Book of Etiquette Volume Ii Part 27

Hand-shaking is in order, and a polite phrase, such as, "Good-by, Mrs.

Jones, I hope I shall have the pleasure of seeing you again," is most appropriate. If it is desired, an exchange of cards may accompany this leave-taking, especially if one really wishes to continue the friends.h.i.+p.

Farewells on board a s.h.i.+p should be brief but cordial. Long, sentimental farewells should never be indulged in for, at the most, they cause only sorrow at the parting of a brief friends.h.i.+p that may perhaps never be resumed. A warm handclasp, a sincere word or two of farewell--and it should be over.

AT HOTEL AND RESTAURANT

When arriving in a strange city, a traveler immediately asks to be driven to whatever hotel he has previously decided upon. Here he registers, using the same form that appears on his visiting card but adding to it the name of the city from which he has come.

The woman who is traveling alone does well to wire or phone ahead to the hotel and request that they reserve a room for her. While at the hotel, her conduct must be unimpeachable. She must not entertain masculine visitors in her private rooms, but only in the public reception room of the hotel. She must not return to the hotel after midnight, and she should not dine alone in the hotel dining-room after eight o'clock.

When a large party is to dine at a hotel, the table should be reserved and the dishes chosen in advance. This will save a great deal of confusion and waste of time. If the dinner is not arranged for in advance, the host or hostess should do all the ordering, subjecting it, of course, to the approval of the guests.

AT TEA-ROOM AND ROOF GARDEN

There seems to be something about a tea-room, whether it be at home or in some strange city or town, that is conducive to quiet and peacefulness. Loud talking and boisterous laughter is entirely out of place, and those who are guilty of indulging in these two improprieties condemn themselves as ill-bred.

At the tea-room the lady always retains her hat. Gloves are removed and wraps may either be slipped off the shoulders or completely removed. At the roof garden, hats are also worn, except in the evening when full evening dress is worn. Here also, it is important that a quiet reserve of manner characterize the lady and the gentleman. No amount of frivolity and gayety in the atmosphere of one's environment can excuse noisy, ill-mannered conduct.

TO THOSE WHO LOVE TO TRAVEL

Almost everyone enjoys traveling, but there are comparatively few people who really appreciate it. To those who love to travel, who find it an inspiration and a delight, the following bits of information may be of interest.

If you want to enjoy a trip to a foreign country--let us say France,--spend a week or two reading about the history and literature of that country. Make notes while you are reading, give your imagination full rein, and absorb just as much knowledge as you can of the habits and customs of the French people. The cultivation of the imagination is especially important; while you read about France, picture the tiny villages and big cities to yourself, try to visualize the people and their homes. And when you do arrive in France, you will find keen enjoyment in seeing the people and places that lived first in your imagination. We promise that you will enjoy your trip a great deal more than if you neglected to devote a little time to the reading up of the important facts about the country you intended to visit.

Another very good plan is to buy a French-and-English or a Spanish-and-English dictionary before or as soon as reaching those countries. Whether one knows the language or not, it is always safest to have one of these little volumes handy. They are absolutely indispensable to those who expect to travel in a country the language of which is entirely unknown to them.

Wise tourists carry a map of the countries they intend visiting. It saves them much time, and often prevents mistakes. These maps may be obtained of most reliable stationers, and they take up very little s.p.a.ce. There are times, during the journey, when their help is well nigh invaluable; and a map is nearly always a safer guide than a native.

A camera is a splendid thing to have along on one's trips abroad. No matter how vivid an impression a certain scene makes upon one's mind, it is bound to fade with the pa.s.sing of a year or so. But a clear snap-shot taken of that scene will keep it fresh indefinitely, for one needs only to glance at the picture to have all a.s.sociations with the scene recalled. The latest cameras have a device for writing the date and name of the place on the negative, to be printed with the picture. It is most convenient for the tourist.

There are too many of us who rush through the world seeing nothing. We race through one country after another, hustling and bustling, feeling important and acting the part--and we feel that we have traveled. But that is not travel. True travel is when a man or woman visits a strange country and carries back with him, or her, to be remembered forever, impressions of the people and customs of that country--valuable impressions that make his or her life fuller, wider, more in sympathy with the great world of fellow-men. Better stay at home and read good books about foreign countries, than rush through them with unseeing eyes, merely to be able to tell those at home that you have "been abroad."

CHAPTER VIII

TIPPING

AN UN-AMERICAN CUSTOM

Everyone knows that tipping is a European custom and is entirely un-American in principle. But while the custom is observed as widely in this country as it is to-day, it is both inconsiderate and bad form to ignore it. The wages of waiters end waitresses, porters and hotel servants are outrageously small, for the reason that they receive tips for each service they perform for individual guests and travelers. If the tipping custom were abolished, the wages of these people would be correspondingly increased; but as things are now, it is inconsiderate to deprive them of the tips that both they and their employers expect that they will receive.

In a little tea shop in Fifth Avenue in New York, the following is printed on the back of each menu: "Tipping is an un-American custom.

Help us abolish it by adding 10c to the amount of your bill. At the end of the week, the waiter will receive the entire amount added to his wages." Patrons have greeted this plan enthusiastically. They feel that it presages the ultimate abolition of a custom that has long been in disrepute because it is so distinctly un-American. The waiters in this progressive little tea-room serve each patron with the same degree of courtesy and respect; there is no fawning servility, no unfair dividing of service between two patrons.

Let us hope that before long all restaurants and hotels will follow the lead of the little tea-shop that revolts against the undemocratic custom of tipping. But for the present, while it remains a national custom, we must know when to tip and how to tip, and the correct amounts.

In certain states, as in South Carolina, tipping is illegal. In this case as in all others of a like nature, the rules of etiquette are set aside in favor of the statutes of the law.

LAVISH TIPPING

The man or woman who gives a waiter or a porter a tip that is entirely incommensurate with that individual's services, is not impressing by his generosity, but is earning the derision of the servants for his lack of _savoir faire_. Extravagance in tipping is like extravagance in any other form--it is decidedly vulgar.

A servant should be tipped according to the amount of service rendered.

The hall-boy who brings you a pitcher of ice-water should not receive the same amount as the waiter who serves a full course dinner. Nor should the maid who cares for your room be forgotten while the porter who carries your trunks is handsomely rewarded for his few minutes'

service.

IN DINING-ROOM OR DINING-CAR

At a hotel, when a guest expects to stay for a long time, he may reward the waiter in the dining-room for his services at the end of each week.

One dollar is considered the correct amount for a woman guest for a week's service in the dining-room, and one dollar and a half for the gentleman guest. Individual tips should amount to ten per cent. of the bill.

In the dining-car a tip of twenty-five cents is sufficient for the services rendered a man or woman. The woman who travels alone may leave twenty-five cents for the waiter in the dining-car. The man who travels alone should leave ten per cent. of the bill, or more according to the services received.

The woman who travels with children and stops at a hotel dining-room or a restaurant along the route, for dinner, should remember that children always require extra service and trouble, and the waiter or waitress should be tipped accordingly. A woman with one child should leave a twenty-five cent tip; and when there are more children the tip should be increased so as to be commensurate with the services received.

AT THE HOTEL

Women are never expected to tip as generously as men. At a hotel, the woman should remember the hall-boy, the chamber-maid, the porter, and the waiter in the dining-room. When her stay is a short one, twenty-five cents apiece is sufficient for each one, except the hall-boy, who is given a tip of ten cents whenever he performs an individual service. If her stay is longer, she should tip according to the amount of service received from each servant.

The man at the hotel is not expected to tip the chamber-maid unless she performs some very special service for him. But he tips all others who serve him in any way. The porter should receive ten cents for each trunk that he carries to the room, and more if he performs additional service. Ten cents is adequate compensation for the bell-boy whenever he performs some service, and it should be forthcoming immediately upon the completion of that service.

Both men and women guests are expected to tip a hotel employee whom they send out on an errand in proportion to the services rendered. If the trip to be taken is a long one, and entails a great deal of trouble. The tip should be a generous one.

THE TAXI-DRIVER

In large cities where taxicabs are fitted with meters that give the exact amount of ground covered and the corresponding cost, the traveler has nothing to fear. He may pay the amount with full confidence that he is not being over-charged. His tip should be fifteen or twenty-five cents, according to the length of the trip; or if the taxi-driver has been specially requested to make the trip in the shortest possible time, and if the distance covered is unusually long, a tip of fifty cents should be forthcoming.

But in some small towns where taxicabs have no meters, unsuspecting strangers are often forced to pay twice or even three times as much as the trip is actually worth. For this reason, it is always wise to know exactly the values of certain trips, and the careful man or woman will know when it is worth one dollar and when it is worth three. To remonstrate with the driver when you feel that he has excessively overcharged is to discourage his future attempts to do the same thing to others. A distance of twenty city blocks--or one mile--should never amount to more than fifty cents; from this figure it should be easy to compute what longer trips should cost.

There is no more reason why exorbitant tips should be paid the taxi-driver than the waiter. He performs no greater service, except in unusual cases, such as catching a train in time or getting you to a physician quickly. The amount of the tip should be in proportion to the amount of the bill, if the trip is just an ordinary one.

ON THE TRAIN

The man in the baggage room who gathers together and checks the trunks will expect a tip of at least twenty-five cents. A woman may offer less than this--but never less than ten cents. To the porter who carries the hand luggage aboard the train and finds a comfortable seat for the traveler, a tip of fifteen or twenty-five cents should be given, and the parlor car porter who performs many little services during the trip should be similarly tipped.

When the railroad journey is longer than twenty-four hours, the man and woman will find that they have several people to tip in the sleeper. The porter who makes the beds and blackens the boots will expect nothing less than twenty-five cents, and for extra service he is ent.i.tled to extra compensation. Others who perform services are tipped in amounts that are commensurate with the services rendered, and immediately upon the performance of those services.