Women Of Courage: Daisies Are Forever Part 15

He kept his distance this time. "I'm sorry to have frightened you. I only meant to protect you from the shooting. That Russian aimed for whatever moved."

"It's what they do. What they always do. They want to kill and maim as many as possible." She clutched her hands to her chest.

"You are trembling. Come on. It's warmer on the train."

She gave her head a vigorous shake. "I'm not going back on there." She never wanted to be in such close quarters again.

"Why not?"

Bettina bent over, hands on her thighs. "She doesn't like crowds or small s.p.a.ces."

"Is that true?" Kurt towered over her.

Katya had to insert herself into the conversation. "Every bit of it. Dietrich is afraid just the same way. He always said it made his heart flutter. Where did that brother of ours go, anyway?"

The old woman spun in a circle. Gisela had told Audra about the Holtzmanns' brother. Katya searched for the sibling she would never find. Audra studied the tamped-down snow. "You will see him later."

"He always did like to go exploring on his own. He must have gone off to the Louvre."

Kurt blew out what sounded like an exasperated breath. "What about that farm? We have to get inside and get warm."

True. Darkness would soon descend and Bettina and Katya would die if they had to spend the night outside. Kurt stood and offered his hand to her. She declined the invitation, not wanting his touch to upset her balance, and rose to her feet on her own. The horde of people who had packed every available inch on the inside and outside of the train strung out across the ground.

She looked to the skies. All quiet. For now.

Kurt kept pace with her. "What about your family?"

Did he ever stop prying? "Why do you want to know?"

"I'm making idle conversation to pa.s.s the time."

"I don't like idle conversation."

"So I've gathered. I'm trying to change that."

"If I tell you about my family, will you stop asking questions?"

"Maybe. You told me you had nine siblings, but not how many of each." A hint of a grin softened his sharp features.

"I had six brothers and three sisters. Two of my brothers have died and one of my sisters." If she didn't think too much about what she said, it didn't hurt. "Does that satisfy your curiosity?"

"Older or younger?"

"All younger. I left home because there was nothing for me there. My parents were always busy with the other children. There was never enough to go around. I want more. So much more."

The cold wind whipped up, biting her face. What a wonder it would be to be warm. "Now you must tell me about your family."

A muscle jumped in his jaw. "A much quieter household. I am the only child."

"What did you do before the war?"

"You thought I was inquisitive."

"If I have to answer questions, so do you."

"I asked them. I never said you had to answer."

"Don't change the rules now."

He clamped his jaw shut, then released the pressure. "I was a pianist. Set to travel to New York to play in Carnegie Hall."

She stared at his empty sleeve. To go to New York, he must have been very talented. And now . . . He would never get to play there. Or anywhere. "New York. Broadway wouldn't be quite like Hollywood, but it would be good. I would like to go there one day too."

She almost missed the ladies' chatter when they fell silent. The cold made it too difficult to talk. They pa.s.sed old people and little children struggling in the snow. She wished she could help. It would be pointless.

Up ahead, against the pallid ground, she spotted a little blue pointed hat and a little red one, both familiar to her.

No adult held their hands. No one offered them a.s.sistance. Where was Gisela? What happened to them?

She pointed her mittened hand in their direction. "Look at those hats. Just like Annelies's and Renate's. I think they are alone."

Kurt shook his head. "That cannot be them."

"What happened to Gisela?"

"She wasn't in the same carriage. The two women who gave us the knockwurst pulled them inside the train."

Audra's stomach churned. She chewed on her bottom lip as she picked up her pace, Kurt following, dragging the old women with him. With each step, she grew more frustrated at their lack of progress. As they neared the farmhouse, she ran, heedless of the three behind her.

"Annelies." Audra tapped her shoulder.

The older child tugged on her sister's hand and pulled her in close, her gray eyes wide. Audra pulled her hood from her face.

A grin spread across Annelies's features like light at sunrise. "Tante Audra."

"Tante Audra." Renate mimicked her sister.

Kurt came puffing beside her with the old ladies. "Where are the women who took you on the train?"

Annelies's smile drooped and the suns.h.i.+ne fled. "They fell down in the snow and wouldn't get up."

Like so many others. The bitter cold killed them.

Audra turned to Kurt. He scrubbed his whiskers with his hand.

Annelies pulled on Audra's heavy blue skirt. "Where is Tante Gisela?"

Audra knelt so she was at eye level with the girl. "We know she was on the train but not in your carriage. She will catch up to you soon. Would you like to go with us to the farm to warm up?"

Her lip trembling, Annelies stared at Audra.

"Don't worry. Tante Gisela will find you in the barn, maybe even before we get there. I will hold your hand and watch out for you."

Annelies reached out her hand, encased in a blue mitten, hesitated a moment, then slipped it into Audra's. She clutched the child's fingers and picked up Renate.

The six of them tramped across the fields, tripping from time to time on the furrows hidden below the white blanket. Annelies lifted her short legs as high as she could, but their pace slowed as she tired. Renate fell asleep on Audra's shoulder.

She had attempted to sound cheery and optimistic for Annelies's sake, but Audra worried about the tiny odds they would find Gisela in the mob. And what about Josep? The train left a swarm of people on the platform as it pulled from the Danzig bahnhof.

What would she do with the kinder if they didn't find Gisela? Or if Gisela wasn't alive? Audra had no idea where to take them. Gisela had mentioned she was headed to Berlin, but beyond that, Audra didn't know.

Despite the exercise, the brisk air bit through Audra's thin coat. Her fingers, ears, and toes were all frozen. Here, too, just as on the Frische Haff, the old and the young succ.u.mbed to the elements. She stopped and rubbed Annelies's arms and hands to keep the blood flowing. The child's nose was bright red.

Renate stirred on her shoulder. Good, she hadn't frozen to death. What would they do if the girls got frostbite or hypothermia?

They said no more until they approached the farmyard. A low stone wall surrounded the house and barn. A stork's nest, a couple of meters in diameter, rose on a pole high above the scarlet roof. The house's white stucco exterior blended into the snowy background.

Of course, they should have known there wouldn't be enough room in the home or the adjoining barn for all of them. A lucky few crammed into the dwelling, their faces peering from a bevy of windows, while others spilled out from the arched doorway.

Someone had built a fire in the middle of the farmyard, in the corner created by the L-shaped barn and house, protected from the wind. The crowd stood many, many deep. Those on the outskirts must not even be able to feel the fire's heat. Audra imagined the barn would be equally as crowded.

She patted Renate's back as she spoke to Kurt. "Now what?"

He shook his head. "I don't know. We will search for Gisela and Josep here. Then we should return to the train. We can get on one of the cars, stay warm, and not miss it when it leaves."

"Nein." She couldn't make herself get back in that sardine can.

It had blown up once.

It might again.

FIFTEEN.

Kurt stood in the farmyard, wanting to stomp his feet. So he did. Audra would think he stamped them from the cold, not from her stubborn declaration that she wouldn't return to the train.

He had taken Renate from her. Now his arm had gone to sleep, the weight of the child on his shoulder cutting off his circulation. If he possessed two good hands like G.o.d intended, he could have traded positions. Instead, he had to rouse the girl and slide her to the ground. "We'll argue the train part when the time comes. If I can get up each day and face life without an arm, you can get on a train. Right now I'm going to look for Gisela. Stay here and let everyone get warm."

Worry gnawed in the pit of his stomach. They had to find her. Without her, he would never hear the music again. His life would never have beauty or wonder. Or meaning.

Her daisy scarf should help her to stand out in the throng. But what a throng it was. Even with such a bright article of clothing, it would be difficult to impossible to locate her.

Kurt pushed his way into the crowd of women gathered around the fire. Some of them chatted like this was a Sunday social. Some stood with sullen faces, beaten and dejected. "Excuse me, have you seen a woman with a bright green scarf?"

One of the ladies pointed to the other side of the fire. "I think I saw a woman with one over there."

Could it really be this easy? He had heard that with G.o.d, nothing was impossible-except maybe growing a new arm-so he pushed and shoved his way around the huddled group. He spotted the scarf almost immediately. The woman, her face leathery and tanned, was most definitely not Gisela.

Just as he had suspected, it was too good to be true. Still, it wouldn't hurt to ask. "I'm sorry to bother you. Have you seen a woman with a green scarf?"

"Other than myself?"

"Ja. It has daisies on it."

"There are women with scarves every color of the rainbow on this train. What makes her so special?"

Kurt, unwilling to answer that question, moved away and found Audra and the girls where he left them. "Do you know how many women have green scarves?"

Audra fingered her gray one. "I have counted seven so far. None of them Gisela. No one I have asked knows of a woman who fits her description."

"Stay here and keep watching. I will search the barn and the house." He would go faster alone and they would find each other easier.

Though he conducted a frantic yet thorough search, he didn't locate Gisela. His muse. His empty sleeve slung around as he stood in the farmyard and pirouetted, holding his breath.

No Gisela. No woman with a green scarf who resembled her. It was as if she had fallen off the edge of the world.

Kurt returned to the women. "Our best bet would be to return to the train. If Gisela is among us, we should have an easier time finding her there. She might be searching right now for the children."

Audra licked her cracked, red lips. "I can't get on that train."

"You have to."

She shook her head so hard she must have given herself a headache.

"I will be with you."

She peered into his eyes, her pupils small. Fear radiated from her.

An intense desire to protect her took over. "For the kinder's sake, at least walk in that direction. No one says we have to get on." He would drag her aboard when the time came. For now, let her think she didn't have to climb into the carriage.

"You won't make me?"

He turned into a liar. "Nein."

She gave a brief nod, then turned and walked in the direction they had just come.

Gisela set a brisk pace across the snow, now trampled by many feet, making it icy.

Mitch reached out to her. "Take my hand so you don't fall."

She shook her head. "There is no need for both of us to break our necks."

"Are you always this stubborn?" The dimple in his right cheek deepened.