The Shades Of Time And Memory Part 4

'That of the one who wished Thiede dead.'

'Are you speaking of the Kamagrian parage, Opalexian?'

Cobweb said nothing. He went to squat beside the water and gazed down into it. Pellaz joined him, wondering if Cobweb could conjure pictures on the silvery surface.

'Thiede isn't dead,' Pellaz said, 'not in the normal sense.'

'He is strong,' Cobweb said, 'and he pa.s.sed from flesh with his inner eyes open. That is all. He might place his feet in many worlds, but he did not want this, Pell. Don't deceive yourself otherwise.'

'The Kamagrian did not wish Thiede dead. Opalexian is a recluse.'

Cobweb looked Pellaz directly in the eye. 'When Cal went to speak in the Hegalion that first time, he spoke of the Kamagrian. He told the Hegemony about them, these strange off-shoots of Wraeththu who refer to themselves as female. They had healed and trained him in the mystic arts. Why did Opalexian take it upon herself to do that? In sending Cal to Immanion, she changed the world. It was great shock, was it not...? For some...'

Pellaz sighed. 'I won't try to deceive you. I have known of the Kamagrian's existence since Flick and Ulaume went to live in Roselane. I visited s.h.i.+lalama often. You know that.'

'I have seen your visits there,' Cobweb said, 'and what you learned.'

Pellaz wasn't completely sure whether Cobweb was telling the truth or how much he really knew. 'Opalexian asked me to keep quiet, and I did,' Pell said. 'It was not yet time for Wraeththu to know about the Kamagrian. It was safer for everyhar to believe those who lived in Roselane were Wraeththu ascetics, a community of misfits. Opalexian feared persecution.'

'I wonder why? She is as powerful as Thiede was.'

'I respected her wishes. It did no harm. And since Thiede's disappearance, she hasn't come charging into Almagabra with a horde of Kamagrian Amazons, so we can only presume she still intends to keep a low profile. I asked her to come to Immanion and speak to the Hegemony, but she declined the invitation.'

Cobweb ignored these comments. 'Hara do not know the truth about your relations.h.i.+p with s.h.i.+lalama, do they? You still keep your silence.'

Pell looked away, sure that Cobweb would interpret correctly the lies in his gaze. 'It is irrelevant. My visits there were social, and primarily concerned Flick and Ulaume.'

'Do not look for Thiede in the parage, Opalexian,' Cobweb said. 'Along that path lies delusion and danger.'

'I have no intention of replacing Thiede, if that's what you're implying.'

Cobweb stood up and took a deep breath through his nose. 'Be careful, Pell. The winds of change are, in reality, a hurricane of transformation. It is all far bigger than you know and it has yet to begin.'

'What can you see? Tell me.'

'Shadows,' Cobweb said, 'and somewhere a leaking truth.'

'That's very helpful.'

'It's all I can say. You will soon know. Seek your brother.'

'Terez is in Immanion. What can he tell me?'

'Not Terez,' Cobweb said. 'He is your sword, Pell, and he is sharp. Use him wisely. Use him as your scout to find the one you really need.'

'Then, are you speaking of Dorado? Is he still alive? What do you know? Tell me!'

'Very little. A hunch. When Cal went to Immanion, the reverberations of what happened opened portals that are usually closed. I saw many things that night. And one of the things I saw, or felt, was your kin. He has greater strengths than you, in some respects, as all the Cevarros have their own particular strengths.'

'We are no longer Cevarros,' Pellaz said, 'we are har Aralis. But not Dorado. He went with the Uigenna. He cannot be part of what we are. He can only be part of our lingering problems in Megalithica.'

'Listen to yourself. What scorn! And from which tribe does your beloved Cal derive? Who incepted Terez?'

'That is different.'

Cobweb laughed. 'Of course. When you finally start using your brain, Pell, come and see me.'

'And what's that supposed to mean?'

'You'll know.'

Cobweb would say no more on the matter, but the conversation had a profound effect upon Pellaz. He had slept badly that night and his dreams had been disturbing, even though he could barely remember the details when he woke up. Now, as he rode through north Almagabra towards home, he contemplated the delights of running away into the wilderness and shunning all responsibility. He was tired. He needed a holiday, not the simmering cauldron of intrigue that comprised the Phaonican court. In his mind, he spoke to Thiede: have we come to this? No wonder you opted out.

There was, as he expected, no response.

Pellaz directed a command to his sedu: 'Open a portal, Peridot. Let's go home.'

The sedu shuddered with power and around them s.p.a.ce and time became unstable. Peridot leapt into the s.p.a.ces between the worlds. Pellaz thought he knew the otherlanes well. He knew their dangers and their delights. In some ways, they were the back alleys of creation, for in these places lost and desperate spirits gathered and lurked, their clawed and icy fingers ready to pinch a healthy living soul to grab some of its essence. Pellaz did not fear these sad ent.i.ties: they were no more threat to him than tiny insects. But what he did fear was the yawning black hole that opened up unexpectedly in front of Peridot, like a bandit in their path.

It was a portal, but it was also an ent.i.ty. Pell sensed Peridot's panic as the sedu struggled to veer past the manifestation. Pellaz could feel a strong force emanating from it that sought to suck them from their path. It was malign and it possessed intention. It had come for them specifically.

Pellaz thrust his hands deep into Peridot's astral being, reaching for his organs of energy. He fed the sedu with as much strength he could muster. Their combined power was just enough to allow them to sc.r.a.pe past the danger. As they pa.s.sed it, dark tendrils whipped out from it, like stinging vines.

'Out!' Pellaz directed the sedu. 'Now.'

Peridot needed no further encouragement. He burst from the otherlanes into earthly reality, transforming as he did so, back into a white horse. Pellaz saw that Peridot's neck was streaked with blood. Something had gouged him in the otherlanes. His own cheeks were stinging and the backs of his hands looked burned.

Once Pellaz reached his apartment in Phaonica, he went to his bathroom and immersed himself in scented water to soothe his hurts away. There was no longer any sign on injury on his body, but he ached inside as if his entire being was frozen. The journey home had unsettled him greatly, although now, back in the real world, he did not think the manifestation in the otherlanes could have been a deliberate attack. The otherlanes were infinite and Pellaz realised that even with his experience he really knew so little of them. It was probably an isolated incident, but in future, he'd take precautions before travelling. He saw no reason to confide in anyhar else about this.

Relaxing in a bath the size of a swimming pool, he watched the green light come down through the windows in the ceiling. He studied the marble columns around the room, the glint of bra.s.s and gold among the fixtures. How can this be? he wondered. Where did all this come from?

Phaonica appeared as if it had stood for thousands of years, yet it was comparatively new, as was most of Immanion.

We take so much for granted, Pell thought, but how did Thiede do this, really?

He didn't believe Thiede had built Immanion through the use of magic, which was a popular myth, but neither had it been built from scratch the hard way. So much of the Wraeththu world had arrived complete and developed, in little pockets around the globe. It didn't make sense, and to think about it was like trying to imagine the infinity of s.p.a.ce. It was as if the mind s.h.i.+ed away from it.

Ever since Cal had come to the city and endured his world-shaking fight with Thiede, Pellaz had felt unsafe. He missed Thiede: his mordant humour, his wry affection, but most of all the way he'd somehow kept the world glued together. Without him, it was in danger of falling apart. Pellaz did not think the Aralisians and the Hegemony were enough to keep it together. They were all so uninformed about what Wraeththu really was and how it had come to happen. One thing was certain: Pellaz har Aralis, Tigron of Immanion, felt more insecure and in doubt than he'd ever felt in his life. And where did the Kamagrian fit into the picture? They had found, trained and healed Cal, because Pell had asked their leader, Opalexian, to do it, but nohar knew that. He'd begged the universe to grant a wish, and it had, with the help of the Kamagrian, but there had been a high price attached to it. In retrospect, even Pellaz wondered whether he'd done right in asking for it.

He rose from the bath and wrapped himself in towels, leaving wet footprints as he padded back into his bedroom. He found Cal there, sitting on the bed. He did not look happy.

'Thanks for coming here so quickly,' Pell said. 'Galhea was... difficult. Ground me.'

Cal smiled. 'Welcome back. Come here. I've missed you.'

Pell sat beside him and laid his head on Cal's shoulder. 'Help,' he said. 'I feel strange.'

Cal embraced him and sighed deeply. 'You're not alone. Can we escape?'

'No.'

'I'm sorry.'

'Don't apologise. We knew we'd have to deal with... fallout.'

'Is it worth it to you?'

Pellaz kissed Cal on the mouth. 'It'll all work out.' He lay against Cal's side and for some time they were silent. Pellaz sensed Cal had something to say. He watched the flies circling high in the room and listened to the gentle clink of wind chimes on the terrace outside. This should be perfect.

'Pell,' Cal said. 'There's something you should know. I've spent some time with Rue.'

'Has he upset you?'

'Yes and no. It got out of hand.'

'I see. That doesn't surprise me.'

'I need to talk to you about it. We've been together several times and I don't know what I feel about it. Am I being disloyal?'

Pellaz sat up. 'I'm not going to be angry or hurt, Cal. It was obvious to me that Rue would want a piece of you. I won't give him the satisfaction of resenting it. I can't afford to give anyhar that power.'

'Can you stop hating him?'

'I meant what I said to you. Rue is your Tigrina as much as mine. Do as you see fit, but don't involve me.'

Cal laughed sadly. 'That's ironic. I said that to him too.'

'You might be a binding over a wound. In that, you will be doing me a service.'

'You know he still loves you, don't you? It shocks me how much.'

'He will say that to you, because to say otherwise would show him in a bad light.'

'You're wrong. I think you've misjudged him. When I first came here, the three of us stood together in the Hegalion, united. I thought that would be the beginning of strength. We need it. All of us. And love is strength.'

'In the Hegalion, I got carried away with the moment,' Pell said. 'I wish I could maintain it, Cal, but I can't. Too much has happened. It is difficult to misjudge somehar for over twenty odd years. You forget that life went on for me while we were apart.'

'Please think about it.'

'You be for Rue what I cannot. I'm generous enough to concede that.'

'It means nothing without you.'

Pellaz rose from the bed and went to his wardrobe, discarding towels along the way. 'Perhaps you should be more concerned about your son. I've spoken with Swift and Cobweb about him.' He pulled out some clothes and dressed himself. 'We think Tyson should come to Immanion, but I predict it won't be easy for you.'

Cal put his hands behind his head, stared at the ceiling. 'I haven't seen him since he was a tiny harling. It doesn't feel real. I remember going through it all, but now...'

'Difficult to imagine he sprang from you. The thought of you and Terzian together hurts more than anything Rue could do. You were making pearls with the Varr while I was almost senseless with grief over losing you. That's bizarre.'

Cal's tone was defensive. 'I can barely remember what Terzian looks like. I thought you were dead.'

Pell laughed awkwardly, in an attempt to lift the atmosphere. 'We don't have to discuss this. It's history. After all, I did the same thing with Rue. Let's drop it.'

Cal, clearly, didn't want to drop it. 'Grief over you did terrible things to me too. I was out of my mind. Tyson sprang from that, if anything. I'm not sure I want to go back to that dark place. Do I really have to see him?'

'He's yours, Cal, and none of what happened was his fault. I have an abysmal relations.h.i.+p with my own son, and it's not something I'd recommend. Build bridges.'

'Then you do the same.'

Pell closed the wardrobe doors carefully. 'What's on the agenda for today? I doubt I'm allowed the luxury of rest after my journey.'

'Later this afternoon, an audience in the Hegalion with delegates from various tribes, all wanting Gelaming aid. It's not essential you're present for that, as both Vaysh and I have been vague about your return time from Galhea. This evening, you're booked for the caste ascension of some high-ranking young har in the High Nayati. You offered to officiate last week, when you were drunk at that party, remember? The parents have requested, most humbly, that the Aralisians turn out in force.'

'd.a.m.n. Oh well. Let the unholy trinity of Tigrons and Tigrina do their worst. I'll pa.s.s on the delegates, though. Will you handle it?'

Cal jumped up from the bed and wrapped Pell in his arms. 'It's part of what I'm here for, isn't it? To take on some of the burden.'

Pellaz was a.s.sailed by a poignant image of Thiede that was accompanied by a pang of loss. He pushed both image and feeling away and held Cal close. 'Eat with me now. I'll tell you the horrors of Galhea.'

Pellaz usually enjoyed conducting caste ascensions, but that night his mind was elsewhere. He noticed that Caeru seemed to be aware of his distraction, because the Tigrina took over most of the officiating. Pellaz was so accustomed not to feeling grateful for anything Caeru did, he was quite shocked to discover this had changed. More than that had changed. Pellaz no longer sensed the hungry, desperate and often vicious need that normally oozed from Caeru like the essence of disease. He even smelled different. Caeru raised his arms to channel energy, and thereby raise the initiate from Neoma to Brynie level. For a moment he transformed into a skinny young har with ragged yellow hair and artfully ripped clothes. Pellaz could almost smell the perfume of a Ferelithian night, thirty years ago. Was Cal working some subtle magic? But there were more disorientating things to consider. As the ceremony progressed, Pell's mind kept flas.h.i.+ng back to the otherlanes journey, and the black ent.i.ty that had accosted him there. Sometimes, it felt as if that presence was still with him, tainting the sacred atmosphere of the High Nayati. Shadows pressed close and the vaulted ceiling was lost in darkness. Unearthly creatures might cl.u.s.ter there, whispering together.

Cal and Caeru intoned the words of the ceremony and the young har they initiated knelt before them, while Pellaz fought a battle with the demons of his imagination. He remembered the words that Cobweb had said to him, the mention of Dorado. Cobweb had implied Pellaz needed help: as usual, he'd concealed more than he'd revealed, but that was the way of seers. For the first time in years, Pellaz felt young and powerless. He did not have enough information, certainly not enough to feel secure, and had no wise har to go to for advice and a.s.surance. Despite Cobweb's warning, he found himself thinking of Opalexian. He wanted to speak to her.

The ceremony concluded, and the newly elevated har went home to celebrate with his proud parents. Tentatively, Caeru asked Cal and Pellaz if they'd like to come back to his apartment for supper. Cal did not answer, but directed his attention to Pellaz, who found himself consenting, simply because the thought of being alone was too unsettling. The unseen world was pressing close upon the membrane of reality. All of Pell's senses were heightened.

Before they left the High Nayati, Pellaz went alone to the shrine of the Aghama, Wraeththu's prime deity. Here, a bronze image of Thiede was lit by the soft glow of candlelight. Pellaz cast some grains of incense over the flame that eternally burned there. The perfumed smoke rolled over him. He prayed to Thiede for guidance, and perhaps there was a sense of a tall presence behind him, the ghost of a hand on his shoulder.

You are Tigron, said a voice in his head. Take control.

'I need you. There are cracks in the world.'

Fight darkness with light. Fight light with darkness.

Pellaz sighed deeply. For so long, everyhar had believed Thiede had influenced everything that happened to Wraeththu. He was their progenitor and their G.o.d. But he had also been a har of flesh and blood, and Pellaz could not believe one individual could have controlled so much. Had he forced Pellaz to create a pearl with Caeru against his better judgement? Had he influenced all that had happened to Cal? If it were true, then surely Pellaz would have sensed it in some way. He saw his own life as a pageant, parading across his mind's eye. Historic events, deep pa.s.sions, betrayals, victories. If Thiede was not the greater power, then what was?

A candle hissed in its own wax on the altar and Pellaz opened his eyes.

Now you begin to see...

'Speak to me.'

A pearl of light, the star of all stars... unexpected.

Pellaz held his breath. Dare he believe the words he heard in his mind came from anywhere but his own dreams and desires?

Do what is not expected of you...

'How can I find you?'