The Complete Plays of Gilbert and Sullivan Part 167

[Dance]

JANE So go to him and say to him, with compliment ironical--

BUNTHORNE Sing "Hey to you-- Good-day to you"-- And that's what I shall say!

JANE "Your style is much too sanctified -- your cut is too canonical"--

BUNTHORNE Sing "Bah to you-- Ha! ha! to you"-- And that's what I shall say!

JANE "I was the beau ideal of the morbid young aesthetical-- To doubt my inspiration was regarded as heretical-- Until you cut me out with your placidity emetical."

BUNTHORNE Sing "Booh to you-- Pooh, pooh to you"-- And that's what I shall say!

Sing "Booh to you-- Pooh, pooh to you"-- And that's what I shall say!

JANE BUNTHORNE

Sing "Hey to you -- good-day to you"-- "Hey, Sing "Bah to you -- ha! ha! to you"-- Good-day Sing "Booh to you -- pooh, pooh to you"-- Bah.

And that's what you should say! ha! ha!

Sing "Hey to you -- good-day to you"-- "Booh, Sing "Bah to you --ha! ha! to you"-- pooh-pooh Sing "Booh to you"-- Bah.

And that's what you should say! And that's what I shall say!

"Bah, bah," "Booh, booh,"

And that's what you should say! And that's what I shall say!

"Booh, booh," "Bah, bah,"

And that's what you should say! And that's what I shall say!

BUNTHORNE I'll tell him that unless he will consent to be more jocular--

JANE Sing "Booh to you-- Pooh, pooh to you"-- And that's what you should say!

BUNTHORNE To cut his curly hair, and stick an eyegla.s.s in his ocular--

JANE Sing "Bah to you-- Ha! ha! to you"-- And that's what you should say!

BUNTHORNE To stuff his conversation full of quibble and of quiddity, To dine on chops and roly-poly pudding with avidity-- He'd better clear away with all convenient rapidity.

JANE Sing "Hey to you-- Good-day to you"-- And that's what you should say!

BUNTHORNE Sing "Booh to you-- Pooh, pooh to you"-- And that's what I shall say!

JANE BUNTHORNE

Sing "Hey to you -- good-day to you"-- "Hey, Sing "Bah to you -- ha! ha! to you"-- Good-day Sing "Booh to you -- pooh, pooh to you"-- Bah.

And that's what you should say! ha! ha!

Sing "Hey to you -- good-day to you"-- "Booh, Sing "Bah to you -- ha! ha! to you"-- pooh-pooh Sing "Booh to you"-- Bah.

And that's what you should say! And that's what I shall say!

"Bah, bah," "Booh, booh,"

And that's what you should say! And that's what I shall say!

"Booh, booh," "Bah, bah,"

And that's what you should say! And that's what I shall say!

[They dance off, L.]

[Enter DUKE, COLONEL, and MAJOR, R. They have abandoned their uniforms, and are dressed and made up in imitation of Aesthetics. They have long hair, and other signs of attachment to the brotherhood. As they sing they walk in stiff, constrained, and angular att.i.tudes -- a grotesque exaggeration of the att.i.tudes adopted by BUNTHORNE and the young LADIES in Act I.]

[Enter DUKE... enter MAJOR... enter COLONEL, Att.i.tude. They walk to C.]

No. 16. It's clear that mediaeval art (Trio) Duke, Major, and Colonel

ALL It's clear that medieval art alone retains its zest, To charm and please its devotees we've done our little best.

We're not quite sure if all we do has the Early English ring; But, as far as we can judge, it's something like this sort of thing: You hold yourself like this, [att.i.tude]

You hold yourself like that, [att.i.tude]

By hook and crook you try to look both angular and flat [att.i.tude].

We venture to expect That what we recollect, Though but a part of true High Art, will have its due effect.

If this is not exactly right, we hope you won't upbraid; You can't get high Aesthetic tastes, like trousers, ready made.

True views on Medieavalism Time alone will bring, But, as far as we can judge, it's something like this sort of thing: You hold yourself like this, [att.i.tude]

You hold yourself like that, [att.i.tude]

By hook and crook you try to look both angular and flat [att.i.tude].

To cultivate the trim Rigidity of limb, You ought to get a Marionette, and form your style on him [att.i.tude].

[Att.i.tudes change in time to the music.]

COLONEL [att.i.tude] Yes, it's quite clear that our only chance of making a lasting impression on these young ladies is to become as aesthetic as they are.

MAJOR [att.i.tude] No doubt. The only question is how far we've succeeded in doing so. I don't know why, but I've an idea that this is not quite right.

DUKE [att.i.tude] I don't like it. I never did. I don't see what it means. I do it, but I don't like it.

COLONEL My good friend, the question is not whether we like it, but whether they do. They understand these things -- we don't.

Now I shouldn't be surprised if this is effective enough -- at a distance.

MAJOR I can't help thinking we're a little stiff at it. It would be extremely awkward if we were to be "struck" so!

COLONEL I don't think we shall be struck so. Perhaps we're a little awkward at first -- but everything must have a beginning.

Oh, here they come! 'Tention!

[They strike fresh att.i.tudes, as ANGELA and SAPHIR enter, L.]

ANGELA [seeing them] Oh, Saphir -- see -- see! The immortal fire has descended on them, and they are of the Inner Brotherhood -- perceptively intense and consummately utter.

[The OFFICERS have some difficulty in maintaining their constrained att.i.tudes.]

SAPHIR [in admiration] How Botticelian! How Fra Angelican! Oh, Art, we thank thee for this boon!

COLONEL [apologetically] I'm afraid we're not quite right.

ANGELA Not supremely, perhaps, but oh, so all -- but!