The Complete Plays of Gilbert and Sullivan Part 7

ALL (hoisting sail).

Then away we go to an island fair That lies in a Southern sea: Then away we go to an island fair, Then away, then away, then away!

(The men embark on the "Xebeque." Marco and Giuseppe embracing Gianetta and Tessa. The girls wave a farewell to the men as the curtain falls.)

END OF ACT I

ACT II

SCENE.--Pavilion in the Court of Barataria. Marco and Giuseppe, magnificently dressed, are seated on two thrones, occupied in cleaning the crown and the sceptre. The Gondoliers are discovered, dressed, some as courtiers, officers of rank, etc., and others as private soldiers and servants of various degrees. All are enjoying themselves without reference to social distinctions--some playing cards, others throwing dice, some reading, others playing cup and ball, "morra", etc.

CHORUS OF MEN with MARCO and GIUSEPPE.

Of happiness the very pith In Barataria you may see: A monarchy that's tempered with Republican Equality.

This form of government we find The beau ideal of its kind-- A despotism strict combined With absolute equality!

MARCO and GIUSEPPE.

Two kings, of undue pride bereft, Who act in perfect unity, Whom you can order right and left With absolute impunity.

Who put their subjects at their ease By doing all they can to please!

And thus, to earn their bread-and-cheese, Seize every opportunity.

CHORUS. Of happiness the very pith, etc.

MAR. Gentlemen, we are much obliged to you for your expressions of satisfaction and good feeling--I say, we are much obliged to you for your expressions of satisfaction and good feeling.

ALL. We heard you.

MAR. We are delighted, at any time, to fall in with sentiments so charmingly expressed.

ALL. That's all right.

GIU. At the same time there is just one little grievance that we should like to ventilate.

ALL (angrily). What?

GIU. Don't be alarmed--it's not serious. It is arranged that, until it is decided which of us two is the actual King, we are to act as one person.

GIORGIO. Exactly.

GIU. Now, although we act as one person, we are, in point of fact, two persons.

ANNIBALE. Ah, I don't think we can go into that. It is a legal fiction, and legal fictions are solemn things. Situated as we are, we can't recognize two independent responsibilities.

GIU. No; but you can recognize two independent appet.i.tes.

It's all very well to say we act as one person, but when you supply us with only one ration between us, I should describe it as a legal fiction carried a little too far.

ANNI. It's rather a nice point. I don't like to express an opinion off-hand. Suppose we reserve it for argument before the full Court?

MAR. Yes, but what are we to do in the meantime?

MAR. and GIU. We want our tea.

ANNI. I think we may make an interim order for double rations on their Majesties entering into the usual undertaking to indemnify in the event of an adverse decision?

GIOR. That, I think, will meet the case. But you must work hard--stick to it--nothing like work.

GIU. Oh, certainly. We quite understand that a man who holds the magnificent position of King should do something to justify it. We are called "Your Majesty"; we are allowed to buy ourselves magnificent clothes; our subjects frequently nod to us in the streets; the sentries always return our salutes; and we enjoy the inestimable privilege of heading the subscription lists to all the princ.i.p.al charities. In return for these advantages the least we can do is to make ourselves useful about the Palace.

SONG--GIUSEPPE with CHORUS.

Rising early in the morning, We proceed to light the fire, Then our Majesty adorning In its workaday attire, We embark without delay On the duties of the day.

First, we polish off some batches Of political despatches, And foreign politicians circ.u.mvent; Then, if business isn't heavy, We may hold a Royal levee, Or ratify some Acts of Parliament.

Then we probably review the household troops-- With the usual "Shalloo humps!" and "Shalloo hoops!"

Or receive with ceremonial and state An interesting Eastern potentate.

After that we generally Go and dress our private valet-- (It's a rather nervous duty--he's a touchy little man)-- Write some letters literary For our private secretary-- He is shaky in his spelling, so we help him if we can.

Then, in view of cravings inner, We go down and order dinner; Then we polish the Regalia and the Coronation Plate-- Spend an hour in t.i.tivating All our Gentlemen-in-Waiting; Or we run on little errands for the Ministers of State.

Oh, philosophers may sing Of the troubles of a King; Yet the duties are delightful, and the privileges great; But the privilege and pleasure That we treasure beyond measure Is to run on little errands for the Ministers of State.

CHORUS. Oh, philosophers may sing, etc.

After luncheon (making merry On a bun and gla.s.s of sherry), If we've nothing in particular to do, We may make a Proclamation, Or receive a deputation-- Then we possibly create a Peer or two.

Then we help a fellow-creature on his path With the Garter or the Thistle or the Bath, Or we dress and toddle off in semi-state To a festival, a function, or a fete.

Then we go and stand as sentry At the Palace (private entry), Marching hither, marching thither, up and down and to and fro, While the warrior on duty Goes in search of beer and beauty (And it generally happens that he hasn't far to go).

He relieves us, if he's able, Just in time to lay the table, Then we dine and serve the coffee, and at half-past twelve or one, With a pleasure that's emphatic, We retire to our attic With the gratifying feeling that our duty has been done!

Oh, philosophers may sing Of the troubles of a King, But of pleasures there are many and of worries there are none; And the culminating pleasure That we treasure beyond measure Is the gratifying feeling that our duty has been done!

CHORUS. Oh, philosophers may sing, etc.

(Exeunt all but Marco and Giuseppe.)

GIU. Yes, it really is a very pleasant existence. They're all so singularly kind and considerate. You don't find them wanting to do this, or wanting to do that, or saying "It's my turn now." No, they let us have all the fun to ourselves, and never seem to grudge it.

MAR. It makes one feel quite selfish. It almost seems like taking advantage of their good nature.

GIU. How nice they were about the double rations.

MAR. Most considerate. Ah! there's only one thing wanting to make us thoroughly comfortable.

GIU. And that is?

MAR. The dear little wives we left behind us three months ago.

GIU. Yes, it is dull without female society. We can do without everything else, but we can't do without that.

MAR. And if we have that in perfection, we have everything.

There is only one recipe for perfect happiness.

SONG--MARCO.

Take a pair of sparkling eyes, Hidden, ever and anon, In a merciful eclipse-- Do not heed their mild surprise-- Having pa.s.sed the Rubicon, Take a pair of rosy lips; Take a figure trimly planned-- Such as admiration whets-- (Be particular in this); Take a tender little hand, Fringed with dainty fingerettes, Press it--in parenthesis;-- Ah! Take all these, you lucky man-- Take and keep them, if you can!

Take a pretty little cot-- Quite a miniature affair-- Hung about with trellised vine, Furnish it upon the spot With the treasures rich and rare I've endeavoured to define.

Live to love and love to live-- You will ripen at your ease, Growing on the sunny side-- Fate has nothing more to give.

You're a dainty man to please If you are not satisfied.

Ah! Take my counsel, happy man; Act upon it, if you can!

(Enter Chorus of Contadine, running in, led by Fiametta and Vittoria. They are met by all the Ex-Gondoliers, who welcome them heartily.)

SCENE--CHORUS OF GIRLS, QUARTET, DUET and CHORUS.

Here we are, at the risk of our lives, From ever so far, and we've brought your wives-- And to that end we've crossed the main, And don't intend to return again!

FIA. Though obedience is strong, Curiosity's stronger-- We waited for long, Till we couldn't wait longer.