The Book Of Good Manners; A Guide To Polite Usage For All Social Functions Part 18

If a woman is without escort when supper is announced, she must rely upon attendants or members of the host's family.

At b.a.l.l.s and a.s.semblies where small tables are provided for the supper, the woman should not sit alone at a table with her partner, but she should have others present also.

DEBUTANTE. At a debutante's reception the first partner is selected by the mother, usually the nearest and dearest friend, who dances but once with her, and the others follow.

DANCES (FORMAL).

HOST. When supper is announced, the host leads the way with his partner, followed by hostess and escort, the rest following.

HOSTESS. She should limit the number of guests to the capacity of the house.

Invitations should include more men than women, for some men may not attend, and of those who do come, some may not dance.

An awning and carpet should be spread from curb to steps. The man stationed at the curb should open carriage doors for arriving and departing guests, distribute carriage- checks, and tell the drivers at what hour to return.

The servant opening the door directs the guests to their respective dressing-rooms.

A small orchestra should be provided and concealed behind palms or flowers.

In the absence of polished floors, carpets should be covered with linen crash, tightly and securely laid, in order to stand the strain of dancing.

Friends may a.s.sist in taking care of the guests, making introductions, etc.

SUPPER. Supper may be served at one large table or many small ones, as desired.

DANCES (INFORMAL). Dances of this character lack all possible formality. The invitations may be written or verbal.

Piano music is all that is required, played by one of the family or a professional.

Refreshments of a suitable nature are provided.

See also Chaperone. Dances.

DANCING.

INTRODUCTIONS. The man must be introduced to the woman, and should ask her for the pleasure of a dance.

MEN. A man should greet the host as soon as possible after seeing the hostess.

At any function where patronesses are present, a man should bow to the one inviting him, and give her a few words of greeting.

At b.a.l.l.s all men should dance, and those who do not, have no place there, though invited.

If a man comes alone and has no partner, he should seek hostess or a.s.sistants, and request an introduction to women who dance.

After a dance a man should take a short stroll about the room with his partner before returning to her chaperone. Before retiring he may converse with her in general terms, from which he should have refrained previously.

A man escorting one or more women should see that they are cared for when supper is announced.

A man in conversation with a woman when supper is announced, if she is not engaged, may offer to take her into supper. Her chaperone should be invited at the same time.

Introductions should be made as much as possible before the dancing begins.

If introduced to a young woman, and she is free of engagement for the next dance, the man should invite her to dance.

Before asking a chaperoned woman to dance, the man should ask permission of her chaperone.

A man should pay especial attention to the women of the house, and invite them to dance as early as possible.

A man should seek out those women who, for some reason, are neglected by selfish men, especially unmarried women, and invite them to dance.

Men should keep engagements a few minutes before each dance.

If for some good reason it is desired to break an engagement, it should be done so as to leave ample time for the other to secure a partner for that dance.

In round dances, the man supports the woman with right arm about her waist, taking care not to hold her too closely. His left hand holds her right one, both extended.

The woman should indicate when she desires to stop dancing.

All persons should be at a formal dance not later than half an hour after the hour set.

A man should secure his carriage-check.

It is safer to take wraps and coats to the house in case of accidents.

GLOVES. Gloves should be worn at formal dances, and should be put on before entering the room.

SHAKING HANDS. It is not customary to shake hands at formal dances.

SMOKING. Smoking should not be allowed in the dressing-room, but a special room should be provided. Men who dance should not smoke until leaving the house.

WOMEN. The time for the formal dance is indicated on the invitation, and all should be there not later than half an hour after the time set.

At private dances the maid takes and calls for the young woman in the absence of a male escort.

Young women should be chaperoned at all formal dances by their mother or others.

Introductions should be made as much as possible before the dancing begins.

DAUGHTERS.

CARDS. The card of the eldest daughter in society is simply Miss Wilson, and upon her death or marriage the card of the next daughter becomes the same. Where there are unmarried aunts and cousins having the father's name, only the eldest daughter of the eldest man can use the form Miss Wilson.