful, tender, and sympathizing friend. If the abstract idea of an unembodied Spirit with the majestic attributes of Deity, be difficult for the mind of infancy to grasp, the simple, the gentle, the lovely, character of Christ, is exactly adapted to the wants and comprehension of a child. In this view, how touching is the language of the Saviour, to His misjudging disciples, "Suffer _the little children_ to come unto me!"

In regard to forming habits of obedience, there have been two extremes, both of which need to be shunned. One is, a stern and unsympathizing maintenance of parental authority, demanding perfect and constant obedience, without any attempt to convince a child of the propriety and benevolence of the requisitions, and without any manifestation of sympathy and tenderness for the pain and difficulties which are to be met. Under such discipline, children grow up to fear their parents, rather than to love and trust them; while some of the most valuable principles of character, are chilled, or forever blasted.

In shunning this danger, other parents pa.s.s to the opposite extreme.

They put themselves too much on the footing of equals with their children, as if little were due to superiority of relation, age, and experience. Nothing is exacted, without the implied concession that the child is to be a judge of the propriety of the requisition; and reason and persuasion are employed, where simple command and obedience would be far better. This system produces a most pernicious influence. Children soon perceive the position, thus allowed them, and take every advantage of it. They soon learn to dispute parental requirements, acquire habits of forwardness and conceit, a.s.sume disrespectful manners and address, maintain their views with pertinacity, and yield to authority with ill-humor and resentment, as if their rights were infringed.

The medium course, is, for the parent to take the att.i.tude of a superior, in age, knowledge, and relation, who has a perfect right to control every action of the child, and that, too, without giving any reason for the requisitions. "Obey, _because your parent commands_," is always a proper and sufficient reason.

But care should be taken, to convince the child that the parent is conducting a course of discipline, designed to make him happy; and in forming habits of implicit obedience, self-denial, and benevolence, the child should have the reasons for most requisitions kindly stated; never, however, on the demand of it, from the child, as a right, but as an act of kindness from the parent.

It is impossible to govern children properly, especially those of strong and sensitive feelings, without a constant effort to appreciate the value which they attach to their enjoyments and pursuits. A lady, of great strength of mind and sensibility, once told the writer, that one of the most acute periods of suffering, in her whole life, was occasioned by the burning up of some milkweed-silk, by her mother. The child had found, for the first time, some of this s.h.i.+ning and beautiful substance; was filled with delight at her discovery; was arranging it in parcels; planning its future uses, and her pleasure in showing it to her companions,--when her mother, finding it strewed over the carpet, hastily swept it into the fire, and that, too, with so indifferent an air, that the child fled away, almost distracted with grief and disappointment. The mother little realized the pain she had inflicted, but the child felt the unkindness, so severely, that for several days her mother was an object almost of aversion.

While, therefore, the parent needs to carry on a steady course, which will oblige the child always to give up its will, whenever its own good, or the greater claims of others, require it, this should be constantly connected with the expression of a tender sympathy, for the trials and disappointments thus inflicted. Those, who will join with children, and help them along in their sports, will learn, by this mode, to understand the feelings and interests of childhood; while, at the same time, they secure a degree of confidence and affection, which cannot be gained so easily, in any other way. And it is to be regretted, that parents so often relinquish this most powerful mode of influence, to domestics and playmates, who often use it in the most pernicious manner. In joining in such sports, older persons should never relinquish the att.i.tude of superiors, or allow disrespectful manners or address. And respectful deportment is never more cheerfully accorded, than in seasons, when young hearts are pleased, and made grateful, by having their tastes and enjoyments so efficiently promoted.

Next to the want of all government, the two most fruitful sources of evil to children, are, _unsteadiness_ in government, and _over-government_.

Most of the cases, in which the children of sensible and conscientious parents turn out badly, result from one or the other of these causes. In cases of unsteady government, either one parent is very strict, severe, and unbending, and the other excessively indulgent, or else the parents are sometimes very strict and decided, and at other times allow disobedience to go unpunished. In such cases, children, never knowing exactly when they can escape with impunity, are constantly tempted to make the trial.

The bad effects of this, can be better appreciated, by reference to one important principle of the mind. It is found to be universally true, that, when any object of desire is put entirely beyond the reach of hope or expectation, the mind very soon ceases to long for it, and turns to other objects of pursuit. But, so long as the mind is hoping for some good, and making efforts to obtain it, any opposition excites irritable feelings. Let the object be put entirely beyond all hope, and this irritation soon ceases. In consequence of this principle, those children, who are under the care of persons of steady and decided government, know, that whenever a thing is forbidden or denied, it is out of the reach of hope; the desire, therefore, soon ceases, and they turn to other objects. But the children of undecided, or of over-indulgent parents, never enjoy this preserving aid. When a thing is denied, they never know but either coaxing may win it, or disobedience secure it without any penalty, and so they are kept in that state of hope and anxiety, which produces irritation, and tempts to insubordination. The children of very indulgent parents, and of those who are undecided and unsteady in government, are very apt to become fretful, irritable, and fractious.

Another cla.s.s of persons, in shunning this evil, go to the other extreme, and are very strict and pertinacious, in regard to every requisition. With them, fault-finding and penalties abound, until the children are either hardened into indifference of feeling, and obtuseness of conscience, or else become excessively irritable, or misanthropic.

It demands great wisdom, patience, and self-control, to escape these two extremes. In aiming at this, there are parents, who have found the following maxims of very great value. First, Avoid, as much as possible, the multiplication of rules and absolute commands. Instead of this, take the att.i.tude of advisers. "My child, this is improper, I wish you would remember not to do it." This mode of address answers for all the little acts of heedlessness, awkwardness, or ill-manners, so frequently occurring, with children. There are cases, when direct and distinct commands are needful; and, in such cases, a penalty for disobedience should be as steady and sure as the laws of Nature. Where such steadiness, and certainty of penalty, attend disobedience, children no more think of disobeying, than they do of putting their fingers in a burning candle.

The next maxim, is, Govern by rewards, more than by penalties. Such faults as wilful disobedience, lying, dishonesty, and indecent or profane language, should be punished with severe penalties, after a child has been fully instructed in the evil of such practices. But all the constantly-recurring faults of the nursery, such as ill-humor, quarrelling, carelessness, and ill-manners, may, in a great many cases, be regulated by gentle and kind remonstrances, and by the offer of some reward for persevering efforts to form a good habit. It is very injurious and degrading to any mind, to be kept under the constant fear of penalties. _Love_ and _hope_ are the principles that should be mainly relied on, in forming the habits of childhood.

Another maxim, and perhaps the most difficult, is, Do not govern by the aid of severe and angry tones. A single example will be given to ill.u.s.trate this maxim. A child is disposed to talk and amuse itself, at table. The mother requests it to be silent, except when needing to ask for food, or when spoken to by its older friends. It constantly forgets.

The mother, instead of rebuking, in an impatient tone, says, "My child, you must remember not to talk. I will remind you of it four times more, and after that, whenever you forget, you must leave the table, and wait till we are done." If the mother is steady in her government, it is not probable that she will have to apply this slight penalty more than once or twice. This method is far more effectual, than the use of sharp and severe tones, to secure attention and recollection, and often answers the purpose, as well as offering some reward.

The writer has been in some families, where the most efficient and steady government has been sustained, without the use of a cross or angry tone; and in others, where a far less efficient discipline was kept up, by frequent severe rebukes and angry remonstrances. In the first case, the children followed the example set them, and seldom used severe tones to each other; in the latter, the method employed by the parents, was imitated by the children; and cross words and angry tones resounded from morning till night, in every portion of the household.