The Foolish Dictionary Part 23

=RELATIONS= A tedious pack of people who haven't the remotest knowledge of how to live nor the smallest instinct about when to die.

=RELIGION= A cloak used by some persons in this world who will be warm enough without one in the next.

=R.E. MORSE= A veteran General who commands the largest army in the world.

=REPARTEE= The sa.s.sy habit of talking back.

=REPUTATION= A personal possession, frequently not discovered until lost.

=RESIDENCE= A rural locality inhabited annually--for a few hours--by a rich New Yorker or Bostonian.

=RESOLUTION= A fragile bit of crockery fas.h.i.+oned on the first day of January and usually broken on the second.

=RESORT= (=SUMMER=) A place where the tired grow more tired. From Eng. _rest_, and Grk. _orizo_, to limit. A place where rest is limited.

=REST= A trade in which every hobo holds a Union Card for life.

=RESTAURANT= An inst.i.tution for the spread of dyspepsia. From Lat.

_restauro_, to repair, and Grk. _anti_, against. After patronizing, you're "up against repairs."

=RHETORIC= Language in a dress suit.

=RICE= An effective field-piece, used for a.s.saulting Chinamen or the newly-married.

=ROQUEFORT= A kind of cheese whose odor puts it easily in the first rank.

=ROYCROFTER= A successful book-maker on the East Aurora turf. From Fr. _roi_, king, and old Saxon _crofter_, or grafter. King of Grafters.

=RUMOR= The long-distance champion of the Human Race--a monster with more tales than an octopus.

=RUST= Physical dullness.

=RUSTIC= Mental dullness.

Beggars should never be choosers--though the beggar often chews what he begs.

S

A miss is as good as her smile.

=SADDUCEE= A person holding skeptical religious views. Hopeless, hence sad you see.

=SAILOR= A man who makes his living on water but never touches it on sh.o.r.e.

=SANDWICH= An unsuccessful attempt to make both ends meat.

=SAUSAGE= An aftermath of the dog-days.

=SCAFFOLD= A work of art that rarely fails to get a hanging.