Sir Apropos - Tong Lashing Part 18

He stared at me for some time. I couldn't begin to imagine what he was thinking, his face was such a deadpan. Finally he said, "I am Go Nogo."

"I see."

"What are you doing here?"

"Well..." I wasn't sure where to begin. "I... was told I should bathe, and after having my things put in my room, I was brought here to--"

"What are you doing here, in the Forbidding City?" he interrupted.

"Oh. That. Well... I was sent here by a great king as an emissary..."

"No."

"No?"

"A king is one who operates from a level of strength," said Go Nogo. "He would choose as his emissary one who reflects that strength. He would not choose one who is lame of leg, for that would senda message to all who saw him that the king is weak as well."

"Really," I said, my mouth drawn tight. "And yet the Imperior, who draws his inspiration from the G.o.ds, accepts me at my word. Are you saying that the Divine One is wrong and you are right? I would hate to think you would try to elevate yourself above him. Seems rather insulting. Even dishonorable. You might be asked to apologize by gutting yourself like a trout."

His face darkened even more than it had been, and I knew I had him then. "I would gladly lay down my life in the service of the Imperior."

"If laying down your life is what you're interested in doing, then judging by what I've seen, you're working for the right fellow. By the way, if I may ask, what do you do here? What's your function, I mean."

And suddenly I was submerged.

Go Nogo had reached across the tub underwater, quick as a swamp snake, and grabbed my ankle.

Considering my relative vulnerability at that moment, I suppose I should have been grateful that my ankle was all he was grabbing. But I was hardly in a position to express grat.i.tude for anything, considering he had pulled me sharply toward him. I slid right off the seat and it was only by a miracle that I didn't strike the back of my head upon it as I went under.

I tried to sit up, but was unable to as his hand shoved down on my chest, pus.h.i.+ng all the air out of my lungs. I grabbed at his forearm, tried to push him away, but wasn't at all successful. I might as well have been trying to uproot an oak tree. a.s.sa.s.sin! He's an a.s.sa.s.sin! An a.s.sa.s.sin from the Forked Tong! I'm going to die. Underwater, in a d.a.m.ned bathtub, at the hands of a stranger, I'm going to die. Well... at least I didn't have to have s.e.x with the Imperior...

Suddenly the pressure was gone. Instantly I splashed upward, and when my head broke the surface, great geysers of water blasted out of my lungs. I thought I was going to accomplish the singular feat of drowning while above the surface of the water, but thirty seconds of violent coughing, spasming, and heaving later, I had managed to get all the water out of my chest.

The bathing wench was kneeling nearby, her hands daintily placed upon her thighs. Go Nogo was seated on the opposite side of the tub, his face as inscrutable as it had been before. And standing nearby, her hands on her hips, was Mitsu. She was wearing a plain white kimono and was looking far more like a female than when I'd first met her.

"Are you quite through, Go?" she demanded.

"What the h.e.l.l did you do that for?" I said. Actually, "said" may be too generous. I managed to get the sentence out one or two words at a time in between gasps.

"A warning."

"Doesn't anyone around here believe in just saying what's on their mind instead of trying to kill somebody or making sure they kill themselves?! Why is everything life-and-death with you people?"

"Life and death are intertwined," said Go Nogo. "To accept the way of one is to accept the inevitability of the other. It does not matter when death comes. Only how one dies is of consequence." "All right, well I'm casting a vote right now for in my bed of old age!"

He snorted disdainfully at that, and then rose from the tub, at which point I was able to see for myself just why he would hold me--and probably a good deal of the rest of mankind--in disdain.

Mitsu barely afforded him a glance. These people were amazingly blase about nudity, which was interesting considering I hadn't seen any such att.i.tudes among the farmers back in Hosbiyu. And considering the attractive figures of some of those farm girls, they couldn't have gotten me to leave in any manner short of swordpoint if they'd had such customs.

Go Nogo picked up a robe from a peg where it was hanging nearby, and draped it around himself.

"Remember my warning," he said. Then he turned, bowed once to the princess, and walked out with a swagger that was almost as impressive as the rest of him.

"He's an a.s.sa.s.sin!" I said the moment he was out of earshot. "He would have killed me if you hadn't--"

My voice caught. Princess Mitsu had divested herself of her robe and was now standing naked as her birthday. Her b.r.e.a.s.t.s were quite small, almost childlike. The rest of her figure, though, belied the notion that she was in any way immature. The only thing that managed to draw my attention away from the more traditional eye-catching parts of her body was the fascinating tattoo she had on her right arm which stretched to her upper shoulder. It was a dragon (no shock there), its tail encircling down to her elbow and its head coming up and over her shoulder. Its mouth was open and it had a long, fierce, red tongue extended angling down toward her...

Quickly I looked away again.

Several bathing maidens had entered and were was.h.i.+ng her down with cloths. She looked rather bored. "He wouldn't have killed you. He simply becomes overenthusiastic sometimes." Then I heard her chuckle from behind me. "You know, this is the first time you've lowered your gaze from me. Do you have a problem with naked women where you come from?"

"Not under certain circ.u.mstances. But these are not those."

"Ahhh. You a.s.sociate the naked body of the opposite s.e.x with intercourse, yes?"

"And you don't?"

She shook her head as she gestured for the maidens to step aside, and she approached the tub. My mind flew back to the last time I was in a tub with a naked woman. It had been the Lady Kate, back when I was peacelord, and a good time was had by all. Then I suddenly began to feel a certain degree of urgency in my loins, stemming from both my recollection of times past and what was occurring now. I came to the realization that if I didn't get the h.e.l.l out of the tub at that moment, my condition would reach the point where exiting the tub and displaying my "enthusiasm" would simply prove far too embarra.s.sing.

And I did not want to take any chance of anything happening with Mitsu in the tub. The circ.u.mstances were very different from what had transpired between Princess Entipy and myself, but there were enough similarities that I wanted to steer very clear of any possible repet.i.tion. To say nothing of the fact that her father was a crazy man who thought that requiring people to kill themselves was a perfectly acceptable way to conduct one's daily routine. I had no desire to be added to that rapidly expanding list of corpses. I lurched to my feet, moving quickly, turning my back to Mitsu. My back, admittedly, was also naked, but it was less inflammatory. I splashed out onto the floor and my slick feet went out from under me, causing me to fall flat. This was one occasion I didn't mind, however, since it helped conceal that which I far preferred to keep to myself.

There was amused laughter from Mitsu and the other women, but I didn't care. I quickly got my robe around me, and draped a towel around my middle for good measure. With a sigh of relief, I got to my feet and leaned against the tub.

Mitsu was in the middle of the tub, looking very relaxed. She was regarding me with a raised eyebrow. "Are you quite all right?" she inquired.

"As right as I can be considering someone was trying to kill me less than a minute ago."

"I told you, he was just warning you. Go Nogo takes his position very seriously."

"And what position is that?" I demanded, grabbing another towel and drying my hair. "Lord high executioner?"

"No. Head of security."

"Wonderful." I stared at her more openly considering she was submerged from the neck down. "So you wandered about and your father objected."

"He objects to anything I do that would be akin to what a man does," she replied airily. "He believes females should know their place. Do you?" she asked.

I shrugged. "I don't even know what my place is. I wouldn't presume to tell someone else to know theirs. And how did you get together with Mordant?"

"Mordant?" She raised the other eyebrow, both of them meeting somewhat near the top of her forehead.

"The drabit. You know... the small dragon..."

"Oh. Yes." She made a casual, dismissive gesture. "He caught my fancy in the circus cage. I decided it was unfair such a creature should be imprisoned. So I decided to free him. Simple as that."

I knew perfectly well it wasn't that simple. The princess may have been many things, but a skilled liar was not among them. But there was no point in pressing her on it.

"I am very impressed, by the way," she said.

"Oh. Well," I cleared my throat, not knowing whether to feel pride or self-conscious. "I mean, the water was just a little bit cold, but I'm flattered that you would--"

"With the way you handled my father," said Mitsu.

"Oh."

"Earlier. The manner in which you manipulated my father's be liefs, played to his sense of G.o.dlysuperiority. That was very deft. You might fit in here after all."

"I'm just a visitor," I said, shaking my head vigorously. "And, considering what transpired here minutes ago, not even all that welcome a visitor at that."

"You should not sell yourself short, Apropos... all evidence to the contrary." When she saw my face fall upon that comment, she laughed lightly. "You are a very serious individual. You need to become more relaxed. Do you see that table?"

She pointed to a table standing nearby. I nodded. "Go lie down flat upon it. Remove your robe. Keep the towel around your middle if you wish."

"I really don't see how..."

"Do as I say," she said firmly.

Deciding it wouldn't be wise to press matters with her, I limped over to the table, removed my robe (but maintained the towel, as per her suggestion), and lay flat.

I had no idea what to expect. Then I heard the quick movements of bare running feet, and one of the bath maidens landed feet-first upon my back. I gasped in surprise. She weighed almost nothing; her bones must have been hollow. "Now... now just a minute," I started to say.

Then she started to move across my back, digging her toes in, loosening the muscles. I couldn't believe it as the tension began to seep out of me.

"Feeling a bit more at ease, Apropos?" inquired the princess.

I tried to reply, but all I was able to manage was an inarticulate "ggrrcchh."

"There are many techniques, many aspects of Chinpan of which you can avail yourself. If you do not do so, it would be a great tragedy."

I should have just lain flat and enjoyed it. Instead I forced myself to look over in her direction as she soaked in the tub. "And if I fail to do so... will I be required to kill myself?"

She looked puzzled. "No. Why would you?"

"Why was that young woman?"

"Oh." She seemed to have forgotten about her. "Yes. Well... she was required to take my place. The Imperior can't very well be executing, or demanding ritual suicide of, his only daughter, now, can he?"

"Doesn't it bother you that your actions cause others to suffer?"

"Does that never happen where you come from?"

"No!" Then I paused and amended, "Well... royal families do have whipping boys. When young princes misbehave, the whipping boys are flogged since the persons of royalty are sacrosanct. But...that's different... and they don't kill the poor b.a.s.t.a.r.d..."

The girl on my back placed her toes on the back of my neck, and started to manipulate something within between her toes. I felt a jolt of energy that seemed to originate at the bottom of my brain and ran through all the way to my feet.

"And if two kings are not able to get along? If they have disputes over borders or some such, and declare war upon each other?" asked Mitsu. "Are not soldiers summoned to serve as proxies, to fight and die in the name of a dispute that the rulers simply couldn't be bothered to settle in a less terminal way?"

"You're distorting it, Princess..."

"Am I? Seems to me I'm putting things perfectly accurately, and you simply don't wish to acknowledge that."

"It is pointless to continue this discussion, Mitsu. I do not wish to offend you, but fear if we keep on talking about it, then sooner or later I will."

"As you wish," she said diplomatically.

Truthfully, I really didn't want to risk angering her. But even more important, I didn't want any more distractions from the astounding things the incredibly light woman was doing to my back. I allowed myself to succ.u.mb to the pure pleasure of it. The next thing I knew, the bathing maiden was shaking me gently.

I had fallen asleep, and was feeling tremendously rested. I looked around. The princess was gone.

The other maidens were gone. Only this one remained. I had half turned over and the towel had fallen away. She was regarding me with interest, and then she said very politely, "s.e.x now?"

"What's your name?"

"Timtup."

"You know what, Timtup? Life's too short not to be polite," I said, and accommodated her.

When I returned to my quarters some time later, I almost jumped twenty feet in the air when a soft voice said from overhead, "I wouldn't leave my weapons alone next time."

I spun in a circle, nearly falling over, and then looked up. Hanging in the rafters overhead, dangling by his tail, was Mordant.

"Where the h.e.l.l have you been?!" I demanded. Even as I spoke, I glanced in the direction of where I had laid down my weapons. They were exactly as I had left them. "And what have you gotten me into?"

"Gotten you into?" retorted Mordant, dropping onto my bed. His tail whipped back and forth lazily as he curled up upon the pillow. "May I remind you that you're the one who wanted to come to Taikyo."

"And you're the one who knew we were traveling with a d.a.m.ned princess." "What, you don't like her?" He sounded faintly sarcastic.

"Oh, I like her just fine for someone who stands there and lets her servants be butchered and then walks around a.s.s-naked, prepared to climb into a bath with any stranger she happens to encounter.

She's just wonderful."

He c.o.c.ked his head and said, "You don't understand this culture, Apropos. Until you do, don't presume to pa.s.s judgment on it."

"I'll pa.s.s judgment on anything I d.a.m.ned please, Mordant, thank you very much. You could have told me she was a princess, you know."

"And if I had?"

I sat down on the far edge of the bed, studying him carefully. "I don't want to get into 'if you had.'

What I want to know is why you didn't."

"She was traveling incognito. I decided to respect her privacy." He dropped his head onto his forepaws, which were crisscrossed one atop the other.

"I see. And is there anything else you're neglecting to tell me? Any other major piece of information I'd benefit from having?"

He yawned widely, his long tongue flicking in and out repeatedly as he did so. "None that springs readily to mind. Other than that the Skang Kei family have obviously targeted you for some reason."