Bad Habits Part 17

"No, Keith. I'm not in the mood."

Hurt, he pushed up on his elbow. "Not in the mood? You sick?"

She sighed. "No. I'm just not in the mood. It's possible that I don't want to screw when you do."

"f.u.c.k it. G'night, Simone."

"Night," she said sweetly. She looked over to see him turn off the lamplight and draw the blanket up over his shoulder. Six years, and even after his infidelity, she'd only turned down s.e.x when on her cycle. It occurred to her that Diane called it when she arrived at her wedding reception, drunk. Her mother Diane told her she was too weak for a man like Keith. He'd walk all over her just like Simone's father had walked all over her. She was right. Her inability to stand up for herself would be the foundation that their marriage was built upon.

"Keith?"

He didn't answer. Should she tell him how scared she was for them, that she was losing faith and that she needed to believe she didn't give away her last independence for nothing? Should she? Or maybe just make up with him and find a way to feel good in his arms again.

"Keith, I..."

The words lodged in her throat. She couldn't do it. Apologize for not spreading her legs on command. She couldn't stomach another episode of Keith deserves the best and Simone gives up the rest.

After the affair, she blamed herself so much she offered him s.e.x as many times a day as she could. What a joke. So instead of an apology, she focused on what did make her happy; the idea of starting her own garden. Her fingers pecked across the laptop keys, granting access to her account. Immediately, she scanned all the new emails. It had been days since her last log in. Junk and more junk cluttered her inbox. All save for one.

BigDaddyCain? Simone chuckled inwardly. Her finger moved over the mouse pad directing the pointer to the name. Then she tapped the pad to open it.

Date: Sun, 26 May 2013 14:21:43 -0700 [8:21:43 PM EST]

From: [email protected] To: Subject: Gardening Tips For You Message: Let me take you!

The message lifted off the LCD screen with larger than life meaning. Let him take me? She bit down on her nail repeating the words over and over again with her inner voice. He could just be asking so he could help her. It might be easier for him to explain and show her what kind of seeds or whatever it was she needed. Or he could be kidding around. The man was a barrel of monkeys. He made her laugh so hard and so often. She hit reply...

Take me where? She typed and then shook her head, no. She tapped the backs.p.a.ce b.u.t.ton and erased the question.

When do you want to go? She retyped.

Her vision was singularly focused on the blinking cursor. She mulled it over, deleted it and tried again.

LOL! You think I'm not a big enough girl to pick out some bags of dirt and a few bags of seeds?

She smiled then hit send. The little envelope on the screen folded, sprouted wings, then flew off through cybers.p.a.ce. What a day she had. She hadn't felt so hopeful since she closed the doors on her little salon. Cain and his jokes pained her all evening with stomach cramps. He found humor in everything she did. She would have lasted longer if it weren't for his ability to make her laugh.

BigDaddyCain: h.e.l.lo!

Simone's head knocked back in shock. Her eyes stretched. The Yahoo messenger window popped up for her to make him a new friend. She accepted. How did he know she was online?

SimoneluvsKeith: Hi!

BigDaddyCain: I thought this was you.

SimoneluvsKeith: You were right. :-) BigDaddyCain: Get my email?

SimoneluvsKeith: Yep, I replied.

BigDaddyCain: And?

SimoneluvsKeith: Did you read it?

BigDaddyCain: It wasn't an answer.

SimoneluvsKeith: Oh. True.

BigDaddyCain: ????

BigDaddyCain: Simone?

SimoneluvsKeith: So you think you should take me?

BigDaddyCain: Yes. Is that a problem? If not, I can give you the list. It might help if I'm there with you. There are other things you'll need to treat the soil.

SimoneluvsKeith: Oh, that makes sense.

BigDaddyCain: Did I catch you at a bad time?

Simone looked over at Keith once more. She bit down on her nail, chewing to the meat. Then she shook her head no. Realizing he couldn't see her, she smiled and typed: SimoneluvsKeith: No.

BigDaddyCain: How about we meet for lunch tomorrow at Costco? It's off Delmont Road. We can get you what you need and maybe a slice of pizza from the cafe. Kill two birds with one stone. If you want, I'll bring Keith?

Simone laughed out loud. Keith turned over and shot her a look. She pressed her lips together to swallow her smile. "The twins. They're talking more now," she lied. Why did she lie? She didn't have to lie. Keith rolled his eyes and gave her his back once more. Simone felt her heart slamming against her ribcage it beat so fast. She tried to calm herself.

SimoneluvsKeith: Very funny. My husband isn't into gardening. But yeah, sure I have some shopping to do. I'll bring Maryanne.

She typed with a sly smile.

BigDaddyCain: Whoa, let's not get ahead of ourselves here.

SimoneluvsKeith: LOL!

BigDaddyCain: I'll be on my best behavior. No water hose or anything. Just one neighbor helping out another. :-) SimoneluvsKeith: You are so charitable.

BigDaddyCain: It's on my resume after astute and before charming.

SimoneluvsKeith: LOL! And humble too! Okay, what time?

BigDaddyCain: 11:18.

SimoneluvsKeith: Why 11:18? Why not 11 or 11:30?

BigDaddyCain: If you leave your house at 11 it will take you exactly 18 minutes from your door to Costco. I don't want to waste a single minute. I'll be there at 11:17 to be sure.

SimoneluvsKeith: That's a flirt! I told you no more flirts.

BigDaddyCain: First, young lady, get your mind out of the gutter. That was not a flirt. It was a fact. Second, your rules don't apply on IM. Remember, it's my lunch break. I only have an hour. Cut me some slack.

SimoneluvsKeith: Right. LOL! Deal. I'll be there at 11:18.

BigDaddyCain: : - ) SimoneluvsKeith: Shouldn't you be sleep?

BigDaddyCain: Tried, but couldn't. It's your fault.

SimoneluvsKeith: How's it my fault?

BigDaddyCain: Check it out. Go to the window. Then you tell me how can any man sleep under your moon?

SimoneluvsKeith: K! brb!

Simone lowered the lid on the laptop and eased out of bed. Keith didn't stir. Quietly she crept over to the window and pulled down the blinds to peek out. Cain was right. It was her moon outside. She smiled, staring up at it. "Wow, the man even knows about my moon," she giggled.

"So, Mother thinks we should do it this Friday. I'm meeting with the decorator and the party planner tomorrow. Do you think the weather is nice enough for us to have it out on the back lawn with lanterns and candles? Wouldn't that be nice? Cain?"

"Huh?" His eyes lifted from his laptop screen.

Maryanne smiled. "What are you doing, sweetie? Working already?" she pulled the sheet back and eased under the covers with him. Cain set the laptop aside. "Everybody at the club asked where you were. I hate when you aren't there."

"Gerald was there," he said, eyes glued to the instant messenger window. He waited for Simone's response. Maryanne drew back. Her abrupt silence eventually caused his eyes to lift. There was a look of hurt so deep in her eyes. Cain paused.

"Why would you say that to me?" Maryanne asked, her bottom lip quivering.

"Say what?"

"You know what! Gerald. Why would you mention him?"

"I can see his crush on you, Maryanne. I'm not stupid."

"And I told you I hate him!" She s.n.a.t.c.hed back the covers. "You can really be an insensitive a.s.s sometimes. I tell you that I missed you today, and you throw another man at me. Is that supposed to be funny?"

"Calm down. I only meant-"

"I know what you meant. That you don't care if any man looks at me. You don't care about the club, about Mother or Daddy, about my friends and about anything that is important to me. You just don't care."

"d.a.m.n it, Maryanne. Don't start this s.h.i.+t."

"Start it? I didn't. I'm sick of it. You're my husband. I want you to act like it not just in public but in here!" she said. Cain threw his hands up, not sure why the mere mention of that twerp would set her off. But he stood guilty in knowing that his little digs did make her uncomfortable. He moved the laptop away. Maryanne broke. Genuine tears flowed. At least he believed them to be. He gave an exasperated sigh and reached for her. She came immediately into his arms, throwing hers around his neck and holding on. He could feel her body s.h.i.+vers go through him.

"It hurts, you know. This wall of indifference you have around me, around us. I know I push and I can b-be a b.i.t.c.h sometimes, but I take care of home, of you. I'm your wife in every way, always. I don't know what to do to get you to see me again. Nothing works. Nothing!"

He closed his eyes. She was good at this. Better at this than him. He hated to see her cry. His reaction was always the same. He'd soften, comfort her, try to make things right for them and get sucked into believing they could be the way they were. Then she'd turn on him and do something sneaky or selfish that had him hating her-literally hating the sight of her. After five long years of it, he was battle weary. Worn out. He just didn't want to do it anymore.

"Make love to me," she said. She kissed his neck.

"Not this s.h.i.+t again," he huffed, pus.h.i.+ng her away. "s.e.x isn't the issue for us, Maryanne."

"It is now since you can't seem to f.u.c.k me without insulting me lately!"

"Sleep the att.i.tude off-"

"NO! Make love to me!" She gave a hard glare. "I'm your wife. I want you to make me feel like it. Now!"

He shook his head. "Now? Who do you think you're talking to?"

"I'm serious."

"If you were, you'd know the difference between me making love to you and f.u.c.king you."

"Do you? That's the question here, Cain. Do you? Because all you do is give me att.i.tude with a hard d.i.c.k. Right? Touch it and tell me. Is it hard now? For me?" He turned away with the cut of his eyes, but she reacted swiftly, taking hold of his face with both hands, kissing him hard. She hooked her arm around his neck and kissed him deeply. She pulled him down on her in the bed, forcing him to roll on top. His eyes left her face and looked up to the partially closed laptop. He could see the instant messenger window blinking. It was Simone. She probably responded. She was probably waiting on his response. He could see her clearly smiling up at her moon.

Maryanne's long slender legs went around his waist. She reached between them stroking him. Their lips parted so she could slip her tongue into his ear. "Maryanne..."

"Look at that, rock hard...all mine." She half smiled up at him, with weepy eyes. "What's more important than me? Nothing."

He sighed.

"Show me. I want to feel it."

She gripped his c.o.c.k, which responded to her touch as she guided him from the front of his pajama pants to her center. His eyes closed once he slipped into her warm heat. He dropped his head to her neck and groaned. She held to him winding her hips as he f.u.c.ked her slow and easy.

Sweet merciful G.o.d, this isn't right. I can't even f.u.c.k my wife now? It's not Maryanne's fault. This is on me. Yep, my fault, and Mrs. Livingston's next door. The temptress has me all out of my head. I can't lie. Not to myself. I'll lie to them all but I won't lie to myself. When the water hit her top, soaking those pretty t.i.tties of hers, I was f.u.c.ked. I love b.r.e.a.s.t.s. Maryanne's are perfect in every way... but those...well those t.i.ts are even better. Simone has the largest nipples I've ever seen on a woman, like dark grapes. They pressed hard against the black lace of her bra. And it didn't stop there. She has a tiny waist, round hips, perfectly shaped a.s.s. I've always been an a.s.s man, and she has the ripest one in Castle Rock. I'm sure of it. The way her a.s.s moved when she walked away from me was too much. She was too much. d.a.m.n it, I can't stop thinking about her.

Maryanne slipped him more tongue. He imagined what Simone would taste like. Sweet, flavored, ice cold tea with a lemon tang. Yes that's it! f.u.c.k, he was losing it and thinking about another woman when he was about to make love to his wife.

"s.h.i.+t, let me go," he said, pus.h.i.+ng off Maryanne. He put his throbbing member away. Maryanne's shock and frustration turned her face a deep shade of red.

"What was that? What happened? You were into it. I could tell."

"Nothing. I...it's nothing." He got up. Maryanne's eyes narrowed with suspicion. They slipped from him to the half closed laptop, then back to him. She was sharp. Too d.a.m.n sharp for him to be mind tripping over another woman, a married woman. Cain casually went over and closed the lid and unplugged it from the wall. He returned to the bed. "It's work, new boss. Your father is riding me. I just can't keep up. I need...s.p.a.ce."

"Calm down, baby. I know what you need."

Cain panted. He wanted to bolt. They had their problems. Most of them began when his father in-law couldn't buy him off to keep him from taking his princess down the aisle. It ended with him trading in his pride and self-respect to become Andrew Hollingsworth's carrier of dirty secrets; a tradeoff he willingly made for Maryanne, and then his mother. Yes, being married to a Hollingsworth gave him access to a lot of secrets, but this was different. He had never harbored feelings for another woman before. Through it all, he reasoned that his love for Maryanne may not be perfect, but it was there. She was the most beautiful woman in Castle Rock, a wildcat in bed and easy to please if and only if she got her way. She could just look at him and he was hard. No woman other than her had that kind of pull over him.

Was it l.u.s.t with Simone? It was definitely l.u.s.t with Maryanne now. He was sure of it. Each time his heart went dead, his d.i.c.k got hard and he f.u.c.ked her. That was l.u.s.t. From the first day he watched Simone under her moon, he felt something else, a deep sense of loneliness. When he laughed with her, he didn't feel alone. No, no. He hadn't failed his wife. He just found a friend. f.u.c.k, he didn't have a single one in the five years he lived in Castle Rock.

"Come here, baby... it's okay."

He sat down on the bed. Maryanne tried to rub it out of his shoulders. She kissed the back of his head. "Daddy knows you are working hard. It will all pay off in the end."

Lying back, he let her cover him with her warmth. He closed his eyes and regulated his breathing. Maryanne began to kiss him again. She moved over him. Her position allowed for her to rub her curves and softness over his body. "Let me make you feel good, baby. Just relax."

Cain sighed. He closed his eyes and felt her straddle him. By the time she was on him, riding him, he cleared his mind, letting her f.u.c.k him until all the doubt slipped away.

She waited another minute before she saw his name blink off. He had done so before answering her. Was he interrupted? Maybe he was. She couldn't hide how disappointed she was. She looked over to her husband. He remained asleep. Simone chewed on her bottom lip. She hadn't really done anything. She made a friend, not a date for s.e.x. She really needed to get herself together. It was harmless, she reasoned.