Chantecler Part 9

[_A long grating noise is heard within the house Crrrrrrr, then._]

THE CLOCK Cuckoo!

THE GREY HEN [_Leaving her hiding-place and running towards the cat-hole._] His voice!--Now through the kitty's little door I finally shall see him!

[_She thrusts her head into the hole. The_ CUCKOO'S _call is not repeated._] Oh, deary, deary me! I am too late! [_Calling._]

Bis! Encore!

CHANTECLER [_Turning around at the noise._] Eh?

THE GREY HEN [_Desperately, with her head in the cat-hole._] He has stopped!

THE BLACKBIRD It was the half-hour.

CHANTECLER [_Close behind the_ GREY HEN, _abruptly._] How does it happen, my love, that we are not in the fields?

THE GREY HEN [_Turning, scared._] Goodness gracious!

CHANTECLER What are we doing, my love, in the cat-hole?

THE GREY HEN [_Upset._] I was just taking a peep--

CHANTECLER To see whom?

THE GREY HEN [_More and more upset._] Oh--!

CHANTECLER [_Dramatically._] Who is it?

THE GREY HEN Oh--

CHANTECLER Confess!

THE GREY HEN [_In the voice of a woman caught in guilt._] The Cuckoo!

CHANTECLER [_Amazed._] You love him?--But wherefore?

THE GREY HEN [_Drops her eyes, then with emotion._] He is Swiss!

PATOU A bubble!

THE GREY HEN He is a thinker. He takes his airing--

CHANTECLER She loves a clock!

THE GREY HEN --always takes his airing at the same hour, like Kant.

CHANTECLER Like what?

THE GREY HEN Like Kant.

CHANTECLER Did one ever--! Out of my sight!

THE BLACKBIRD Trot, Kant you?

[THE GREY HEN _hurries off._]

CHANTECLER Here's a pretty--Wherever did she learn that Kant--?

PATOU At the Guinea-hen's.

CHANTECLER That foolish old party of the crazy cries and the white-plastered beak?

PATOU She has taken a day.

CHANTECLER A day off, do you mean?

PATOU No, a day at home.

CHANTECLER A day at--Where does she receive?

THE BLACKBIRD In a corner of the kitchen-garden.

PATOU Under the auspices of that strawman with the unsavoury old top-hat.

CHANTECLER The scarecrow?

THE BLACKBIRD Yes, his being there makes the affair select.

CHANTECLER [_Bewildered._] How is that?

THE BLACKBIRD Don't you see? He scares off all the puny fowl--. Poor relations are not wanted at a function.

CHANTECLER So the Guinea-hen has a day!

PATOU [_Phlegmatically._] A bubble!

CHANTECLER A balloon!

THE BLACKBIRD [_Imitating the_ GUINEA-HEN.] Mondays, my dear--

CHANTECLER And what do they do at that feather-brain's parties?

PATOU Cluck and cackle. The Turkey-c.o.c.k airs his social gifts, the Chick gets into society.

BLACKBIRD [_Imitating the_ GUINEA-HEN.] From five to six--

CHANTECLER Evening?

PATOU No, morning.