Desire: A Novel Part 12

The woman raised her eyebrows at me, as she looked from Devon to myself obviously wondering what was going on. I blushed. I'd forgotten she was there.

Could I have made it any more obvious to her that something was going on between Devon and I? What I didn't get was why he didn't seem to mind her thinking something was up.

"I'm Detective Lacey Sanders." I shook her hand, waving her inside, "Devon's partner."

"Kait." I replied.

"We have some news. About your mother." I suddenly felt really guilty and a little embarra.s.sed. I had been so caught up in seeing him again, my mother was the last thing on my mind.

Of course he had news. Would he really drop by with his partner if it wasn't official? What did I think, she was going to watch TV while we had s.e.x in the kitchen?

Get a grip, Kaitlin.

"Oh," I bit my lip, "Do you want a drink?" Devon nodded, even though I'd directed the question at Lacey, and followed me into the kitchen.

"So?" I handed him one of the two cans of soda I had in my hand, and the other to Lacey. She thanked me and set the can aside.

He took the drink, taking a long gulp before wiping his mouth. He was avoiding my eyes. Anxiety rolled around the pit of my stomach, as I waited for him to speak. It must be bad if he wouldn't look at me.

"Forensics found traces of blood in your mother's car." He began. "That doesn't mean anything, it could have been from a nose bleed two months ago for all we know." I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"How much?" I asked. "Blood?" I added.

"Not much. Only a few traces." I nodded.

A few drops or a few buckets, to me blood was blood. Blood was never a good sign.

"Thanks for telling me. You could have called." I added. I was glad he was here, but things would have been much easier if he'd just called.

"It's protocol. Any information, big or small, we deliver in person." Well that made me feel good.

"Right, well I have things to get done before I pick up the kids." I stood up and led them to the door.

"Nice to see you again, Devon. Lacey, it was nice to meet you." I smiled warmly. Lacey smiled back, Devon followed her out. He raised his eyebrows, his gaze falling down to the cleavage spilling out of my singlet.

I smiled again, the same fake smile I'd used for Lacey.

Seeing Devon again had messed with my head, as had the news about mom. I didn't know how I felt about that. I'd spent so long getting over my childhood, and part of me didn't want to forgive mom for not believing me.

I struggled to feel over mom's disappearance. I felt for the kids, but for me I felt nothing. I was almost more shaken up about seeing Devon than I was about the news on mom. I felt the guilt creep into my mind again. I was a really bad person.

Now I was stuck with the dilemma of whether to tell Neri and Sam or not.

Grabbing my keys, I left the house and headed for the park.

The sky was overcast when I reached the track, with the grey clouds threatening to pour down rain at any moment. Stuff it, I decided. I was willing to risk a little rain in exchange for being able to clear my head. I had been running at the park since moving to Seattle. It was very picturesque, with lots of trees and a lake. Weekends it was overrun with families having picnics, but during the week, no matter what time I came I usually had it to myself.

I managed a good fifteen minutes before the clouds opened up on me.

Within seconds, I was drenched. Running for the shelter of a nearby covered picnic table, I waited for the worst to pa.s.s. I was beginning to regret not driving down, even though the park was only a ten minute walk. I'd managed not to think about Devon for the last half hour, but he had wormed his way back into my brain again, like some kind of flesh eating virus.

As if on cue, my phone vibrated, his name flas.h.i.+ng up on the screen.

"For G.o.d's sake." I muttered, pressing answer, "What?" I snapped.

"Nice to speak to you too." Devon said, amused.

"What do you want, Devon?" I sighed, annoyed. The rain had started to ease off, so I slid myself off the table, walking in the direction of home.

"I want to see you. Is that rain?" He sounded confused.

"Yeah. I went for a run, got caught in a thunderstorm." I shook my head. Why did that matter?

"Are you wet?" His voice lowered, and husky. Was he serious?

"Of course I'm wet, dips.h.i.+t. I got caught in a thunderstorm." I growled, glancing down at my singlet which was now clinging to me, "Was there anything else?"

"Come on, Kait. Let me see you. Come over tonight." He pleaded.

I almost relented. Almost.

"I can't. I have plans. Look, I'll call you later, okay?" I hung up before he could respond. I didn't have plans, but I knew what seeing him would lead to.

Chapter Eighteen.

To say I was glad for the night off work would be an understatement. After helping both Neri and Sam with their homework, I threw myself on the couch ready to indulge in an evening with the TV.

Ara was sitting across from me, texting away on her phone. Luke was back in the states next week, and Ara had been counting the moments until she got to see him again. I don't know how she did it. Being in love with someone who was not only thousands of miles away, but risking his life everyday wasn't something I could handle.

"Luke?" I asked. Ara nodded, a cheeky smile on her face, "How long is he back for?"

"Six weeks I think, then he is off again for another six months." She replied sadly. I whistled, shaking my head. She was amazing, being able to cope with him being away like that for so long.

"How do you do it?" I asked.

"Through a lot of phone calls, emails, and Skype." She laughed, "And of course, nonstop s.e.x when he is home." She added, her cheeky smile widening. I laughed, knowing that was no exaggeration either.

"So, how's Devon?" I made a face. "That good, huh?"

I shrugged, "It's nothing. There is nothing going on at all. Apparently it was just a one-time thing that shouldn't have happened."

"And I'm guessing those were his thoughts and not yours?" I nodded. Was it that obvious? "Did he actually say that, Kait?"

"He may as well have." I shrugged. I replayed our encounter again. "That to me screams not interested." I doodled circles on my jeans with my finger, "He came over today. With his partner. Work partner." I added, seeing Ara's eyes widen.

"Male or Female?"

"Female. Twenties. Pretty." I added. Ara screwed up her nose like she'd just smelt off milk. "They found blood in mom's car."

"Oh s.h.i.+t, Kait." Ara cried, jumping to her feet and enveloping me in a giant hug. "How are you?" I was silent for a moment.

"When I saw them, mom was the last thing on my mind. All I could think about was how much I wanted him." I whispered. I felt tears p.r.i.c.kle my eyes. I stabbed at my eyes, refusing to let myself cry. "My mother's missing, and I care more about how some boy treated me?"

"No, Kait, you're not doing this. You are not going to feel bad for not knowing how to feel about your mom. Just because you don't know how to show it doesn't mean you don't care." She added, her hand resting gently on my shoulder. Her brown eyes were filled with worry.

"I don't know whether to tell Neri and Sam."

"Sam, not so much, but Neri I think you should tell. If she finds out you knew and didn't tell her..."

Ara had a point. Neri was mature for her fifteen years, and she would be hurt if she thought I didn't think she could handle this.

"Why don't you call Devon?" Ara asked suddenly.

"Why?" I looked at her as if she'd grown a second head. Why on earth would I call him? That had to be the worst idea ever, and that was coming from the girl working in a brothel.

"I don't know. Ask him what he thinks about telling the kids. As in, how serious he thinks this information is."

"It's blood, Ara. I'd say it's pretty d.a.m.n serious." I grumbled. Ara held her hands up in defense.

"Just an idea, Kait." She gathered up her phone and laptop, "I have some studying to do for an exam. If you decide to go out anywhere, I'll be home." She wiggled her eyebrows, making me laugh.

Where the h.e.l.l did she think I was going to go? Did she think I was going to hunt him down?

I fiddled with my phone, wondering if Ara was right. If I called him, then that would tell me if there was any interest there. Even today, the way he looked at me sent my insides crazy. Finally, I gave in and texted him.

Do you think I should tell the kids about today?

I decided on a message because it was less confronting. I didn't want to call him, and embarra.s.s myself any more than I already had.

Want to grab a coffee with me?

h.e.l.l yes I did.

I responded with a simple yes. I didn't want to seem too keen.

Devon leaned on the porch, his arms crossed across his chest. He wore jeans that were fraying at the end, and a charcoal grey jacket over a black s.h.i.+rt. I could've quite happily spent the next few hours just staring at him, but that would've been creepy.

"Kait?" The sound of his voice brought me out of my daydream. I blushed. Why did he have this effect on me? "You ready?" He asked. I nodded and followed him to the car.

"Where are we going?" I wondered curiously.

He pulled the car out of reverse and headed off down the street. I watch as the identical houses pa.s.sed, each with the same manicured gardens, the same oversized garages, and the same picket fences.

"You wanted coffee." It was a statement, not a question, so I didn't answer. It still didn't really tell me where we were going, but I left it at that.

After fifteen minutes, we pulled up outside of an apartment block on the outskirts of the city. I looked around in surprise. No coffee houses. No diners. I looked at him questionably. A smile spread across his face.

"You didn't say where you wanted coffee." He shrugged, "I happen to have a state of the art espresso machine." He added, winking. I blushed, hoping he didn't think coffee was a euphemism for something else.

"Convenient." I muttered, climbing out of the car. I was not going to sleep with him. Not going to happen.

No way.

My resolve faltered slightly when I caught a glimpse of Devon's soft dark hair. I wondered what it smelt like. I could just imagine the scent of shampoo mixed with his natural smell...

Stop! Jesus Kaitlin, get a grip!

This was such a bad idea. No matter how many times I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him, it was like dangling a chocolate bar in front of a child. There was only so much I could resist.

Chapter Nineteen.

We reached the door, him walking in front of me.

Two steps lower than him, I found myself staring right at his a.s.s. My eyes widened as I took in the view. Taking a deep breath, I tried to control my strong desire to jump him.

Finally, the door was open and I was inside his house. I breathed a sigh of relief, not sure I could have handled staring at his a.s.s for much longer without doing or saying something stupid.

"The living room is through there." He pointed to his left. "Or you can come with me into the kitchen."

I eyed him suspiciously as a little smirk played on his lips. I couldn't tell if the kitchen remark was a reference to the other day at my house, or just coffee. "I'll follow you." I finally responded, my eyes narrowed. "Nothing s.e.xier than a man making espresso."

Really Kait? That's the best you have?

I wanted to hit my head against the wall. He at least looked amused as he took off into the kitchen shaking his head with me right behind him.

"Nice kitchen." I commented. That was an understatement. His kitchen was huge, with grey and white tones. All the latest appliances could been seen, all brand new. "Do you like cooking?"

"I do actually." He looked surprised by my question. "After a long day at work, it relaxes me. My job gets quite stressful, so it's good to have a release."

I'm not sure why, but I blushed. Again. Hearing him say the word *release' had my mind wandering to things that were much dirtier than cooking.

"So," I sat down on one of the three stools that lined the kitchen counter. "Do you think I should tell Neri?" I crossed my arms and leaned over the counter, stretching my hands flat against the marble surface.