The McNaughtens Part 8

Spruce (to McNaughten) Yes, sir, here they are: the father and daughter, together. You can speak with both of them about your affair.

Hastings Ah, sir, my daughter and I must beg your pardon for my sister and her wild delusions. You conceive, sir, that women, like little girls, sometimes have spirits that go against their family.

McNaughten Ah,--yes,--sir.

Hastings You return quickly. I am delighted.

McNaughten I come to wish you a good day. And, at the same time, to marry a lady named Flavella, whose father you are,--at least every one says so. In short, that is what brings me here.

Hastings I've already told you, and I repeat, how much this pleases me. My daughter is happy, too. Having seen you, she now submits to love and duty. At first, she had a slight distaste--but after seeing you, her heart melted.

McNaughten (puzzled) We've met before?

Hastings Just now. You left her here, and appeared content.

McNaughten Me? I left her here?

Hastings YOU, without a doubt. Certainly. We were just greeting you, with great joy, when my sister came with her crazy talk, and interrupted our conversation. How can you forget so soon?

McNaughten Someone is dreaming--either you or me! What! You would have me believe that I have already seen your daughter! When? How? Where?

Hastings Right here--on this spot--a little while ago.

McNaughten So, you're crazy. This will make me look like a person having hallucinations, and I don't like that at all. However that may be, I see her now. Whether it is the first or second time makes little difference for our marriage.

Hastings (low) At first, I thought this man was very intelligent.

McNaughten Madame, they've boasted to me, in letters, about your attractions. I'm quite content, seeing you, that all that was true. But, in some cases, temperament doesn't go together with beauty. It's up to you to cure my apprehensions on that score. I will give my verdict, after you have spoken.

Flavella (aside) I don't understand him. His mind is troubled.

McNaughten I love men of spirit more than any man in England. I, myself, am brilliant without study. I find that study is the perfect way to spoil one's youth--besides being no use, whatever. So, I've never stuck my nose in a book. When a gentleman knows how to ride and steer his horse, drink, sign his name,--he is as wise a gentleman as the late Cicero.

Hastings Will you take a position at court or in the Army?

McNaughten My mind is not made up. Court has many powerful attractions--provided the routine doesn't fatigue me. War also has its attractions. Because savants versed in astrology have a.s.sured me that I will live to be at least a hundred, necessarily I will not die on the battle field. My name will be famous throughout Europe. But still, there are so few wars these days. I really want to fulfill my destiny. If I only knew what it was. I really love to live.

Spruce You are very wise.

Flavella What a speech! What nonsense! Am I really listening to the man I love?

McNaughten What's wrong? You appear surprised--as if I'd said something crazy.

You look to me (addressing Flavella) --let's speak openly--as if you have little intention of heeding any lesson from your husband.

Flavella (icily) I know what my duty is as an engaged woman.

McNaughten To be sure, I think you are virtuous and prudent. But you've got an amorous and sly look about you that doesn't augur well for me in the future. Without being a fortune teller, I predict you are planning some little trick to play on me in the future. True? What do you say?

Hastings Sir, fear nothing. My daughter always behaves herself properly.

McNaughten The sly ones always behave with great propriety.

Flavella Heavens! Can he say this to my face? Father, let me leave. This gentleman flatters me too much. His tender compliments allow me to understand his sentiments only too well.

(Exit Flavella before her father can reply)

Hastings (aside) I thought at first my son-in-law had beautiful manners.

McNaughten Women don't' really like sincerity very much.

Spruce You don't flatter them.

McNaughten By G.o.d, I am frank. Woman, mistress, friend, are all alike to me. I am not afraid to say what I think.

Hastings That's very proper. Everything will be fine. Please stay at my house.

McNaughten I receive that gracious offer in the proper spirit, but--

Hastings To let you suffer in a hotel would be an insult.

McNaughten I beg you to let me stay at liberty a little longer.

Hastings So be it! I am going to see about this marriage contract.

(Aside) My would be son-in-law appears a savage. But his wealth redeems all.

(Exit Hastings)

McNaughten (slowly) I have seen the object I am to marry.

Spruce Yes, sir. Right here.

McNaughten Tell me, frankly, what do you think?

Spruce To be honest with you, I didn't find many perfections.

McNaughten My word, neither did I.

Spruce (aside) What an additional embarra.s.sment. One of our creditors is bearing down on us. It's the old clothes merchant who is paying us a visit.

(Enter Mr. Bronlow)

Bronlow (greeting McNaughten) My humble duties. I learned this morning of your return, sir. I have come to be the first to welcome you to England. We were all worried about you. Extremely worried, I may say. In my establishment, everybody loves you, me, my daughter, my wife--we all tremble with fear that something might happen to you.

McNaughten Such good souls to love me without having seen me! I never would have believed it.

Bronlow We owe it to you, sir. And for very good reason. You've been a friend of our house for a very long time.

McNaughten (to Spruce, low) Who is this man?