Nightmare - A Novel Part 11

A few minutes later, Pitr arrived and, activating his own grav unit, put his ultralight into hover mode. Mindful of his shoulder and the deadly drop below, Kendi carefully climbed out of his ultralight and into Pitr's. The c.o.c.kpit was tiny, built a single occupant.

"You'll have to sit on my lap," Pitr said.

Oh, gosh, Kendi thought. Do I have to Do I have to?

"I'll fly us back by anti-grav," Pitr said, "since these things aren't built to fly the regular way with more than one person."

The ride back was uneventful, if crowded. The close contact with Pitr seemed to dull the pain in Kendi's shoulder. They didn't speak-Pitr had to concentrate on flying. Once they landed, Kendi saw a stretcher hovering at the end of the runway. Two women in brown stood next to it. Tos.h.i.+ helped Kendi out of the ultralight. Blood dripped steadily down his shoulder.

"Are you all right?" he asked.

"People keep asking me that," Kendi said. "I could be better. My shoulder feels like it's on fire."

The two women turned out to be medical technicians summoned by Tos.h.i.+. They got Kendi to sit onto the floating stretcher and quickly cut off his blood-soaked s.h.i.+rt so they could examine him. He hissed when they pulled it away from his skin. Pitr hovered nearby, worry written all over his square features.

"Looks superficial," one of the technicians said from her vantage point behind him, "but painful. I think we can treat this here, unless you really want to go to the medical center."

Kendi thought about the way Mother Ara would react if she learned he was in hospital. "No," he said. "Do it here."

One of the techs pressed a dermospray against his arm. It thumped thumped, and Kendi's pain almost immediately vanished. The other technician washed the wound thoroughly and pressed the ragged edges together. Then she cracked open a plastic vial and spread the contents over Kendi's back and shoulder. It stiffened as she finished.

"This will hold the wound together and help it heal," she said. "You might have a scar, but only a faint one. I'm going to give you a dose of time-release antibiotic to keep out infection. If you get any symptoms such as nausea or diarrhea, call the medical center right away. Got it?"

"Got it," Kendi said.

The pair finished their ministrations, then piled their cases of medical equipment on a shelf beneath the stretcher and took it quickly up the stairs to the main monastery. It was only then that Kendi noticed how shaky his legs were. He started sinking to the ground. Pitr caught him before he could fall. Kendi leaned on him gratefully. Pitr's arms were strong, and Kendi liked having them support him. He wanted to lean his head on Pitr's chest, and wondered if Pitr would accept that.

Stupid thing to be thinking about, he thought. You almost died up there You almost died up there.

"It's okay," Pitr said soothingly. "Hey, it's all right. You're okay. Everything's fine."

"I'm all right," he said, still leaning. "I just ...felt a little light-headed for minute."

"I can understand that," Tos.h.i.+ said. "I've got a few dozen gray hairs myself, and I wasn't even up there." He paused. "I suppose I'll have to talk to Mother Ara about rearranging your schedule. You won't want to be flying again after-"

Kendi stiffened and came upright. "The h.e.l.l I don't!" he spluttered, and Pitr laughed.

"My G.o.d, Kendi, are you all right?" Mother Ara demanded.

"Yeah. Can I get a freemark or something every time someone asks that? I'll be able to buy my own s.h.i.+p in an hour or so."

"Kendi," Mother Ara said, "you scared the life out of me. My G.o.d, this isn't a good time to be flip. How do you feel?"

Kendi shrugged and winced. "Shoulder's a little stiff, but it doesn't hurt much, and they gave me some painkillers."

"I've already called the animal control board and let them have it," Mother Ara said. "The pheromone sprays are supposed to keep the dangerous dinosaurs away. I'm so sorry this happened. You must have been terrified."

"It wasn't your fault."

"I arranged the lesson," Mother Ara countered. "Pitr says you still want to fly, though."

"h.e.l.l, yes. It was great, Mother Ara." His eyes shone, the pain forgotten. "The best! I wish I could go every day instead of just once a week."

Mother Ara puffed out her cheeks. "I don't think my heart is up to that. Once a week is plenty."

They were on one of the monastery's innumerable balconies. Clouds had moved in, covering the sky in an even wave of gray. The balcony was off the beaten path, which meant they had a fair amount of privacy. There was a small bench, and a green ivy vine had twined itself around the balcony rail.

"Mother Ara," Kendi said abruptly, "if you like someone and you don't know if they like you back, what do you do?"

Mother Ara blinked. "What? Why? Who do you like?"

"I meant it just ...you know ...hypothetically and all."

"Oh. Hypothetically." Mother Ara drummed her hands thoughtfully on her knees. "Well, hypothetically hypothetically I think you-the hypothetical you-need to tell the person and see what happens. After all, if you don't say anything, the other person might never figure it out." I think you-the hypothetical you-need to tell the person and see what happens. After all, if you don't say anything, the other person might never figure it out."

"But what if it's the sort of person who might not like me-you?" Kendi asked. "What if there could be ...other factors."

"I'm not sure what you mean."

Kendi swallowed, suddenly wis.h.i.+ng he hadn't said anything at all. "I mean what if the other person might not be interested?"

"I still think you should speak up. Hypothetically, that is." She smoothed her brown robe and readjusted the gold amulet that hung on a chain around her neck. "The Awakening Festival is next week. It's a traditional time to start a romance. Maybe you'll see the person there and that would be a good time to bring it up."

"Not me," Kendi said. "Just a hypothetical me."

Mother Ara got up with a smile and reached for her handbag. "Of course. Exactly what I meant. And now we have a lesson in meditation to begin."

"Meditation?"

"If you want to enter the Dream, you have to learn to meditate," Mother Ara said. "It quiets the soul and allows the mind to float free. Very, very few Silent can get into the Dream without meditating first, and it requires a lot of practice. There are practice rooms in a section of the dormitory. Ready for your first lesson? I promise it won't be anywhere near as difficult as your flying exercise. It'd be a good stress-reliever, too."

"All right."

They went back to the dorm together, and Mother Ara showed Kendi to a hallway with a series of tiny, soundproofed rooms. Each room had a fainting couch, a chair, and only a teensy amount of floor s.p.a.ce. From her handbag, Mother Ara took a bracelet and her data pad.

"You can meditate any way you like," she said, "but most Silent like to lie down. Why don't you try the couch?"

Kendi obeyed. His shoulder twinged a bit as he lay down and he wondered if he should take another painkiller first. Nah. Best try it first without and see how it went.

Mother Ara fastened the bracelet around his wrist-it felt nothing like the shackle he had worn for three years-and activated her data pad. "The bracelet will monitor your life signs," she explained. "It also watches your brain patterns. It'll help me see what level of relaxation you get to and let me know if something is going wrong. There isn't much chance of that," she hastened to add, "because you're not trying to reach the Dream just yet and I'm not giving you any drugs. That'll come later."

"So what do I do?" Kendi asked.

"Just close your eyes and listen to my voice," she said. "Would background music or white noise help you relax? The computer can give us whatever you need."

"Drums," Kendi said. "I think I want drums."

"Baran," Mother Ara said, "play audio file 'Drums for Relaxation.' "

Immediately a soft 4/4 rhythm filled the room and Kendi shut his eyes. He was no stranger to meditation. The Real People Reconstructionists had been great proponents of it. As a child, Kendi had invariably found it boring and stupid, but now his views had changed. If this was the path into the Dream, the place where he might find his family, then this was the path he would follow.

He stirred a little on the couch. Lying down felt wrong for him, somehow. He couldn't get comfortable. He s.h.i.+fted again, trying to settle down. His shoulder twinged again.

Mother Ara, her voice soft, took him through a relaxation exercise, and he was surprised to note that it was similar to the ones the Real People had practiced. It involved relaxing each group of muscles one at a time. Mother Ara's voice droned on, telling him to empty his mind, let it go blank.

Kendi tried, but outside thoughts kept crowding in. The flying dinosaur's long beak flas.h.i.+ng down and causing white-hot pain. Pitr's hazel eyes filled with concern. The sound of frogs peeping in the night. Rebecca being towed away, her shackles glowing blue as she reached for Kendi one last time. Lying down, he felt strangely trapped. At last he sat up and yanked the bracelet off. The recorded drums continued to play.

"Sorry," he said. "I guess I can't concentrate."

Mother Ara looked surprised. "Actually you were doing pretty well."

"Are we done?" he asked, suddenly belligerent. "I'm tired. I want to go back to my room."

"Of course," Mother Ara said. "It's been a difficult day. I probably should have skipped this lesson. Why don't you go get some rest?"

Kendi nodded once to her and left without saying anything else.

CHAPTER EIGHT.

Pity me, for I am sick with love! Or am I sick of of it? it?

-Captain Irfan Qasad

A few days later, the morning found Kendi lying flat on his stomach on the dew-slicked roof of a certain section of the dormitory. He peered carefully over the gutter. His heart beat funny, like it was jumping around inside his chest. Coming down the balcony below him was a pair of students, one male, one female, both dressed in brown and wearing gold medallions. The boy, of course, was Pitr Haddis. But who was the girl walking with him? Tension knotted Kendi's stomach. The girl had a thin build and wore her hair in a brown ponytail. She said something to Pitr, who laughed, and the sound sent a thrill down Kendi's back even as jealousy began to bubble in his head.

Pitr. Pitr Haddis. Kendi spent entire evenings thinking of him, of his strong arms and handsome face, and when he lay awake on his bed that night staring into the darkness, he saw Pitr's eyes. He also spent considerable time thinking about what it all meant. To his astonishment, he wasn't upset or even surprised. Kendi supposed he had always known he was attracted to men. He just hadn't thought about it, not even after the final incident with Pup. Or perhaps because because of the final incident with Pup. Now, however, he found himself thinking about it quite a lot. of the final incident with Pup. Now, however, he found himself thinking about it quite a lot.

The sun began to warm the slightly slippery wooden s.h.i.+ngles of the slanted roof as Kendi watched Pitr. Kendi had found some basic information about him on the computer network. He was seventeen, Silent, and his room was in same wing of the dorm as Kendi's. Kendi had worked out the most likely route he would take to morning cla.s.ses and now he was waiting on the roof for him to pa.s.s by.

This is insane, he thought as Pitr drew nearer. he thought as Pitr drew nearer. I'm sitting on a roof trying to get a look at this guy just because I like him. What if I fall? I'm sitting on a roof trying to get a look at this guy just because I like him. What if I fall?

Naturally, the moment that idea crossed his mind, his hand slipped and he started to slide with dreadful inevitability toward the gutter. Kendi scrabbled at the s.h.i.+ngles, but his hands were sweaty and the s.h.i.+ngles were still slick from the morning dew. His upper body went over the edge, and with a yelp he managed to snag the gutter with one hand. The gutter wasn't strong enough to support his weight. It came away from the roof with the screech of half a dozen nails wrenched from wood. Kendi crashed to the balcony.

There was a moment of silence. Kendi lay on his back, stunned and in pain. His still-healing shoulder felt like someone had stuck a pitchfork through it. Two faces, one male and one female, poked themselves into his line of vision.

"Kendi?" Pitr said. "Are you hurt?"

Kendi wished with every aching muscle that he could sink into the planks and disappear. Humiliation burned in his face, and he wondered if Pitr would notice the difference in his complexion.

"Can you get up?" Pitr continued, holding out a hand. Kendi started to reach for it, then realized he was still holding a piece of the gutter. He hastily dropped it and grabbed for Pitr's hand. Pitr hauled him to his feet. Kendi felt the strength behind the move and it made his legs a little watery.

At that moment, Dorna and Mother Ara came hurrying around the corner of the dorm, and Kendi gave a mental groan. Mother Ara would certainly chew him out, and right in front of Pitr. How could it get worse? He was half tempted to leap off the balcony and get it over with.

"Are you okay?" the dark-haired girl asked. "What were you doing up there?"

Kendi ran a quick inventory. Nothing seemed to be broken, though he was sure a few bruises would make themselves felt tomorrow. "I-that is-"

Mother Ara got within speaking range. "My G.o.d, Kendi," she said. "You know the rules about climbing unsafe places. What in the world were you thinking?"

Kendi was all too aware of Pitr's eyes on him. He looked at the walkway and tried to think of something to say. His mind remained blank.

"It's my fault, Mother," Dorna said.

Kendi's mouth dropped open. He shut it quickly.

"Your fault." Mother Ara crossed her arms.

Dorna chuckled low in her throat. "I'm afraid I told him about how I used to watch the sunrise from the dorm roof and I ...I sort of ...told him it would probably be okay. I mean, with him being Australian Aborigine and all that, he does, you know, spiritual stuff with the sun."

"Is that true, Kendi?" Mother Ara said dangerously.

Dorna shot him a heavy glance. Something about her bothered him, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. At the moment, however, she was offering him an out and he gladly took it.

"Tribal thing," he said. "Greeting the sun. Right. I guess the roof isn't a good place to do it, huh?"

"You have the right of that," Mother Ara growled. "Good heavens, Kendi, think think before you act, will you? You could have been seriously injured, especially with your shoulder healing the way it is." before you act, will you? You could have been seriously injured, especially with your shoulder healing the way it is."

"Sorry," Kendi mumbled, and blushed again.

"You're from Earth?" Pitr said. "You never said that before."

"Uh, yeah. Australia."

"Nebular!" Pitr said. "I've always wanted to visit Earth."

"Kendi," mused dark-haired girl. "Is this the guy who was attacked on the ultralight a few days ago?"

"Oh, sorry," Pitr said. "Kendi, this is Trish, my twin sister. Trish, this is Kendi Weaver."

His sister! Kendi thought with a rush of relief. Kendi thought with a rush of relief. She's just his sister She's just his sister.

Trish stuck out her hand. "Nice to meet you, Kendi."

Kendi automatically shook it and yelped, the jolt exacerbating the pain he was already feeling.

"Whoops," Trish said. "I should have warned you that I'm Silent."