Desire: A Novel Part 18

"s.h.i.+t!" I pulled it out to see who it was. Devon. I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. Ara strained to see what had caused my face to drop.

"Ignore him." Ara ordered, waving her hand.

"That's just it." I said through gritted teeth, "I can't."

"Oh. Your mom. Right. I guess that does make it hard. Why don't you go to the police station and request a change in detective?" I shot her a look. Was she serious? Apparently so.

"I couldn't do that to him, Ara. I know how much his career means to him." Ara threw her hands up in frustration. If I wasn't so frustrated myself, I'd have laughed. Finally, she was getting it. I couldn't avoid him, or ignore him, yet I couldn't have him either. I was already calling him before she could answer.

"Kait. Hi."

"Hi. You called."

"Yes I did." I closed my eyes and tried not to think of the wonderfully s.e.xy mouth his words were coming out of. Or the way his eyes would be staring right into mine if we were face to face. Or the way-Jesus Kaitlin, get a grip! "I wanted to see how Sam was doing."

"He is okay." I said, relieved. He was just calling to check on my brother. That was such a sweet, thoughtful thing to do. "Thanks for calling." I added, hoping he took the hint that I wanted the conversation to end here.

"I need to see you." Oh G.o.d. I willed myself to say no.

Just say it, Kaitlin. Two letters. NO "Why?" I almost whispered. Why couldn't I say no?

"Because I can't not see you." I knew I was falling. Ara stood in front of me practically whacking me with a pillow, her arms furiously flailing around. I braced myself for the barrage of hits.

"Okay. Come over."

"Seriously, Kait? Really? You're going to do this again?" I'd never seen Ara look so angry. What was her problem, anyway? What did my love life, or lack thereof, have to do with her?

"Looks like it, doesn't it?" I retorted, "I know, I know, but it's not that easy, Ara." Her face softened. She looked like she wanted to say more, but instead, she just took my hand and squeezed it.

"Just don't let him hurt you."

"I won't." I replied, wis.h.i.+ng I felt as confident as I sounded.

Ara had disappeared by the time Devon arrived. I had changed into a pair of jeans and a s.h.i.+rt. Actually I'd changed into close to fifteen s.h.i.+rts, the winner finally being an emerald green wraparound s.h.i.+rt that flattened my waist and showed a nice amount of cleavage.

I ran to the door when I heard him pull up outside. The last thing I wanted was Neri or Sam wandering around.

"Hey." Devon leaned on the door frame, looking way, way too s.e.xy for my liking. If he was planning on looking this good, anything could happen. As he walked past me I caught a whiff of his aftershave. I wanted to bury my face in his chest. I giggled to myself as I imagined his reaction to that.

"What's so funny?" Devon c.o.c.ked his head, amused by my outburst. I blushed, making him smile even wider. Great, now he probably thought I was thinking something dirty.

"Nothing to do with you." Good G.o.d, Kaitlin, just stop. I couldn't make it any more obvious it was about him if I tried. "Just go in." I said, pointing to the lounge room.

"So..." He stood in the middle of the lounge, his eyebrows raised. I sat down, hoping he'd do the same. He did.

"So what? You wanted to come here." I pulled my legs up under me, and sat my hands in my lap.

"I did." He leaned forward in his seat so that he was almost touching me. Having him this close to me wasn't making it easy for me to be strong, "I wanted to see you."

"Okay, well you've seen me."

"I haven't seen enough of you." I blushed, thinking back to the last few times we'd been together. What more could he possibly see of me. "You dirty girl, I didn't mean like that." The red in my cheeks extended up to my forehead.

"I wasn't thinking anything dirty." I protested, trying to defend myself. He smiled at me knowingly.

"Sure. I believe you." The smirk on his face said otherwise.

"Okay, so you want to see me, so see me." I spread my arms, gesturing to myself, "I can't do this, Devon. If you don't want all of me, then you don't get any of me."

"You think I don't want all of you?" He laughed, incredulous, "h.e.l.l, Kait, I'd love nothing more than to have all of you. All I'm asking is for you to wait." I breathed in sharply. He wanted me to wait for him? How long? A month? A year?

"You're asking me to wait for you?"

"I don't know what I'm asking. All I know is that all I think about is you, and I am constantly making up reasons so I can see you." I narrowed my eyes. I knew he was inventing reasons to see me. n.o.body could be that thorough. "I'm sorry, Kaitlin. I go crazy thinking about you." He spoke quietly. He stood up. I tried to read his expression.

Was it frustration I saw in his eyes? Sadness?

I pulled myself to my feet. I was so close to him, unbearably close. My mouth was only inches from his chin. I could feel his regrowth brush against my lip he was that close to me.

Closing my eyes, I breathed him in. The feelings I got from simply smelling this guy were crazy. I felt his arms curl around my back, his fingers tracing circles on my s.h.i.+rt.

"You drive me crazy. I can't keep having you, and then not having you." My voice was barely audible.

His hold on me tightened. His lips dipped down to meet mine. As much as I wanted to pull away, to break the hold he had on me, I couldn't. I kissed him back, tasting him with my mouth, a sense of urgency in my movements. He responded quickly, his kisses leading a trail down my neck. With a flick of his hand, my top began to unravel.

"I like this top." He muttered, that wonderfully s.e.xy smile spreading across his lips. He reached behind me, unclasping my bra, removing both pieces of clothing without breaking our kiss. His hand made its way to my exposed breast.

"You're so wonderful." I sighed, once again, losing myself in the moment.

"You're the wonderful one, Kait." He mumbled, nibbling at my neck, "I had better go." He kissed me on the forehead. As he moved away from me, I realized I didn't want him to go. As much as I hated myself for it, I wanted him now, even if it was only for tonight.

"Don't go."

He brushed my hair from the path of my eyes, and pulled me into another soul collapsing kiss, "I don't want you to wind up hating me. I think I should go." This time, I nodded numbly.

There was a good chance if he stayed, by morning I'd be cursing his name. "I will see what I can work out, Kait." I wasn't sure what he meant by that, but I nodded anyway. I walked him to the door, still standing there, door wide open as he drove away.

I trudged off to my room, pa.s.sing Ara's slightly open door on the way.

"He didn't stay?" She raised her eyebrows, surprised. I shook my head, and told her what had happened. "Probably a good thing, Kaitlin. At least until he works out what he wants." I nodded, and managed a small smile.

"Night Ara."

"Night."

Chapter Twenty-Nine.

"So, can anyone tell me what they think Abelson means by this phrase?" I tried to focus on anything but Professor Garland as I sat in the back of the auditorium. The problem was, if I thought about the cla.s.s, I thought about Charlie and work. If I didn't think about cla.s.s, Devon crept into my mind. At the moment I wasn't quite sure what was worse.

The cla.s.s dragged on, I fought the urge to fall asleep. I hadn't slept well in ages, and it was starting to show. Finally, it ended. I sighed and gathered up my things, das.h.i.+ng out the side door, pretending I didn't notice Charlie's gaze on me.

When I got home, I took the opportunity to catch up on the mound of was.h.i.+ng that had built up over the week. I loaded basket after basket onto the sofa, and sat there watching Days Of Our Lives as I folded. The doorbell sounded and I groaned. The last thing I wanted was visitors, and the only possible person I could think it would be was Devon. I was right.

"Seriously? Are you stalking me?"

"Stalking implies I'm hiding in your bushes with a pair of binoculars. I a.s.sure you I am not doing that." He glanced out at the front gardens, "Not that you don't have lovely manicured bushes." He said, a smirk on his face.

I blushed. Did he really just say that to me?

"This is actually more hara.s.sment than stalking." He continued, crossing his arms as he leaned against the bricks, a playful look in his eyes.

"Right, so you're hara.s.sing me, then." I grumbled, wondering why the h.e.l.l he was here.

"Well, hara.s.sment suggests unwanted attention. Do you like it when I pay you attention, Kait?" He raised his eyebrows and smiled at me. I rolled my eyes, refusing to let myself look at him.

"What do you want, Devon?" I muttered. His expression turned serious.

"Another chance?"

"Pardon?" I asked, not sure I'd heard him correctly.

"I want another chance. Another chance to show you how much you mean to me." He began. I stared at him, shocked. "Another chance to show you that I love you." He continued softly.

I continued to stare at him, not completely sure of what to say. How was I supposed to respond to that? Did I want to give him another chance? Yes, but I was terrified of him blowing that chance, leaving me more broken than I felt now.

"I don't know, Devon." I said quietly. "One minute you're out, the next you say you love me." I shook my head, not sure I could handle any more of this rollercoaster. "I need to think about this. I need to do what's best for the kids." I finally said, annoyed at myself for giving him hope. Or annoyed at myself for giving myself hope.

Devon nodded, his hand reaching out to stroke my hand. I closed my eyes, trying to keep my breathing steady, as his touch worked its magic on me. Within seconds, I was in his arms, his lips on mine, and I was lost in everything that was Devon.

"I need you, Kait." He murmured, between kisses. His hands moved under my s.h.i.+rt to my bare skin. I gasped, his hands were so warm. I reached up, wrapping my arms around his neck, losing myself in yet another kiss. "I need you." He repeated softly.

"Okay." I whispered, tears springing for the corners of my eyes. He pulled back, what I'd just said registering on his face.

"Okay?" He repeated, his brown eyes wide with antic.i.p.ation. I giggled.

"Okay." I nodded. I screamed as he swept me up in a hug that lifted my feet off the ground. "Put me down!" I screeched as he threw me over his shoulder. Laughing, I slapped his back, and kicked my legs. He slid me back down so my feet were on the floor, and I was right up against him.

"You're no fun." He mumbled, lifting my top over my head. I raised an eyebrow.

"Really?" I asked, c.o.c.king my head, as I unclipped my bra, "I'm not fun at all, hey?" He nibbled at my neck, his hands running up and down my back. I s.h.i.+vered, as my nipples hardened from his attention. He cupped a breast, lifting it slightly and taking my nipple between his teeth. I gasped as he bit down, not hard, but hard enough to for me to almost cry out. His mouth found its way to mine again, as I fiddled with the b.u.t.tons on his s.h.i.+rt.

I drove my hands over his bare chest. He shrugged off his s.h.i.+rt, his lips not leaving mine as he unbuckled his pants. He sprang free. I giggled at his readiness.

"A lesser man would feel threatened at your laughter." He mumbled, amused.

"I'm giggling because you're so turned on already." I said, laughing. He ran his hand up over my b.r.e.a.s.t.s.

"Are you kidding? All I have to do is think about you and I'm ready to go." He ripped down my skirt, grinning at the sound of the fabric tearing.

"That was a hundred dollar skirt." I protested, as he lifted me against the wall. "Oh!" I cried as he entered me. I wrapped my hands around his neck, gripping tightly, as he thrust his length deep inside me.

"I don't care about your d.a.m.n skirt." He laughed softly as he pushed himself deeper inside of me, "Kait, I love you." He gasped, kneeling down on the floor, one hand supporting me, the other up against the wall. I smiled as we sat in a heap on the floor.

"I love you too, Devon." I guided his face to mine, wrapping my lips around his.

Chapter Thirty.

I stood out the front of work for a good five minutes before going inside. It was hard to believe this would be the last time I was going to come here. While I wouldn't miss the s.e.x part of it, I had formed such great friends.h.i.+ps with Emily and Mauve that I was going to miss seeing their faces nearly every day. I'd considered staying on as only a receptionist, but thinking of the kids, I decided it was best for me to get a *normal' job.

I walked in, past a smiling Barry (Smiling? He never smiled!), through to the lobby.

I stopped suddenly, my blood freezing in my veins.

Charlie was here. Standing in front of the desk.

I had done all I possibly could to avoid Charlie in cla.s.s today, I'd honestly thought this was not something I was going to have to deal with.

In my perfect little mind Charlie would turn up and learn through Emily or Mauve I was no longer there, and move on to another girl. It struck me I would probably eventually have to talk to him, but I didn't expect that to be here and now.

"Charlie. Hi." I said as I walked into the foyer. He raised his eyebrows when he saw me.

"I was beginning to think you'd disappeared." He said dryly. I blushed. Little did he know how close he was to the truth.

"Well now that you mention it..." My voice trailed off as his eyes hardened. His expression caught me off guard. He looked really p.i.s.sed. I forced myself to continue.

"I am leaving. Or rather, I've left." The voice that came out of me was high pitched and squeaky. If he wasn't aware before just how much he intimidated me, he sure as h.e.l.l knew now.

"I need to spend time with my family." I said, trying to explain.

"Just like that, then?" He cut in. He stepped back, shaking his head. His expression full of anger. I backed up slightly, my heart pounding as he ranted on.

"I'm sorry." I whispered meekly. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Emily peering over the desk. She looked terrified. If it wasn't for the situation, I'd have laughed.