You'll Get Through This Part 11

The Prince Is Your Brother 1. "Big brothers can make all the difference" (p. 122).

a. In your opinion what are the defining characteristics of the ideal big brother (or sister)? Write down a few words or phrases.

b. What were your big-brother needs when you were growing up? In what situations did you most need someone who embodied the characteristics you just wrote down?

c. In these situations how did having-or not having-a protector affect you?

d. What are your big-brother needs now? When do you most often wish someone would be there for you in the ways you identified above?

2. Joseph and his brothers shared a dramatic and tender reunion (pp. 12324).

a. As you read the story, in what ways did you identify with Joseph, who was in a position of strength and had to choose whether or not to forgive?

b. In what ways did you identify with the brothers, who were vulnerable, depleted, and in need of forgiveness?

c. Read Genesis 45:115. What big-brother characteristics do you recognize in Joseph's treatment of his brothers?

3. The apostle Paul provided a compelling image of Christ as a brother: For G.o.d knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn, with many brothers and sisters . . .

Who then will condemn us? Will Christ Jesus? No, for he is the one who died for us and was raised to life for us and is sitting at the place of highest honor next to G.o.d, pleading for us. (Rom. 8:29, 34 NLT) Consider the last line of this pa.s.sage again, this time from The Message: The One who died for us-who was raised to life for us!-is in the presence of G.o.d at this very moment sticking up for us. (v. 34) a. The Bible includes many metaphors for Christ, including a shepherd (John 10:11), a vine (15:5), light (8:12), and bread (6:35). What unique insights does the image of Christ as a brother-especially a firstborn-provide about who he is?

b. In what ways, if any, have you experienced Christ as someone who cares for you as an ideal big brother would (refer back to question 1)?

c. How do you need Jesus to stick up for you, to plead for you in the circ.u.mstances you face now?

4. "You will get through this. Not because you are strong but because your Brother is. Not because you are good but because your Brother is" (p. 128).

a. In your current circ.u.mstances how do you tend to rely more on your own strengths or try very hard to be "good" in order to get through it?

b. What makes it difficult for you to rely on Christ for these things and to trust him to help you get through it in his way?

CHAPTER 13.

Good-Bye to Good-Byes 1. "Death is the most difficult good-bye of all" (p. 132).

a. To whom have you had to say a final good-bye? What additional losses deepened your grief after this person's death? The loss of hopes or plans for the future, companions.h.i.+p, holidays together?

b. Even if we haven't lost a loved one to death, suffering always includes some kind of loss. What losses have you incurred in the difficulties you're currently facing? The loss of security, a relations.h.i.+p, opportunity, employment, freedom, health, dreams?

2. "The rest of the world has moved on; you ache to do the same. But you can't; you can't say good-bye" (p. 135). Sometimes we refuse to say good-bye because doing so requires finally accepting that someone or something we love is irretrievably lost to us.

a. Of the losses you wrote down in question 1, which would you say you have yet to fully grieve and let go of?

b. What makes it especially difficult for you to say good-bye?

3. Take a few moments to immerse yourself in biblical truths about heaven. As you read through the following pa.s.sages in your Bible, write down the words or phrases that stand out to you.

Revelation 21:34 2 Corinthians 5:15 John 14:13 Philippians 3:2021 1 Corinthians 15:5054 Revelation 22:35 Psalm 16:11 1 John 3:2 Luke 22:2830 a. Briefly review the words and phrases you wrote down. What connections do you make between your words and phrases and the losses you identified in question 1?

b. What comfort or rea.s.surance did you find in those verses?

4. Author C. S. Lewis wrote: Both good and evil, when they are full grown, become retrospective . . . That is what mortals misunderstand. They say of some temporal suffering, "No future bliss can make up for it," not knowing that Heaven, once attained, will work backwards and turn even that agony into a glory.9 a. How do you respond to the idea that good grows-that it begins in an immature state and eventually becomes "full grown"? In what ways does it affirm or challenge your experiences?

b. Knowing that some things will reach their fully grown goodness only in heaven, how would you a.s.sess the development of goodness in your current losses or difficulties? Is it still hidden like a seed underground? Just beginning to sprout? Actively growing and bearing fruit?

c. What comes to mind when you think of heaven as "retrospective," working backward in your life? What is the first thing you hope will be transformed into glory?

5. The writer of Hebrews invites us to see ourselves as athletes in the stadium on race day (12:13). Imagine . . . as you circle another lap on the track in your long-distance race, the roar of cheers and encouragement from the crowd is nearly deafening. And your encouragers are not mere spectators but decorated athletes; they know what it takes not only to finish the race but to win it. These are among your biggest fans-Abraham, Sarah, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, and all who have finished their races ahead of you (chap. 11). All the people in the stadium are on their feet. Everyone is cheering you on: "Run! Run! Run!"

a. As you run your race, whose faces do you want to see in the crowd of witnesses surrounding you? Consider biblical characters who are meaningful to you as well as loved ones who have finished their races ahead of you.

b. What do you most need to hear from the people you see in your cheering crowd? What encouragement will help you keep running, fixing your eyes on Jesus and the joy set before you?

CHAPTER 14.

Keep Calm and Carry On 1. Joseph a.s.sumed G.o.d was in his crisis. "G.o.d preceded the famine. G.o.d would outlive the famine. G.o.d was all over the famine" (p. 145).

a. To what degree do you believe G.o.d is at work in the difficulties you face right now? Is your level of belief very low, moderate, high? How would you describe it?

b. What two or three factors most influenced your a.s.sessment? Factors might include past or recent events, experiences, relations.h.i.+ps, beliefs.

2. Max presented two stories about how G.o.d took something initially painful and used it for something extremely good (pp. 14647).

a. In your current difficulties what pain do you hope G.o.d will put to use for something good?

b. If you could know for certain that G.o.d would put your pain to use, how do you imagine it would change your current experience?

3. In the race to the South Pole, Roald Amundsen followed a plan of progressing fifteen to twenty miles a day regardless of the weather; Robert Scott followed no set plan, driving too hard on good days and stopping on bad days. In a book he later published about the race, Amundsen wrote, "Victory awaits him who has everything in order-luck, people call it. Defeat is certain for him who has neglected to take the necessary precautions in time; this is called bad luck."10 a. What similarities do you recognize between Amundsen's strategy and philosophy in conquering the hazards of the South Pole and Joseph's approach in conquering the crisis of the famine?

b. What do you think it means to "take the necessary precautions in time" when navigating a personal challenge or crisis? For reference, you might consider how Joseph did this not only when he had the power and authority to manage the famine but also how he did it when he was a servant in Potiphar's house and an inmate in prison.

c. Would you say you tend to be more like Scott, allowing good days and bad days to dictate your response, or more like Amundsen, making steady progress regardless of circ.u.mstances?

d. How does the story of the two men challenge you about your situation? How does it encourage you?

4. Management experts Jim Collins and Morten Hansen identified self-control as the primary distinguis.h.i.+ng characteristic of corporate leaders who succeed in turbulent times (p. 149). Author Dallas Willard defines self-control as "the steady capacity to direct yourself to accomplish what you have chosen or decided to do and be, even though you 'don't feel like it.'"11 a. As you consider the crises or challenges you face, where do you tend to lack confidence in your ability to exercise self-control? What factors make it especially difficult for you?

b. The promise of Scripture is that "G.o.d is working in you, giving you the desire to obey him and the power to do what pleases him" (Phil. 2:13 NLT). What desire and power do you need from G.o.d in order to resist the "I don't feel like it" impulse?

5. "You can map out a strategy. Remember, G.o.d is in this crisis. Ask him to give you an index cardsized plan, two or three steps you can take today" (p. 149).

a. Depending on where you are in your crisis or difficulty, a plan might be as short-term as how to navigate the demands of the next hour or as long-term as laying out weeks or months in advance. What time frame do you feel comfortable planning for right now? An hour, a day, a week, or longer?

b. What do you want to achieve in that time frame? Try to keep your goal specific and measurable. For example, "trust G.o.d more" is a good thing to do but a difficult goal to measure. A more measurable goal could be "Every time I feel afraid, I will entrust myself to G.o.d by writing a brief prayer in my journal."

c. What two or three steps can you take to progress toward your goal? If you need help to identify or follow through on the next steps, whom might you contact for help?

CHAPTER 15.

Evil. G.o.d. Good.

1. Listed below are ten biblical truths you've explored throughout You'll Get Through This.

* Nothing in my life is unknown to G.o.d (Ps. 139).

* G.o.d is near to me (Ps. 23:4).

* The Lord will work out his plans for my life (Ps. 138:8).

* G.o.d uses experiences of testing to train and prepare me (James 1:24); all tests are temporary (1 Peter 1:6).

* G.o.d is always at work in me (Phil. 1:6).

* I can wait for the Lord because he is faithful, merciful, and powerful (Ps. 130:57).

* The reward for perseverance is a glorious life (James 1:12).

* An eternal perspective puts my troubles in perspective (2 Cor. 4:17).

* Jesus advocates for me (Rom. 8:34).

* In G.o.d's hands intended evil becomes eventual good (Gen. 50:20).

a. How have these truths affected your view or experience of the challenges of life? In what ways, if any, would you say this represents a s.h.i.+ft from where you were at the beginning of the book?

b. Which two or three truths are most important to you right now? What need(s) do these truths meet?

c. Write a statement personalizing one or more of the truths that are important to you. For example: G.o.d already knows what I will face tomorrow. No evil in my life will prevent G.o.d from working out his plans for me. G.o.d is near to me when I am lonely. My suffering is not meaningless-G.o.d can use it to train me, and G.o.d will use it for good.

d. Consider how you might make your personal statement a concrete reminder of G.o.d's faithfulness to you. You could share it with two or three friends and ask them to e-mail or text it to you throughout the week. Memorize the scripture your statement is based on, or post it where you will see it daily. Print your statement on a small card, and attach the card to a potted plant as a visual reminder that your faith is growing even in this difficult season.

2. "When G.o.d gets in the middle of life, evil becomes good" (p. 155).

a. Make a simple, three-column chart on a piece of paper. Beginning with the first column on the left, t.i.tle the columns Evil, G.o.d, and Good.

b. In the first column write down two or three phrases with specifics about the challenge you're experiencing.

c. In the second column prayerfully record details of G.o.d's character that are relevant to this challenge.

d. In the third column reflect on any good that has come from G.o.d's activity in your situation. If you struggle to identify anything good, consider the good you hope will eventually come from what you are going through. An example follows.

Evil G.o.d Good I lost my job.

G.o.d is generous,

sovereign, and always

near. Changes do not

baffle or intimidate him.

I no longer attach my

sense of security to my