The Unexpected Discovery Of Love Chapter 160 - Submissive

Carl nestled in her embrace feeling at peace.

Things did happen for a reason, if he had remained in the capital, perhaps he would not have met her. He had to be thankful to his parents for kicking him out. How else would they come to know each other when he never left the comfort of his home?

Kim pulled back a bit, leaving Carl puzzled. He stared into her eyes, wondering if something was wrong.

"I have a confession to make… I like BDSM. I've never experienced it but I enjoy it." He heard her say.

The look in his eyes was that of curiosity, "What's BDSM?"

His question froze her. How did he not know what it was? Was she then the more experienced one in their relations.h.i.+p?

She had always wanted someone who was well versed in that area. Maybe not BDSM but…

Was he clueless about these matters? She began to wonder.

Then she came to a conclusion, he could always learn. They could experiment together. Besides, every master was once a pupil.

Wasn't that the saying?

Her cheeks reddened, thinking of these matters.

Clearing her throat, she answered, "It's best you find out yourself."

Right then, he took out his phone to search for the term. Before she could stop him, he had seen it all.

She wanted to tell him to look it up later, she did not expect him to just take out the phone and directly search for it.

Kim lowered her head while he read. She was so embarra.s.sed, she wanted to dig a hole and hide in it.

The silence was disturbing, she was too afraid to look up and see the judgment in his eyes.

The silence was uncomfortable. It made her s.h.i.+fty.

Just then, his hands lifted her chin up. And she saw his eyes were clear, without any form of prejudice.

"Why do you like it?" He asked rather casually.

Did he not think it was a big deal?

"I don't know…"

Carl asked a different question, "Were you abused… s-exually?"

She shook her head. "Almost…"

"What do you mean, almost?" He ran his fingers through her hair to comfort her.

"I mean, I was saved before it actually happened but…"

His trusting eyes beckoned for her to speak.

"He hit me, he called me a s.l.u.t. He said he knew I enjoyed it… at a point, I started to believe that. I came across BDSM when..." Her voice grew tiny at this point, she did not want to lie that she overheard people talking about it and got curious.

"I was alone and h.o.r.n.y… and I wanted relief, so I searched for p.o.r.n. But soon it got boring to me, that's when I came across BDSM. And the more I watched, the more I fantasized about being a s-ex slave. When we started living together, I used to fantasize you'd s-exually a.s.sault me while I begged you not to."

After saying her piece, she felt a huge burden had been lifted off her shoulders.

"Kim, I doubt hitting you like an animal would make you feel my love for you. Do you really want to do that?

You're human, you're existence, equally as important as mine. You're not a slave, neither are you mine. I won't inflict pain on you to make you understand that or just for s-exual gratification."

As he spoke, he gently caressed her body, "I can't bare to whip you like a slave, you're not one. Even if you are, you're still human. Your body is also as precious as your heart so I can't and I won't damage it so you feel this… "s-exual pleasure".

Actually, I think if I hit you, you'd run away from me, I don't want that. You'd only feel so small and unworthy.

How can you be unworthy? You're not small, you're not a slave, you're Kim, my wife."

On one hand, Carl had heard everything she said but he made no comment about her fantasizing about being s-exually a.s.saulted by him. He wasn't sure how to address that matter but he was glad he was the one that ended up with her.

He was certain that she would lose herself if she were in an abusive relations.h.i.+p.

On the other hand, his words were like light in the dark. She was truly relieved to have shared this with him. His acceptance and his words made her feel free!

She dove back into his embrace.

Then she began to ponder. Is it as he had said? Did she really not like it?

Thinking back, if he had hit her or forced himself on her, she would have hated him. She recalled that on the day they met, she was caught by a pervert. Perhaps he's right. Although she enjoyed watching those men demean those ladies, she would not want to be shared or flogged or dragged or beg like her life depended on it.

She could not deny that she felt that bliss those women felt… at a point, she revelled in it. It was much more exciting than the conventional practice. However, she could never bear that kind of pain or torture.

Besides, if he treated her like that, perhaps the thin line between sanity and madness would be a blur to her.

What she feared the most was abandonment and reliance. She couldn't even bear to trust him. Then if she did that, was she not surrendering her life to him to do as he pleases? If he got tired of her, she would then be pa.s.sed along his friends. Or would he invite another person to join them? Maybe totally leave her? 

By then, what would happen to her?

Her mental health was certainly not strong enough to be a submissive.

Kim was currently overthinking again.