On A Godless Planet Volume 1 Chapter 17

And that meant one thing.

"Visiting the bathhouse with Senpaiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!"

"Wow! A bath with Senpai!"

Raidou-senpai tilted his head while I got all excited and hopped up and down.

"That's how you got hit by a dump truck, you know?"

"I don't care about my past mistakes! I live in the moment!"

"Also, Sumeragi-kuuun? Which bath are you going to use?"

That reminded me of that issue. I looked down to see b.o.o.bs there.

"Yes! Woohoo! I'm so glad I'm a girl! This is going to be a learning experience! How about that, you two boys!? You can go get in the bath together, strike a Y-pose, and do pushups!"

"I shouldn't have made you a girl…"

"Ohh! Kuwajiri! Thank you! It's all thanks to you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you so much! If you hadn't made me a girl with that banana, I might never have been able to take a bath with Senpai!"

"Doesn't it make you sad to say that?"

"Um, well, uh."

Scarecrow sighed.

There was enough hot water to stretch out her legs, the ceiling was tall, and the was.h.i.+ng area was large.

This was a bathhouse.

The Sunakawa bathhouse called Nam 1975 was one of the establishments that Balancer and the s.h.i.+nto G.o.ds had worked together to add into the reproduced 90s era.

The Nam part of the name came from an alternate name for Okuninus.h.i.+ who was said to have discovered hot springs and the 1975 was an arbitrary year chosen to make it feel like a well-established business.

Since the name came from Okuninus.h.i.+'s alternate name, Ana 1975 and Ona 1975 were also suggested, but they were rejected for being too obscene.[1] Of course they were.

But…

"Tenmkun, should you really be taking a bath like this?"

"Eh? Just because I'm a thunder G.o.d doesn't mean I leak electricity everywhere."

That undercla.s.sman then asked a question while soaking her feet in the bath.

"Scarecrow-senpai, should you really be soaking like that?"

"Hm? I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, I was afraid you might boil."

"No, no, no, no," she said while waving her hands side to side.

"I am a scarecrow, remember? I might be an agricultural G.o.d with a connection to grains, but I am not made of grains myself. So I will not boil. Also, while it is limited to white rice, boiled rice is made by soaking the grains of rice and turning them into a paste. But the water temperature needed to efficiently accelerate the soaking of white rice is more than 50 degrees. This water is generally kept just above 39 degrees, so there is no chance of boiling."

"So you're being half-boiled…"

That did not seem quite right, but she was disappointed she did not have a comment ready to show off her knowledge. And then a sudden voice reached them from the changing room.

"Ehhhhh!? Why are you wearing swimsuits in the changing room!?"

It was incredible how immediately obvious it was who had arrived.

Raidou nodded deeply at Sumeragi's voice heard from the girls side of the bathhouse.

"I know it's a letdown when you were expecting nudity, but swimsuits are pretty great, Sumeragi."

He doubted that lecture would reach Sumeragi. Unfortunately.

But anyway…

"Balancer, can Yomoji and I really use this like s.h.i.+nto G.o.ds?"

"I'm not sure I should be making this decision on my own, but…eh, this is fine!"

"Niiice! I like how deciiisive you are, Raidou-kun."

Yomoji stripped off his clothes to reveal he was already wearing swim trunks below.

"Really?"

"Woullld you believe me if I said I haaad predicted this?"

"Nope, I wouldn't."

Yomoji laughed and slapped him on the back.

"I'm glaaad."

"I wouldn't want to be you. People expect a lot from you."

"You could sayyy that."

"Yeah," agreed Raidou.

This was obvious enough after a trip to the bookstore.

"Prophecies, G.o.ds, UFOs, previous lives, ghosts, fortunetelling, and all that stuff were actually unrealistic in this age since there was still barely any interference from the concept laws, but j.a.pan still believed in an awful lot of that stuff."

"I love stuff liiike prophecies. Makes me want to tryyy it out myself. I really enjoyyyed the alien special they aired on TV the otherrr day. They kind of looked liiike me."

"Makes you wish you could've manifested a thousand or so years earlier, right? Although we're really just a copy or replaying of the real deal form the Earth Age."

"Sorry."

He apologized. There were a number of reasons for that, but…

"We're nothing but trouble, aren't we?"

Just as Balancer said that, someone stepped out from one of the small changing stalls.

"Oh."

It was Kunugi Takes.h.i.+.

Raidou raised a hand in greeting.

Kunugi was tall and had several bandanas wrapped around him. The horn-like hair on his head was also wrapped in bandanas.

"So how'd it go?"

"Thanks forrr the help. If we had runnn into trouble, I would have had tooo use my absurdities."

"So you can avoid the worst case scenario with Yomoji around?"

"The Mesopotamians would be a real pain because you can trace Yomoji's roots back to them."

"Oh, I see," said Kunugi while lightly striking the air with hands still covered with a bit of blue and red paint.

"Running the DC can't be easy. There's just no way you can bring together and manage every single mythology. There are so many interests involved and I hate that kind of thing."

"But we wouldn't have anyone to coordinate things without the DC."

"True. Without it, the G.o.ds would start behaving like humans."

"You mean war."

"I do," confirmed Kunugi.

"If that happens, those on the DC will have an overwhelming advantage. The reason they stay on the DC instead of going to war has more to do with their pride than their conscience, but…well, I'm just saying to keep that in mind."

"The fifth generation is really tough. …I wonder what the DC would've been like if I was a member."

"Don't even joke about that. Your war G.o.d culture glorifies fighting and dying in battle, so you'd have a tournament of the G.o.ds set up before the day was out."

"I can already see s.h.i.+fu getting super excited and Haruto giving me the most displeased look ever. Even though Haruto's pretty far up in the rankings."

"That's the thing with you Norse G.o.ds…"

"But we make good mercenaries for you s.h.i.+nto G.o.ds, don't we? And we also have Kuwajiri."

Just then, they heard a voice from the other side.

"Huhhhh!? Kuwajiri-saaaaaan! Yours are even smaller than mine, aren't theyyyy!? They say the G.o.ds make everyone equal! But there's a clear difference between the two of us here!"

"What was that about Kuwajiri?"

"She just doesn't hide it when she's angry. That way it doesn't build up inside her."

"What about s.h.i.+fu?"

"She doesn't get mad at me. She just makes suggestions and hopes for things."

She's a good girl, he thought. So…

"Right?"

Just as he sought agreement, Yomoji and Kunugi exchanged a glance and finally responded.

"Oh, shut up."

"Oh, shut up."

"Kunugi, you asked the question! And you have your wife Keito, don't you?"

"Keito is, y'know, working on something, so she only ever gives one word responses to everything I say. And when she's mad, she reduces my share of the clay and paint."

"That sounds rough."

"It's not that bad," said Kunugi while opening a locker. He pulled out a reed sack that had a bag of art supplies sticking out of it.

"Heading home? …So were you behind what happened to Sumeragi?"

"Does that mean Kuwajiri is keeping quiet? …Just a.s.sume I had a good reason. To be honest, if that doesn't become clear soon, Kido is not going to be happy with me."

"I really am grateful for everything you do."

"Repay me sometime," said Kunugi as he prepared to leave. And…

"Balancer, can't you make a full-coverage revelation network?"

So…

"…Raidou."

"Yeah, Kunugi?"

"I'm all for peace…but when I hear things like that, I start to think it might be necessary to be a little more selfish."

"You're selfish enough for leaving the DC to support s.h.i.+nto."

After that, Kunugi turned his back and waved.

The movement of his shoulders made it clear he was laughing a little. That was how it was between the two of them. But…

"Ahhhhh! Senpai! Swimsuit! Waaahhh! Hwaaaaah! Hwahaaaahhh!"

Is that idiot okay? Well, I guess the idiot part means no.

I saw Senpai step out of the changing stall.

"Shut up, exposition face! I'm too busy using my eyes!"

I used them.

Senpai wore a two-piece like it was only natural. It was colored white and black.

"You're the best, Senpai!"

"R-really?"

"Yes! I could praise you forever! Should I!? Y/N!? Y! Y! Y! I really don't have the vocabulary to describe it, but you're the best of the bestest bests!"

A Revelation Board suddenly appeared in front of me.

"Did you just try to touch Senpai-san's chest?"

"No, no, no, no! Wait! I'm way too far away for that! And I didn't move at all, did I!?"

"Maybe the motion control optimization predicted you were about to do it."

"Ehhhhh!? No one told me it did that! And how could it optimize like that when I've never opened my own Revelation Board before!?"

As soon as I saw s.h.i.+fu-senpai in her gold and white striped two-piece swimsuit, a pair of Revelation Boards shot out.

"Hold on there."

"Okay, maybe we do need to call the cops."

"Wait, wait, wait, wait! There's something wrong with this thing! What kind of premature Revelation Board goes off after just seeing some b.o.o.bs!?"

"Sumeragi-kun, maybe try to show some, um, restraint…"

I swiftly prostrated before Senpai and pressed my forehead against the floor.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! It's not that I have no restraint! It's just that, um, a surfactant has the blood flowing so smoothly into the erectile tissue of my heart!"

"What language are you speaking?"

"C'mon, I'm just talking about how squeaky smooth the blood flows! Squeaky squeaky smooth!"

I wasn't even sure what I was talking about anymore.

But I had to prove my innocence, so I stood up and…

"Listen, Senpai! I'll prove I have restraint!"

I looked at Kuwajiri. She was wearing a brown one-piece swimsuit.

I looked at her. And…

"Now that the Revelation Board really didn't appear, I feel kind of bad about doing this."

"Just shut up."

"I mean, humor-wise wouldn't it have been funnier if it appeared?"

"I said shut up."

"Also, that swimsuit isn't supposed to be the color of a wooden beer mug, is it?"

"Never speak again."

"Are you telling me to die?"

"That would just mean more work for me, so try to stay alive until I'm not so busy."

I felt like I had seen the dark side of society in that conversation.

Anyway, I turned back toward the others.

"See!? I've got plenty of restraint!"

Two Revelation Boards appeared, so I smashed them with a backhand snap and struck a pose.

The two uppercla.s.smen tilted their heads.

"I feel like this is all very rude to Kuwajiri-chan."

"That's right, Sumeragi-kun. Despite what I said, I think this was a little rude and you should probably have one appear for Kuwajiri-san too."

I loved how Senpai could say that while aware it was a double standard!

So I turned back toward Kuwajiri and made a groping motion in empty air.

"Ready, go."

A Revelation Board appeared.

"Yay! It appeared, Kuwajiri! Happy now!?"

"Um, Senpai-san, um, uh, well, I know you meant well, but, uh, how should I put it, I think you went at that the wrong way, so maybe, uh, well, my vocabulary just keeled over and died, didn't it, but, um, well, uh."

"Aaaaahhhh! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

"To be clear, Kuwajiri-chan, is a wisdom G.o.d, so she'll talk up a storm when it's about knowledge and wisdom, but she's pretty bad at expressing her own opinions and feelings."

"Eh!? Really, Kuwajiri!? Then what do you think about me!? And I mean emotionally!"

"I hope you die."

"Waiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit! That was fast!"

Hmm, mentally groaned s.h.i.+fu while looking alternately between the idiot and Kuwajiri.

Then Senpai-chan must have noticed something.

"Is something wrong?"

"Not really. But I did notice a difference here."

Senpai-chan tilted her head with an "eh?" while a Revelation Board opened and vanished around her. That meant the idiot's faith was working for her, but…

"My Revelation Board didn't get any experience points at all."

"Oh…"

It looked like Senpai-chan had caught on. She put a hand on her chin in thought. She seemed to view this as a problem, so she must not have been trying to hog Sumeragi to herself.

And then she spoke again.

"Sumeragi-kun says a lot of silly things, but I think that's a sign of her respect for Kuwajiri-san. The way she expresses it might be a problem, but I do hope the experience points find their way to Kuwajiri-san in some visible way."

"Really? You aren't afraid Kuwajiri-chan will steal Sumeragi-chan's faith from you?"

"No, because I know Sumeragi-kun's faith is directed at me. But aside from that, I hope her respect can reach Kuwajiri-san. Kuwajiri-san might not think of herself like that, but I bet it would change how she thinks about it if it actually happened."

Raidou finished changing and considered what equipment to bring in with him. He generally kept on the belt buckle part, but what about the arm supporter? He could always wash it in the bath's laundry.

While he tried to make up his mind, a Revelation Board opened.

"Tooruuuuuuuu!"

"Yeah? What is it, s.h.i.+fu? Did you run out of haircare stuff?"

"No, no," said s.h.i.+fu.

"I managed to take Senpai-chan's side!"

Did something make her happy? he wondered. But…

"Oh, really, really? Make sure you get along."

"That'll be easy in the bath!"

True enough, he thought. But…

"Is something the matter?"

"No, not really."

This is about my wife after all, he thought while choosing his words carefully.

"I just learned something that makes me glad we came here."

Seeing two tall and busty girls closely interacting was an incredible thing.

"Wow…"

"Delete every last one of those Revelation Board photos you're taking."

That did not stop me.

s.h.i.+fu-senpai hugged and rubbed Senpai like she was an adorable animal.

"Eh? Eh? Um, s.h.i.+fu-san? Uhh?"

"Man, Senpai-chan, you're great! I just want to…what should I even say?"

She finally found the words.

"Let's hang out more often, okay?"

"Ah…"

I was honestly happy to hear that, but was this really okay?

…Sumeragi-kun said she would be with me forever too…

What should I do? This doesn't fit with my authority. So…

"Senpai-chan?"

I came back to my senses. This was not the time for that, so…

"Thank you very much. …I hope we can spend more time together too."

She's lying, I thought.

"Senpai?"

I felt like she had just told a lie. I wasn't sure why, but…

"Eh? What is it, Sumeragi-kun?"

That response was her usual self. I sensed no lie there.

I didn't ask for you, Revelation Board. Really, stop that. Please. I'm trying to think.

"I'm starting to think Senpai-san set that up wrong."

"What!? How dare you try to blame Senpai for this!"

"Oh…oh, no. The optimization level really is set to max. Sorry…"

"Senpai! I'm so happy you tried to help me out with that setting!"

Anyway, Kuwajiri was glaring at me, but Senpai's level had gone up, so maybe it was all good.

Wait, no.

There was no maybe about it between Senpai and me.

It was all good. It was all great. It was all super-duper. There was no compromise in goodness here.

I asked about it since that was the right thing to do with Senpai and me.

"Senpai…you just lied, didn't you?"

"Well…"

"Something felt off when you said you wanted to spend more time with her."

"Ah…"

She stopped speaking. At the same time, the beer mug swimsuit raised a hand.

"What kind of G.o.d you are is a secret. If this has to do with that, I will not pursue the matter."

Oh, right. There was that. I'd kind of forgotten, but…

"Um, I'm not sure how to say it, but my authority…I guess you could say it means I should reject any close relations.h.i.+ps."

Senpai explained.

"So I'm hesitant to get closer to people. I feel like I shouldn't be doing it."

I more or less understood. There were a lot of death G.o.ds and debuff G.o.ds out there.

And she was probably a unique case even among those.

"I'll a.s.sume there is no countermeasure or no precedent for your case."

The possibility of no precedent would be Kuwajiri's decision. And if she was willing to suggest it, it was worth taking into consideration.

"Is that what you think, Kuwajiri-chan?"

"A lot of the current virtually manifested G.o.ds have fairly unique authorities, but there are generally other G.o.ds with the same sort of authority. But…s.h.i.+nto Representative Omokane-senpai said Senpai-san was the most powerful. I am taking that to mean there are no others like her…and that means no precedent."

I couldn't believe it. Most likely that low-rank G.o.ddess had more authority than she knew what to do with.

For now, I rubbed her head. And…

"You know…"

I'm on your side, okay? So…

"If everything gets to be too much to bear or you feel like you've caused a lot of trouble for Sumeragi-chan, you can abandon the terraforming and run away, okay?"

"Eh?"

"It's fine, it's fine. That's just how it is. So…Sumeragi-chan?"

I asked a question.

"If Senpai-chan ever disappears, what would you do?"

"Well! Without my faith, I'd have nothing to live for! So I'd go find her and wors.h.i.+p her!"

That answer earned a perfect score with extra credit. Senpai-chan couldn't hide the uneasy expression below my hand, but…

"Are you listening?"

"Um, uh, yes, what is it?"

This is what it was.

"We'll have all the answers once that happens, okay? We'll know if you're actually under enough pressure to throw it all away, we'll know if that idiot really will chase after you, and we'll know what you'll do in response. There's no point in thinking about it now since nothing's been decided yet. But…"

But…

"You can make those decisions when the time comes. So you know what to do for now, don't you?"

"…Yes."

Senpai-chan spoke quietly.

"I'll do my best to make sure that doesn't happen and that things continue as they are."

That's right, I thought.

s.h.i.+fu could help out when I was feeling anxious and wasn't sure what to do.

"Oh, and Sumeragi-chan gets a gold star for noticing."

That's right, I thought. Thank you, I also thought.

Sumeragi-kun would find me when I was feeling lost.

That might happen eventually, but…

"Yes."

That had not happened yet, so for now…

"Are we done with all the complicated stuff!? Can we start the super bath time now!?"

Wait, you're switching rails a little too fast there.