Book of Etiquette Volume I Part 29

_The baptism has already been arranged for four o'clock, next Sunday, at St. Peter's Church. We hope you will be present at the church, and later at a small reception here in our drawing-room._

_With kindest regards from us both, I am_

_Cordially yours,_

_Amelia B. Johnson._

_18 Woodlawn Hills, March 7, 19--_

_Dear Mrs. Johnson:_

_It will give me great pleasure to be G.o.dfather for your son.

Truly, I count it no small honor, and no slight responsibility. I am very eager to see young John Paxton, and shall be present both at the christening and at the reception._

_With every good wish for him and for his father and mother, I am_

_Sincerely yours,_

_William A. Burke._

A WORD OF SPECIAL CAUTION

In answering an invitation never say "will accept." The act of writing the answer involves either the acceptance or the regret, as the case may be, and the present tense should be used.

CHAPTER VI

CORRESPONDENCE

TO-DAY AND YESTERDAY

It is customary nowadays to deplore the fact that the art of letter-writing has fallen into decay, and when we read that the entire correspondence of an engaged couple recently was carried on for two years by telephone and telegraph we are inclined to believe it. Yet such is not the case. It is true that we no longer have--and for this we should be truly grateful--flowery expressions of rhetorical feeling interlarded with poetic sentiments selected from a "Home Book of Verse," or some similar compilation, but we do have letters which are genuine and wholesome expressions of friends.h.i.+p.

It is a gift to be able to write lovely notes of congratulation, sympathy and appreciation, and one that has to be cultivated. Writing of all kinds grows perfect with practice and the large majority of people have to serve a long apprentices.h.i.+p before they have mastered the gentle art of expressing themselves on paper. It is an art worth mastering even if one never has to write anything but polite social notes and letters.

THE LETTER YOU WRITE

From Buckingham we have the following little rhyme that does full justice to the important art of letter-writing:

Of all those arts in which the wise excel, Nature's chief masterpiece is writing well.

A letter, business or social, is simply talk upon paper. And as a wise philosopher once said, "Never put on paper what you would not care to see printed in the newspaper for all to read." As in everything else connected with the social world, ease is absolutely essential to the correct letter. The style must not be cramped, stilted, forced. A free and easy flow of language, simple and understandable, and with just that acceptable degree of cordiality and heartiness that makes one enjoy reading, is essential in all correspondence.

And yet, letters should be written _personally_--that is, they should represent the sender. Be sure, first, that you know exactly what you want to say, and how you want to say it. Then put it down on paper as though you were speaking; make no pretense at being so very highly educated that you must use flowery language and poetical phrases.

Simplicity in form and wording is the most effective and graceful method. It is a greater mark of learning and intelligence to write a simple, ably expressed, cordial letter, than to write one that shows an obvious effort to cover, by extravagant expressions and highly figurative language, the reserve and dignity that are the foundation of all good-breeding.

In the following pages it is possible for us only to give the prescribed principles of correct form, suggesting the forms and expressions to be avoided. But the true art of letter-writing rests with you--and your own personality. We would suggest that you read carefully each letter you receive, noting and remembering those expressions that most appeal to you. A good appeal is generally universal; what appeals to you in a letter you receive will appeal to others. Thus you will find that personal experience in this matter will help you much more than any book that gives you only the foundation of form and style.

THE BUSINESS LETTER

It is interesting to find in the midst of the lament that in the twentieth century people have ceased to find time to write letters or to be courteous that the Postmaster General has rescinded previous orders which directed that departmental correspondence should not begin with the ceremonial form of "My dear Sir," and that the complimentary close, "Yours sincerely," etc., should not be used. His order is worth quoting:

"In no part of our work does the demand for the human quality apply more than in the matter of writing letters. By far the largest contact of this department with the public is by means of the letters which are written. Letters can be cold, stereotyped, following the same routine day by day, appearing more or less machine made, and the impression which the recipient has upon reading the letter is that the suggestion, complaint, pet.i.tion or application made has been given scant consideration.

"I want every letter that goes out from this department or any of the Post Offices or other field offices to convince the reader of the fact, for it must be a fact, that whatever he has written has been received sympathetically and that an effort has been made to give the writer the benefit of every possible service which the department affords.

"To this end I think the writers should endeavor to make their letters more informal than is now the case generally; that they should, wherever the exigencies of the case do not require otherwise, be as explicit as possible, and that reasons for the position taken by the department should be given. Above all, I do not want the letters to be stereotyped."

A business letter is written with a purpose. It is a good letter when it accomplishes that purpose briefly, thoroughly, and courteously.

Women especially should be careful not to be discursive. Business men have not time to puzzle over bad handwriting or ambiguous sentences.

Whenever it can be done conveniently the business letter should be written on the typewriter. Tinted stationery is never appropriate, and ruled stationery should never be used either for business or social correspondence.

The correct form for the salutation of a business letter includes the name and address of the person or firm to whom the letter is written as well as the ceremonial form of salutation. Thus:

Bradford and Munro, 534 Fifth Avenue, New York City, N.Y.

Gentlemen: (or Dear Sirs or My dear Sirs)

Mrs. H. K. Weatherly, Secretary of the Citizens' League, Smithville, Arkansas.

Dear Mrs. Weatherly: (or Dear Madam or My dear Madam)

Except when it is the first word of the salutation, _dear_ should not begin with a capital letter. The address in the salutation should be repeated exactly on the envelope and particular care should be taken to make it legible. The stamp should always be placed in the upper right-hand corner. It is bad form to put it on obliquely or upside down or to place it in the left-hand corner or on the back flap of the envelope. It is a silly practice to do so and causes the postal clerks a great deal of trouble.

FUNCTION OF THE SOCIAL LETTER

There are, necessarily, several kinds of letters, the three most important divisions of which are the friendly letter, the business letter, and the social letter. In its strictest sense, the social letter is written for a distinct social purpose--usually about, or in response to, some purely social circ.u.mstance. The difference between a friendly letter and a social letter is relatively the same as the difference between a strictly formal and a friendly informal visit.

To write a friendly letter, one simply writes what one feels, heeding no very stringent rules regarding letter-writing. But the social letter-writer finds that there are certain forms that must be carefully observed, if his or her letters are to be considered entirely correct.

There are two distinct forms of the social letters--the formal and the informal. The formal social note is used only for invitations, announcements and their respective acknowledgments. It is always written in the third person, and always requires an answer. Even though it is sent to the most intimate friend, the formal note remains formal; although later a friendly letter may be sent to remove any possible constraint or "chill." The informal note has no definite formula, except that it can be generally compared to all the informal trend of correct social usage. The first person is used in the writing of informal notes.

Whether formal or informal, the social note always bears the name of the person to whom it is addressed. To ill.u.s.trate, when writing socially to Mrs. Joselyn, one does not use the expression, "Dear Madam," but "Dear Mrs. Joslyn." In America the form "my dear" is considered a trifle more formal than just "dear," although in England the reverse is true. "Dear Madam" and "Dear Sir" are forms reserved exclusively for use with business letters.

THE ETIQUETTE OF STATIONERY

The well-known proverb may well be changed to read, "A man is known by the stationery he uses." There is no greater opportunity to show good taste--or bad--than in the tone, design and type of note paper we use.

It is as effective an index to one's individuality as are the clothes we wear.

Just as in everything else, there are new fas.h.i.+ons in the sizes, forms and general appearance of social correspondence each season.