Writing for Vaudeville Part 71

EEL: What, one of them record shysters? Eighty years old and never won a case. No, thanks, Inspector. I'll plead my own case; then I got at least a chance to beat this rap.

DUGAN: You'd have a swell time pleading your own case.

EEL: Yes, and believe me I'll spring a sensation when I open up.

I'll show up some of this rotten graft. I'll bust "The System "

to smithereens. Dugan, I won't be railroaded--(EEL crosses in rage L. to Dugan.)

INSPECTOR: Bradley! hold your tongue, you've said enough.

EEL: I ain't said half what I'm going to say--

INSPECTOR: (Fiercely.) Not another word out of you. Do you understand?

EEL: (Coming down.) All right, Inspector. I don't want to get anybody that's right, in bad, but I've got something up my sleeve.

(DUGAN laughs and goes up stage.) (GOLDIE enters door L. brought in by O'MARA. She is startled at seeing EEL, then pleadingly:)

GOLDIE: Billy! (EEL turns and is about to go to GOLDIE but stops.)

EEL: You snitched again! You snitched again! (Running L. to GOLDIE with arms up as though to hit her with hand-cuffs. GOLDIE s.n.a.t.c.hes his upraised arms.)

GOLDIE: Oh no, Billy! True as G.o.d I didn't!

DUGAN: (Aside to INSPECTOR.) Let's leave them alone, they'll talk.

(MRS. WORTHINGTON, INSPECTOR, DUGAN and O'MARA exit door R.)

GOLDIE: (Still holding EEL'S arms.) Why, I'd rather die than snitch.

EEL: (Jerking away and going R.) How about two years ago?

GOLDIE: I didn't even then when you left me dying. They framed you while I was in the hospital.

EEL: Who?

GOLDIE: Dugan and his--

EEL: s.h.!.+ Oh if I could only believe you, kid.

GOLDIE: Look at me, Billy. Do you think I'd snitch?

EEL: (Looks at her, then pushes her head roughly back.) No, I can't believe you did it, kid. (EEL takes GOLDIE in his arms.)

GOLDIE: (Sobbingly.) I'm so glad to see you again.

EEL: Me, too, kid. Gee, your head feels as natural on my shoulder as a piece of pie on a prize-fighter's knife. (EEL takes GOLDIE from his shoulder and says inquiringly.) But what are you doing here?

GOLDIE: (Drying her tears.) Bein' held on suspicion, but they can't get met I'm protected. Dugan's got to--

EEL: Nix on the crackin', don't shoot your trap, they're leavin'

us together for a stall. Talk about something else. (EEL turns R. and GOLDIE grabs his hand.) Do you still love me?

GOLDIE: Always.

EEL: Will you marry me?

GOLDIE: If you want me to.

EEL: You know I do. (Looks around suspiciously.) Say, if I beat this rap (DUGAN comes, on door R., and stands at upper end of desk), let's get spliced and go out West, turn over a new leaf, and begin life all over again, far away from the subway world where the sun of happiness is always clouded and the ace of joy is coppered. What do you say?

GOLDIE: Gee! them's the kindest words you've ever said to me. (Then lightly.) And I'll march down the aisle with you, with my hair in a braid.

EEL: Great!! Gee, I wonder if we could make our get-away now. (Both start for door C., but DUGAN, who has come down behind them, stops them.)

DUGAN: How do you do! Would you like to take a little trip out in the air with me?

GOLDIE: Say, I'd rather be home with the headache, than at the Movies with a guy like you. (Crosses L.) (INSPECTOR enters door R. going behind desk.)

INSPECTOR: Well, have you got anything to say to me before I lock you up for the night?

EEL: Nothin', except that it's a frame-up, and we defy you to go through with it.

INSPECTOR: Take 'em down.

DUGAN: (Above door L.) Come on. (EEL starts for door L.)

GOLDIE: Good-night, Inspector.

INSPECTOR: Good-night.

EEL: (Turning at door L.) Same from me, Inspector.

INSPECTOR: Good-night, Bradley. (DUGAN shoves the EEL roughly off.

GOLDIE circles around and switches in front of DUGAN.) By the way, Goldie, what's the number of your flat on East Broadway?

GOLDIE: (Hesitatingly at door L.) 327, Inspector.

INSPECTOR: Thanks.

GOLDIE: (Impudently.) You're welcome. (Exit door L. followed by DUGAN.) (O'MARA locks door after them.)

INSPECTOR: (Calling O'MARA.) O'Mara!

O'MARA: (At door L.) Yes, sir.

INSPECTOR: I want a wire installed at 327 East Broadway.

O'MARA: (In front of desk.) Goldie's flat?

INSPECTOR: Yes. I'm leaving it to you to see that the orders are carried out to the letter.