Julius Caesar Chapter 68

Published at 31st of March 2019 09:20:07 PM Chapter 68

"He wants to see Augusta, Ceasar . It's not fair-" Samantha tells me for the hundredth time today as I take out the groceries from the car's back seat and resolutely walk by her, ignoring her .

I fish for the front door's keys from my jeans' pockets as I feel Samantha follow me .

"Julius Ceasar Alexander!" she presses and I glance at her angry face over my shoulder . She has a hand on her hips with Augusta in her other arm, her floral skirt fluttering against her s.h.i.+ns from the cold breeze .

I unlock the door and we both enter, she with a scowl on her face and I with an annoyed look .

"He will see her-"

"What part of 'I-don't-want-him-to' don't you understand?" I finally say exasperatedly, swinging the door shut with a kick .

"It has been almost two weeks, Julius! He keeps calling every day to make sure she's alright . He clearly wants to see her!" Her eyes are wide and accusing as the weak sun rays streaming from the huge window, give them a subtle glow .

I do a double take and narrow my eyes at her . "You talk every day?" I then scoff and talk to the ceiling . "Didn't know my wife and daddy were best mates!"

"Stop being ridiculous, he's your father!"

I drop the grocery bags in the middle of the reception and walk past her to the kitchen . She leaves Augusta who was fast asleep and engulfed in a baby pink blanket on the sofa and follows me, still apparently having a lot to say .

I sigh, pull the fridge's door open and reach for the milk carton . I open it and she stops me .

"Drink from a gla.s.s, Julius-" she warns, but I chug down what remains of the carton while locking her eyes just to infuriate her .

She purses her lips and I chuckle at her reaction before aiming at the dustbin to throw it . It gets right in .

"What will I tell him next time he calls?! He wants to see his granddaughter and-uh-" she then suddenly pauses and clears her throat .

I cross my arms over my chest as she backs away against the marble counter . I notice a knife where she was going to plant her right hand, so I quickly reach for it as she inhales sharply at my sudden proximity .

She then rolls her eyes . "I already knew the knife was there . You needn't act so gentlem-"

"Sure, sure . . . just keep going . Continue talking nonsense I'm not going to changing my mind about . I'm all ears, darling-" I say leaning against the doorcase and balancing the knife on my index finger . "Continue, love . And what? He wants to see me, for example?"

Samantha sighs, pinching her nose and glaring at me . "Actually, yes! He is your father! He loves you-"

"You act like you haven't witnessed what happened to every and each one of us because of his s.h.i.+t-" I say sternly, holding the knife properly now .

"The past-"

I groan, knowing what she'll say and almost immediately Augusta starts wailing .

"See what you have done?!" Samantha starts and my eyes widen .

"Me?" I feign surprise . "I clearly was the one ranting like a lunatic-"

"I hate you!" she says between her teeth, stomping out of the kitchen and purposefully b.u.mping into me .

I stagger a little under the force of her push and suppress a smile .

"Bulls.h.i.+t, you love me!" I yell after her and I can see her giving me the finger before she picks Augusta .

That is how our conversations are like ever since Augusta was born . She is almost always stressed, always complaining about something or another, but I understand- she is a new mother after all .

I occasionally offered to help her with Augusta when I grew some b.a.l.l.s and wasn't afraid of holding her fragile, feather-light being in my arms . I even used to stay up in the middle of the night holding her to me as she breastfed Augusta .

It is difficult . And h.e.l.l, it has only been two weeks .

I push myself off the doorcase and walk to Samantha who was standing in the middle of the living room, rocking now-calm Augusta in her arms .

She notices me approach her and gives me a dirty look before looking back at Augusta, ignoring me .

I collapse on the sofa where I could watch her, spread my legs in front of me, tilt my head and give her a lopsided smile .

She glances at me . "I'm angry . You're not supposed to smile . "

"I don't see you angry often-"

She rolls her eyes . "You wouldn't want me to be-"

"I don't give you the reason to-"

"Yeah right . The milk cart-?"

"There's no way this is going to change . "

"What about going out without a coat? In the coldest of days, Caes-" She pauses to glance at Augusta who is s.h.i.+fting between her arms before looking up at me with a displeased look and whispering fiercely . "The coldest of days!"

"This shouldn't bother you . I'm a grownup man . I know what to-"

"No, you will end up catching pneumoni" she glares . "Then who'll care for you when I'm busy with Gusta?"

I stare at her for a while amazed at how that manages to vex her so much . I sigh .

"You just get bothered by everything . Try relaxing, sweetheart . Heard that it works really well-"

"Don't tell me-" she starts and the doorbell rings .

I quickly glance at the door, slowly sitting up straight . I then look at Samantha who has the same blank face as mine .

"Did you invite anyone over?" I ask her curiously and she shakes her head slowly .

"I'll go check-" she then says and I stop her .

"Of course not . Stay here . "

I approach the door and look through the magic eye to find a prestigious-looking, blonde lady standing with a red bag on her forearm and uh?- a -er- a . . . poodle?

I bounce away from the door to find Samantha behind me .

"I -uh- think it's one of your lady friends . "

"Lady friends?" She makes a face and I shrug before she decides to check for herself, handing me Augusta .

"s.h.i.+t!" she then whispers roughly and I fling my gun out already from my back pocket . She notices it and shakes her head vigorously . "s.h.i.+t, Julius, no . It's not like this . It's my mother!"

"It's your mother?" I repeat, shocked . "Where the h.e.l.l did that come from?"

"Oh my G.o.d, I forgot!" she gasps, biting her lower lip and staggering toward the door . "She always comes to check up on me every Christmas Eve!"

"Does she even know I exist?" I ask a supposedly easy question as the doorbell rings again .

Samantha looks really nervous and fumbles with her fingers . "No . I just managed to tell her that I moved out . "

"Well, s.h.i.+t!"

"s.h.i.+t, indeed-"

"Just open the door . "

"What will I tell her?!" She freaks out and I scoff .

"I'll take the matter in my hands-"

Samantha gulps before she hesitantly and very slowly opens the door with a pressed smile . Samantha is still standing in the doorway but I can hear her mother's mature, melodic voice come from behind it .

"-it has been so long!" she speaks with a strong French accent, repulsively reminding me of Lucien .

"Yes, Mama, please come in-"

"You haven't changed a bit-"

Samantha laughs nervously and I stand back ready to meet her .

She steps in with her elegant white pumps paired with a plain white pantsuit and the poodle's leash in her left red-gloved hand . She settles her little red bag on the hanger next to the door before she turns to me, taking off her sungla.s.ses in slow elegance and pus.h.i.+ng it over the wave of blond hair on top of her head .

Her red-stained lips part on seeing me, her blue eyes- identical to Samantha's- widening a bit .

Oh, I haven't even shaved, I remember as I absent-mindedly touch my chin .

Samantha is standing next to me, resting a hand on my right arm as I awkwardly adjust Augusta on my left one .

The silence that fell on us seemed endless, only interrupted by a single bark coming from the neatly-groomed poodle, finally indicating- show time .

I pull on my most charming smile, put out a hand and with my impeccable, English accent I tell her, "Good afternoon, ma'am . I am Julius Caesar, your beloved daughter's husband and this is Augusta, our first daughter and essentially your first granddaughter too . "

She closes her mouth and glances sharply at Samantha before looking back at me with a gooseb.u.mp-inducing glare . She eyes me up and down and scowls .

Well, I am just wearing jeans, a grey s.h.i.+rt and a navy-blue flannel topped with a denim jacket . I mean, forgive me I was going out for groceries, I needn't look das.h.i.+ng .

"Hold my poodle," she then tells me, not even glancing at my direction before turning to her daughter . My reflexes help me catch the leash she thrusts in my chest as I tighten my hold around Augusta .

"We need to talk . Now-" she then glances at me . "Alone . "

She walks past us and absent-mindedly enters the nearest room- the dining room . Samantha and I look at each other with wide eyes, not knowing what to expect . Samantha's about to leave me, when I gently grab her wrist, pull her close and hastily press a kiss to her rose petals for lips .

She blushes fiercely, mouths 'I love you' before following her mother for what appears to be a heated conversation .

With Augusta in a hand and the hyper, barking poodle in the other, I decide I need to go for a walk to give them the s.p.a.ce they need . And you might not believe it, but the moment I step into the park I got so used to (yes, that same park you've been reading about, Sharon), I b.u.mp into a person I almost forgot existed .

"What the h.e.l.l-?" And then recognition slowly floods his face before he whispers in disbelief . "Romeo?"

---

Samantha's POV .

Mama's back is facing me as she holds onto a chair for dear life .

I gulp, stand straighter and then reach for her shoulder . She instantly turns to me on my touch and looks at me with tear-filled, accusatory eyes . My heart decides to run a marathon with my rus.h.i.+ng thoughts and I wonder, I wonder who will win- a heart tender for a missed mother or a brain poisoned with an ugly truth .

"Mam?"

"I don't feel as bad as I look-" she tells me, wiping carefully at her eyes with a satin handkerchief . "It's okay-it's okay-"

Her face is red from all the thoughts filling and pressurizing her head and her eyes are swollen from all the unshed tears . I tilt my head and sigh heavily .

"I'm sorry . "

Those two words hang in the air between us and I realize it feels pathetic to apologize for something I love- someone I love and would die for . It's stupid to apologize for a beautiful daughter . It's stupid not wanting to just laugh at her lost eyes with which she's staring at me as if she's looking at something she never knew .

Well, she doesn't know me anymore .

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I'm not sorry for any decision I have taken . I love Julius-"

"It's just that-" she starts, sniffing and pacing around, her right, still-gloved hand on her hips . "-that you chose him . . . him over all the French boys I showed-"

"You just said it, Mam" I say almost rolling my eyes at how ridiculous she sounds to me right now . "French boys . Julius is a man . An amazing man, actually . You know nothing about him-" I say, anger slithering its way to my throat, tightening and tightening my voice . I clear my throat .

"I know nothing about you too apparently-" she catches me off guard with the sharpness under her tone and this time I roll my eyes . So she comes here, out of nowhere, glares at my husband and acts like she gives a flying s.h.i.+t about my life when she has left me discarded and blind before . Ironic .

"It's not like you wanted to know and I stopped you from it-"

I almost hear Mama stop breathing . "I never wanted to interfere . I thought you were content with being . . . alone-"

"Bulls.h.i.+t, Mam" I say, hurt by her excuse . "No one is ever content with being alone . No one . Those who say they are- they're just lying!" I pause to catch my breath . "Don't you say that . Don't you convince yourself that leaving me- like this . . . alone . . . with Papa or-or Amanda was for my contention . Don't you trick yourself-"

Mama's shoulders slump and the colour leaves her face . "I thought you loved your father-"

"A murderer!" It just bursts out of me and Mama's hands freeze mid-movement before they drop dead to her sides .

"Samant-"

"A murderer who was in love with you . So in love to the extent that he had no problem driving drunk to kill himself and his daughter . I was- I was blind Mama! I was blind and all you took care off was if your gloves matched your poodle's leas.h.!.+ All of this and you expect yourself to know me?!" I scoff and look away, feeling my hands shake with the anger trying to flood away from them . Everything I am saying is true . She has always been busy being famous and making money, being the successful fas.h.i.+on designer she is .

"I-" she starts, gulping and looking down .

"Why did you divorce Papa?" I ask her mercilessly and she brings her hands to her quivering lips .

"Samantha, please . This is-"

"No, no- and don't you make that face like it's all f.u.c.king stupid and I'm just overdramatizing this!" I then stare dead in her eyes . "There's no s.p.a.ce in my life for more of your intricate lies . "

"Samantha, you wouldn't unders-"

"h.e.l.l, yeah, I would!" I say, rolling my hands into fists . "I would understand very well that you left me with him because you knew he was a murderer . And while you were disgusted by him and didn't want anything to do with him . . . oh, yes, yes, even your own daughter, he was in love with you . And even though he- he-" I pause and examine the guilty look she is wearing as she slowly shakes her head at the truth unravelling right in front of her eyes . "-he had the power to kill you because you knew of his dirty truth, he never touched a hair of yours . And you just- you just fled!" I move my arms around, trying to emphasize how pathetic this all is . "And what did you do when you knew your daughter lost her vision, huh? What did you do?!"

"Samantha, dear-"

"You left me your phone number!" I yell at her, no longer able to carry the fury poisoning my soul . "And what did you do when my f.u.c.king father died? What did you do?!"

"I'm so so sorry-" she starts sobbing and I look at her in disgust .

"You got me Danielle, Mama . A stranger . And it was mere luck that she didn't kill me in the middle of the night when I couldn't see s.h.i.+t to defend myself-" I pant, running my fingers in my hair . "So don't you come here and tell me how you don't know me . Don't you tell me you're not happy with what I've chosen for myself . Don't act like you even tried to choose something for me . "

Mama's hands drop from her mouth to her chest as tears flow down her eyes . "Baby, I'm so so-"

"You should know when sorries mean s.h.i.+t . You should know when they can actually fix anything . Because now? This sorry? It means nothing . It means nothing at all . "

"What- what do you want me to do right now?" she asks breathlessly, choking on her tears .

"Act like you always do! Act too busy for your daughter . Smile your stupid, fake smile, then leave-" I spit out the words as she looks at me with disbelief .

"You have changed-"

"It takes a truth when your whole life has been a lie for you to change . You wouldn't know . "

Mama gulps, holds her hands together and apparently decides to approach me . I furrow my eyebrows at her but she doesn't stop . When she's a few inches away from me she starts talking .

"I am not going to apologize because I know you're right, but-" she locks my eyes and shakes her head . "You haven't the slightest clue where I've been . What has happened to me . I was dragged into and out of h.e.l.l with your father . It was just-" she waves her hands and breathes out through her mouth . "-it was tempting to completely to cut him out of my life-"

"You left me-"

"I left you because I hated you-" she spits out and my heart is still beating the same . "I hated that you had to be there, serving as a reminder to the greatest mistake of my life . And I know- it was selfish, but honey, I was devastated by what I had witnessed . "

I look away disgusted by her audacity to say all this just like that .

"Honey, he wanted me to join him-" she blurts out and I stare at her in disbelief . "He'd make me watch him do all-all-" she gasps, shaking her head . "-all the torturing he did . To kids . Kids, Samantha! And oh-" she pauses to wipe some more tears . "Those poor little boys . Lucien and Esteban-"

"Wait-" I quickly stop her with a curious look on my face . "How do you know their real names?"

"Your father trusted me . He'd talk non-stop about his wicked plans- the deep web and I'd have to listen-" she says . "I'd have to listen or I'm as good as dead . Or at least that was what I thought . He was a murderer, Samantha . A murderer . "

I grimace at the thought .

"Your father is the sickest b.a.s.t.a.r.d I've ever known . And his death is a blessing from G.o.d-"

"That doesn't f.u.c.king explain why you didn't come for me when he died . It doesn't explain the disappointment in your eyes right now-" I tell her, pursing my lips and she blinks at the ceiling, her hands on her neck .

"It doesn't, baby, it doesn't . I don't think anything will-" she says, shaking her head and I look at her like I'm not surprised .

"I know . "

"Baby, I ruined your life-"

"No, you really didn't-" I reply nonchalantly . "You don't hold that kind of power . "

"I'm glad-" she says and I scoff . "I'm glad you found your happiness through it all . Even-" she frowns . "Even after all what you must've been through . Even if it wasn't how you expected it to be . I'm glad . "

I curtly nod in her direction and she sighs before forcing a smile on her lips . "I'd like to talk with Julian an-"

"Julius . "

"Julius-" she repeats, slowly, not daring to look me in the eyes . "I'm sorry . I'd love to look at my- my granddaughter . And your wedding pictures . And maybe celebrate Christmas with you?"

I watch her try to be nice and my heart gets stuck in a dilemma . Should I believe her and let her in? After all, I have witnessed what Papa was capable of- it couldn't have been easy for her . Or should I just hold a grudge against her for not taking me away from him and protecting my innocence?

"Please, Samanth" she begs, her eyes red-brimmed and bright from the tears .

"It just occurs to me that-" I say faintly . "That if I hadn't confronted you, this would've never happened . If I hadn't told you that I know the truth, nothing would have ever changed . I mean-" I then sharply divert my gaze to her . "I mean, what do you think?"

"I was protecting you-" she tries to say . "The truth would've hurt you . You loved your father . I couldn't tell you-"

"Yeah, so you leave me with a madman . Yeah, yeah, some protection you're talking about-" I sigh, crossing my arms across my chest .

"No-" she breathes out . "I always called you . When your father wasn't with you, Amanda was there for you-"

"Until she decided to pa.s.s on her job to Danielle, right? I mean, h she must've gotten bored of taking care of an incapable twenty-three-year-old! Why haven't I considered that?! I mean h.e.l.l, her own mother is bore-"

"Samantha, never!"

"Your actions spoke volumes, Mama!" I almost shout, but keep it together, knowing that there is no point now . It is all in the b.l.o.o.d.y past .

"Samantha, you were brought up as a soft girl," she says, her hands shaking . "I knew you wouldn't handle a truth like this-"

"You did not bring up a soft girl-" I smirk and shake my head . "Oh, ha, not in your wildest dreams . Mama, you brought up a wolf . What are you even saying?"

"I can see-" she says dolefully . "You're very strong . "

"Yes, thanks to you . "

Mama looks down, at loss of words before she looks up at me and holds my gaze . "I don't want what we have to go down the drain . I don't want to lose you-"

"You already lost me the moment you became a liar in my eyes-"

"But I can't live without you-" she says, approaching and taking my cold hands in her gloved ones . "I'm your mother, Samantha . And I love you . Not a day has pa.s.sed without me thinking about you and the life I've managed to give you-"

"Life? You mean, money . The money you managed to give me, thinking it'd be enough to suffice for what I've lost-"

"Your words are killing me-"

"The truth is killing you!" I snap, removing my hands from her grasp and backing away from her .

"Then-then let us forget, yes?" she sniffs, removing a hair strand that fell over her eyes . "Let's throw this all behind our backs . Let's start a new life . I can- I can move here . I will always be there for you . I promis-"

"Too late-" I shake my head . "You weren't there when I needed you the most . Now? Now, I've got Caesar . I've got a beautiful family that I plan on protecting at any cost . I have a daughter whom I'll always love and take care of . I do not need you . "

"But what about me?" she says, eyes tearing up again as any of ounce hope disappears from them . "I- I need you-" It comes out more like a question and I smirk .

"No, no- you need your fame, your work, your money and whatever the h.e.l.l you've been running on-" I raise my eyebrows . "You're just feeling bad right now . But give it a couple of days and you'll remember what you stand for . You don't stand for me . Your yearly visits are just to make you feel better about yourself-"

"I'm not going back to Paris . I promise-"

"We will see, Mama . You're stupid if you think I'm stupid to believe you . If you've been dragged through h.e.l.l, I had found myself Satan's best mate for a while-" I think of Lucien . "I know you . I know your likes-"

"I'm your mother . "

"Look-" I tell her firmly, moving away from her hand that wanted to find my arm . "I'm not wasting more time talking about this s.h.i.+t, so let me tell you what you'll do . You will be a pretty, nice thing to my husband and my daughter . Chatter a little, hold Augusta once or twice and then leave . Don't make it dramatic . Just leave like you've done every time . And then-" I raise a brow . "And then, we'll see about that 'promise' of yours . "

Mama gulps, a hand on her heart, but nods slowly .

"May I use the washroom, please?" she then asks me and I press a smile .

"Sure, you're most welcome . "

I then lead her to the washroom, ignoring her over-shoulder glances . I mean, didn't she know?

It's all a b.l.o.o.d.y act, right now .

She enters the washroom and almost immediately a wide-eyed Julius opens the front-door with a wildly barking poodle in one hand and a wailing Augusta in the other .

I grin . He wants to see Augusta, Ceasar . Its not fair- Samantha tells me for the hundredth time today as I take out the groceries from the cars back seat and resolutely walk by her, ignoring her . I fish for the front doors keys from my jeans pockets as I feel Samantha follow me . Julius Ceasar Alexander! she presses and I glance at her angry face over my shoulder . She has a hand on her hips with Augusta in her other arm, her floral skirt fluttering against her s.h.i.+ns from the cold breeze . I unlock the door and we both enter, she with a scowl on her face and I with an annoyed look . He will see her- What part of I-dont-want-him-to dont you understand? I finally say exasperatedly, swinging the door shut with a kick . It has been almost two weeks, Julius! He keeps calling every day to make sure shes alright . He clearly wants to see her! Her eyes are wide and accusing as the weak sun rays streaming from the huge window, give them a subtle glow . I do a double take and narrow my eyes at her . You talk every day? I then scoff and talk to the ceiling . Didnt know my wife and daddy were best mates! Stop being ridiculous, hes your father! I drop the grocery bags in the middle of the reception and walk past her to the kitchen . She leaves Augusta who was fast asleep and engulfed in a baby pink blanket on the sofa and follows me, still apparently having a lot to say . I sigh, pull the fridges door open and reach for the milk carton . I open it and she stops me . Drink from a gla.s.s, Julius- she warns, but I chug down what remains of the carton while locking her eyes just to infuriate her . She purses her lips and I chuckle at her reaction before aiming at the dustbin to throw it . It gets right in . What will I tell him next time he calls?! He wants to see his granddaughter and-uh- she then suddenly pauses and clears her throat . I cross my arms over my chest as she backs away against the marble counter . I notice a knife where she was going to plant her right hand, so I quickly reach for it as she inhales sharply at my sudden proximity . She then rolls her eyes . I already knew the knife was there . You neednt act so gentlem- Sure, sure . just keep going . Continue talking nonsense Im not going to changing my mind about . Im all ears, darling- I say leaning against the doorcase and balancing the knife on my index finger . Continue, love . And what? He wants to see me, for example? Samantha sighs, pinching her nose and glaring at me . Actually, yes! He is your father! He loves you- You act like you havent witnessed what happened to every and each one of us because of his s.h.i.+t- I say sternly, holding the knife properly now . The past- I groan, knowing what sh.e.l.l say and almost immediately Augusta starts wailing . See what you have done?! Samantha starts and my eyes widen Me? I feign surprise . I clearly was the one ranting like a lunatic- I hate you! she says between her teeth, stomping out of the kitchen and purposefully b.u.mping into me . I stagger a little under the force of her push and suppress a smile . Bulls.h.i.+t, you love me! I yell after her and I can see her giving me the finger before she picks Augusta . That is how our conversations are like ever since Augusta was born . She is almost always stressed, always complaining about something or another, but I understand- she is a new mother after all . I occasionally offered to help her with Augusta when I grew some b.a.l.l.s and wasnt afraid of holding her fragile, feather-light being in my arms . I even used to stay up in the middle of the night holding her to me as she breastfed Augusta . It is difficult . And h.e.l.l, it has only been two weeks . I push myself off the doorcase and walk to Samantha who was standing in the middle of the living room, rocking now-calm Augusta in her arms . She notices me approach her and gives me a dirty look before looking back at Augusta, ignoring me . I collapse on the sofa where I could watch her, spread my legs in front of me, tilt my head and give her a lopsided smile . She glances at me . Im angry . Youre not supposed to smile . I dont see you angry often- She rolls her eyes . You wouldnt want me to be- I dont give you the reason to- Yeah right . The milk cart-? Theres no way this is going to change . What about going out without a coat? In the coldest of days, Caes- She pauses to glance at Augusta who is s.h.i.+fting between her arms before looking up at me with a displeased look and whispering fiercely . The coldest of days! This shouldnt bother you . Im a grownup man . I know what to- No, you will end up catching pneumoni she glares . Then wholl care for you when Im busy with Gusta? I stare at her for a while amazed at how that manages to vex her so much . I sigh . You just get bothered by everything . Try relaxing, sweetheart . Heard that it works really well- Dont tell me- she starts and the doorbell rings . I quickly glance at the door, slowly sitting up straight . I then look at Samantha who has the same blank face as mine . Did you invite anyone over? I ask her curiously and she shakes her head slowly . Ill go check- she then says and I stop her . Of course not . Stay here . I approach the door and look through the magic eye to find a prestigious-looking, blonde lady standing with a red bag on her forearm and uh?- a -er- a . poodle? I bounce away from the door to find Samantha behind me . I -uh- think its one of your lady friends . Lady friends? She makes a face and I shrug before she decides to check for herself, handing me Augusta . s.h.i.+t! she then whispers roughly and I fling my gun out already from my back pocket . She notices it and shakes her head vigorously . s.h.i.+t, Julius, no . Its not like this . Its my mother! Its your mother? I repeat, shocked . Where the h.e.l.l did that come from? Oh my G.o.d, I forgot! she gasps, biting her lower lip and staggering toward the door . She always comes to check up on me every Christmas Eve! Does she even know I exist? I ask a supposedly easy question as the doorbell rings again . Samantha looks really nervous and fumbles with her fingers . No . I just managed to tell her that I moved out . Well, s.h.i.+t! s.h.i.+t, indeed- Just open the door . What will I tell her?! She freaks out and I scoff . Ill take the matter in my hands- Samantha gulps before she hesitantly and very slowly opens the door with a pressed smile . Samantha is still standing in the doorway but I can hear her mothers mature, melodic voice come from behind it . -it has been so long! she speaks with a strong French accent, repulsively reminding me of Lucien . Yes, Mama, please come in- You havent changed a bit- Samantha laughs nervously and I stand back ready to meet her . She steps in with her elegant white pumps paired with a plain white pantsuit and the poodles leash in her left red-gloved hand . She settles her little red bag on the hanger next to the door before she turns to me, taking off her sungla.s.ses in slow elegance and pus.h.i.+ng it over the wave of blond hair on top of her head . Her red-stained lips part on seeing me, her blue eyes- identical to Samanthas- widening a bit . Oh, I havent even shaved, I remember as I absent-mindedly touch my chin . Samantha is standing next to me, resting a hand on my right arm as I awkwardly adjust Augusta on my left one . The silence that fell on us seemed endless, only interrupted by a single bark coming from the neatly-groomed poodle, finally indicating- show time . I pull on my most charming smile, put out a hand and with my impeccable, English accent I tell her, Good afternoon, maam . I am Julius Caesar, your beloved daughters husband and this is Augusta, our first daughter and essentially your first granddaughter too . She closes her mouth and glances sharply at Samantha before looking back at me with a gooseb.u.mp-inducing glare . She eyes me up and down and scowls . Well, I am just wearing jeans, a grey s.h.i.+rt and a navy-blue flannel topped with a denim jacket . I mean, forgive me I was going out for groceries, I neednt look das.h.i.+ng . Hold my poodle, she then tells me, not even glancing at my direction before turning to her daughter . My reflexes help me catch the leash she thrusts in my chest as I tighten my hold around Augusta . We need to talk . Now- she then glances at me . Alone . She walks past us and absent-mindedly enters the nearest room- the dining room . Samantha and I look at each other with wide eyes, not knowing what to expect . Samanthas about to leave me, when I gently grab her wrist, pull her close and hastily press a kiss to her rose petals for lips . She blushes fiercely, mouths I love you before following her mother for what appears to be a heated conversation . With Augusta in a hand and the hyper, barking poodle in the other, I decide I need to go for a walk to give them the s.p.a.ce they need . And you might not believe it, but the moment I step into the park I got so used to (yes, that same park youve been reading about, Sharon), I b.u.mp into a person I almost forgot existed . What the h.e.l.l-? And then recognition slowly floods his face before he whispers in disbelief . Romeo? --- Samanthas POV . Mamas back is facing me as she holds onto a chair for dear life . I gulp, stand straighter and then reach for her shoulder . She instantly turns to me on my touch and looks at me with tear-filled, accusatory eyes . My heart decides to run a marathon with my rus.h.i.+ng thoughts and I wonder, I wonder who will win- a heart tender for a missed mother or a brain poisoned with an ugly truth . Mam? I dont feel as bad as I look- she tells me, wiping carefully at her eyes with a satin handkerchief . Its okay-its okay- Her face is red from all the thoughts filling and pressurizing her head and her eyes are swollen from all the unshed tears . I tilt my head and sigh heavily . Im sorry . Those two words hang in the air between us and I realize it feels pathetic to apologize for something I love- someone I love and would die for . Its stupid to apologize for a beautiful daughter . Its stupid not wanting to just laugh at her lost eyes with which shes staring at me as if shes looking at something she never knew . Well, she doesnt know me anymore . Im sorry I didnt tell you, but Im not sorry for any decision I have taken . I love Julius- Its just that- she starts, sniffing and pacing around, her right, still-gloved hand on her hips . -that you chose him . him over all the French boys I showed- You just said it, Mam I say almost rolling my eyes at how ridiculous she sounds to me right now . French boys . Julius is a man . An amazing man, actually . You know nothing about him- I say, anger slithering its way to my throat, tightening and tightening my voice . I clear my throat . I know nothing about you too apparently- she catches me off guard with the sharpness under her tone and this time I roll my eyes . So she comes here, out of nowhere, glares at my husband and acts like she gives a flying s.h.i.+t about my life when she has left me discarded and blind before . Ironic . Its not like you wanted to know and I stopped you from it- I almost hear Mama stop breathing . I never wanted to interfere . I thought you were content with being . alone- Bulls.h.i.+t, Mam I say, hurt by her excuse . No one is ever content with being alone . No one . Those who say they are- theyre just lying! I pause to catch my breath . Dont you say that . Dont you convince yourself that leaving me- like this . alone . with Papa or-or Amanda was for my contention . Dont you trick yourself- Mamas shoulders slump and the colour leaves her face . I thought you loved your father- A murderer! It just bursts out of me and Mamas hands freeze mid-movement before they drop dead to her sides . Samant- A murderer who was in love with you . So in love to the extent that he had no problem driving drunk to kill himself and his daughter . I was- I was blind Mama! I was blind and all you took care off was if your gloves matched your poodles leas.h.!.+ All of this and you expect yourself to know me?! I scoff and look away, feeling my hands shake with the anger trying to flood away from them . Everything I am saying is true . She has always been busy being famous and making money, being the successful fas.h.i.+on designer she is . I- she starts, gulping and looking down . Why did you divorce Papa? I ask her mercilessly and she brings her hands to her quivering lips . Samantha, please . This is- No, no- and dont you make that face like its all f.u.c.king stupid and Im just overdramatizing this! I then stare dead in her eyes . Theres no s.p.a.ce in my life for more of your intricate lies . Samantha, you wouldnt unders- h.e.l.l, yeah, I would! I say, rolling my hands into fists . I would understand very well that you left me with him because you knew he was a murderer . And while you were disgusted by him and didnt want anything to do with him . oh, yes, yes, even your own daughter, he was in love with you . And even though he- he- I pause and examine the guilty look she is wearing as she slowly shakes her head at the truth unravelling right in front of her eyes . -he had the power to kill you because you knew of his dirty truth, he never touched a hair of yours . And you just- you just fled! I move my arms around, trying to emphasize how pathetic this all is . And what did you do when you knew your daughter lost her vision, huh? What did you do?! Samantha, dear- You left me your phone number! I yell at her, no longer able to carry the fury poisoning my soul . And what did you do when my f.u.c.king father died? What did you do?! Im so so sorry- she starts sobbing and I look at her in disgust . You got me Danielle, Mama . A stranger . And it was mere luck that she didnt kill me in the middle of the night when I couldnt see s.h.i.+t to defend myself- I pant, running my fingers in my hair . So dont you come here and tell me how you dont know me . Dont you tell me youre not happy with what Ive chosen for myself . Dont act like you even tried to choose something for me . Mamas hands drop from her mouth to her chest as tears flow down her eyes . Baby, Im so so- You should know when sorries mean s.h.i.+t . You should know when they can actually fix anything . Because now? This sorry? It means nothing . It means nothing at all . What- what do you want me to do right now? she asks breathlessly, choking on her tears . Act like you always do! Act too busy for your daughter . Smile your stupid, fake smile, then leave- I spit out the words as she looks at me with disbelief . You have changed- It takes a truth when your whole life has been a lie for you to change . You wouldnt know . Mama gulps, holds her hands together and apparently decides to approach me . I furrow my eyebrows at her but she doesnt stop . When shes a few inches away from me she starts talking . I am not going to apologize because I know youre right, but- she locks my eyes and shakes her head . You havent the slightest clue where Ive been . What has happened to me . I was dragged into and out of h.e.l.l with your father . It was just- she waves her hands and breathes out through her mouth . -it was tempting to completely to cut him out of my life- You left me- I left you because I hated you- she spits out and my heart is still beating the same . I hated that you had to be there, serving as a reminder to the greatest mistake of my life . And I know- it was selfish, but honey, I was devastated by what I had witnessed . I look away disgusted by her audacity to say all this just like that . Honey, he wanted me to join him- she blurts out and I stare at her in disbelief . Hed make me watch him do all-all- she gasps, shaking her head . -all the torturing he did . To kids . Kids, Samantha! And oh- she pauses to wipe some more tears . Those poor little boys . Lucien and Esteban- Wait- I quickly stop her with a curious look on my face . How do you know their real names? Your father trusted me . Hed talk non-stop about his wicked plans- the deep web and Id have to listen- she says . Id have to listen or Im as good as dead . Or at least that was what I thought . He was a murderer, Samantha . A murderer . I grimace at the thought . Your father is the sickest b.a.s.t.a.r.d Ive ever known . And his death is a blessing from G.o.d- That doesnt f.u.c.king explain why you didnt come for me when he died . It doesnt explain the disappointment in your eyes right now- I tell her, pursing my lips and she blinks at the ceiling, her hands on her neck . It doesnt, baby, it doesnt . I dont think anything will- she says, shaking her head and I look at her like Im not surprised . I know . Baby, I ruined your life- No, you really didnt- I reply nonchalantly . You dont hold that kind of power . Im glad- she says and I scoff . Im glad you found your happiness through it all . Even- she frowns . Even after all what you mustve been through . Even if it wasnt how you expected it to be . Im glad . I curtly nod in her direction and she sighs before forcing a smile on her lips . Id like to talk with Julian an- Julius . Julius- she repeats, slowly, not daring to look me in the eyes . Im sorry . Id love to look at my- my granddaughter . And your wedding pictures . And maybe celebrate Christmas with you? I watch her try to be nice and my heart gets stuck in a dilemma . Should I believe her and let her in? After all, I have witnessed what Papa was capable of- it couldnt have been easy for her . Or should I just hold a grudge against her for not taking me away from him and protecting my innocence? Please, Samanth she begs, her eyes red-brimmed and bright from the tears . It just occurs to me that- I say faintly . That if I hadnt confronted you, this wouldve never happened . If I hadnt told you that I know the truth, nothing would have ever changed . I mean- I then sharply divert my gaze to her . I mean, what do you think? I was protecting you- she tries to say . The truth wouldve hurt you . You loved your father . I couldnt tell you- Yeah, so you leave me with a madman . Yeah, yeah, some protection youre talking about- I sigh, crossing my arms across my chest . No- she breathes out . I always called you . When your father wasnt with you, Amanda was there for you- Until she decided to pa.s.s on her job to Danielle, right? I mean, h she mustve gotten bored of taking care of an incapable twenty-three-year-old! Why havent I considered that?! I mean h.e.l.l, her own mother is bore- Samantha, never! Your actions spoke volumes, Mama! I almost shout, but keep it together, knowing that there is no point now . It is all in the b.l.o.o.d.y past . Samantha, you were brought up as a soft girl, she says, her hands shaking . I knew you wouldnt handle a truth like this- You did not bring up a soft girl- I smirk and shake my head . Oh, ha, not in your wildest dreams . Mama, you brought up a wolf . What are you even saying? I can see- she says dolefully . Youre very strong . Yes, thanks to you . Mama looks down, at loss of words before she looks up at me and holds my gaze . I dont want what we have to go down the drain . I dont want to lose you- You already lost me the moment you became a liar in my eyes- But I cant live without you- she says, approaching and taking my cold hands in her gloved ones . Im your mother, Samantha . And I love you . Not a day has pa.s.sed without me thinking about you and the life Ive managed to give you- Life? You mean, money . The money you managed to give me, thinking itd be enough to suffice for what Ive lost- Your words are killing me- The truth is killing you! I snap, removing my hands from her grasp and backing away from her . Then-then let us forget, yes? she sniffs, removing a hair strand that fell over her eyes . Lets throw this all behind our backs . Lets start a new life . I can- I can move here . I will always be there for you . I promis- Too late- I shake my head . You werent there when I needed you the most . Now? Now, Ive got Caesar . Ive got a beautiful family that I plan on protecting at any cost . I have a daughter whom Ill always love and take care of . I do not need you . But what about me? she says, eyes tearing up again as any of ounce hope disappears from them . I- I need you- It comes out more like a question and I smirk . No, no- you need your fame, your work, your money and whatever the h.e.l.l youve been running on- I raise my eyebrows . Youre just feeling bad right now . But give it a couple of days and youll remember what you stand for . You dont stand for me . Your yearly visits are just to make you feel better about yourself- Im not going back to Paris . I promise- We will see, Mama . Youre stupid if you think Im stupid to believe you . If youve been dragged through h.e.l.l, I had found myself Satans best mate for a while- I think of Lucien . I know you . I know your likes- Im your mother . Look- I tell her firmly, moving away from her hand that wanted to find my arm . Im not wasting more time talking about this s.h.i.+t, so let me tell you what youll do . You will be a pretty, nice thing to my husband and my daughter . Chatter a little, hold Augusta once or twice and then leave . Dont make it dramatic . Just leave like youve done every time . And then- I raise a brow . And then, well see about that promise of yours . Mama gulps, a hand on her heart, but nods slowly . May I use the washroom, please? she then asks me and I press a smile . Sure, youre most welcome . I then lead her to the washroom, ignoring her over-shoulder glances . I mean, didnt she know? Its all a b.l.o.o.d.y act, right now . She enters the washroom and almost immediately a wide-eyed Julius opens the front-door with a wildly barking poodle in one hand and a wailing Augusta in the other . I grin .