Brite and Fair Part 12

so when we come back to the parlor they sed that 2 more rocks had struck the house while we was gone and i pertended to pick up the rock i had brougt in under the otterman. father sed if that rock had hit you Steven it wood have cooked your goos. and Ann Maria sed it is a mersy it dident and Aunt May sed this is a serius matter George and father sed it is more than that Mary it is a dam outrage and he and Charles went out again and i folowed them. ferst they went over to Beanys and asted his father if he had saw ennyone. he sed he hadent. then father asted where Elbrige was. Elbrige is Beany you know and he sed he was up to Pewts painting sumthing in the shop. so father come back. he was prety mad and sed he wood give 100 dollers to find out who throwed them rocks. and he wood like to know what the polis.e.m.e.n was for enyway. so he and Charles and Steve talked about how bad the town was run and what a tuf set of rowdies there was now a days and how mutch better it was in the old days. then father he sed a few days ago sum one put a notise up on cousin Isaks house sined by the Terible 3 and Ike hadent been down town sence and hadent been out day times without having old mother Moulton come in and set with his wife while he was gone. he sed Ike had got a pistol and was going to lode it only he dident know whitch end of it loded and his wife was moar scart of the pistol than she was of the Terible 3 whoever the misable cusses was. father sed that old mother Moulton was moar pertection than 5 pistols and 2 bull dogs and he wood pity enny Terrible 3 or Terible 300 whitch wood da.s.s to interfear with her.

then old Steve he sed he had heard of sum things the desperrit villanes had did. they had tide a snaping tirtle to the doorgn.o.b of old mister Tilton and he had been prety badly bit by him and that docter Perry and docter Swet and docter Perrum had all been called and it was moar than a hour befoar they stoped the flow of blood. i told them i guess that wasent so for i see him down town the next day all rite. i sed the fellers was talking it over at school and Luke mannix sed that the fellers that tide the snaper to the doorgn.o.b had tide up his mouth. he sed he see the snapers head after Ed Tilton Peeliky Tiltons uncle had cut it off and its mouth was tide up with a cord.

Steve sed a feller mite jest as well be bit as scart to deth and Charles Smith sed that may be so cussin Stefen but if i had to be boath i wood ruther be one and i wood ruther be scared to deth becaus you cood get over being scart to deth but you mite not get over being bit if you had a hine leg or arm bit off. ennyway he sed it was time that the orthoritys of the town got together and offered a reward for ennybody whitch wood ketch those fellers.

father sed onct he and Gim Melcher and Bill Young usted to get a pocket full of gravil and when the old fellers was setting round the stove in the stores smoaking and spitting and talking the fellers wood open the stoar door and plug a handful of gravil in and slam the door and run. they done that for quite a while and bimeby old Boss Langly whitch kep a store down by great brige offered a reward of 10 dollers to ennyone whitch wood ketch them. so he hid 2 nites oposite his store and neerly froze to deth for it was in november and a cold nite.

bimeby father and Bill and Gim come along and they all got ready. father sed he peeked into the store and see all the old pods setting there and he opened the door and they all pluged the gravil and started to run and run rite into Boss arms and Boss grabed father by one neck and Gim by the other and he waulked them down to fathers fathers house and sent for old Dan Melcher and he came hipering up from his house with his coat tales floating in the breaz. well after they had talked about an hour fathers father and old Dan Melcher paid 10 dollers to old Boss Langly and agreed to tan the hide off of father and Gim if old Boss woodent persecute and woodent tell the other store keepers who pluged the gravil. and fathers father tanned the hide off of father and Gims father tanned the hide off of Gim and Bill got off becaus old Boss dident have but 2 hands to grab with an had put his falce teeth in a gla.s.s of water behine the stove and he coodent hold Bill without teeth or he wood have got Bill two, and father and Gim wasent tattletales.

father had sed he thought old Boss got prety good interest for nothing. he got 10 dollers and dident have to pay enny reward and had the fun of ketching them and the way they put it on showed that they liked to do it. so evrybody was satisfide xcept father and Gim. then Aunt Mary she sed well i guess you desirved it George and father laffed and sed i gess i desirved a good deal moar than i ever got Aunt Mary. father had augt to have licked me 10 times as often as he did. and then h.e.l.len Smith sed evrybody tells me George that you was the meanest boy in the town and father sed no h.e.l.len i dont think i was meen. i was bad enuf G.o.d knows but i always had lots of frends and kep them and a meen feller never has frends. and h.e.l.len she sed well if you wasent a meen boy i shood like to know what a meen boy was and father he sed a meen boy or man or girl or woman is one whitch does meen things to another or says meen things about them. i dont know whitch is the wirst but i gess the one whitch says meen things about peeple. so h.e.l.len she set up and n.o.body sed ennything for 2 minits. then Keene got up and went to the piano and set down and sung

i'm the girl that's gay and happy where so ear i chanct to be and there's sumthing i will tell you if you will but list to me

i tell you Keene is rite on hand when there is ennything going on. bimeby they went home and i went upstairs. i wonder what Pewt and Beany will say when they find out that they broak fathers winders insted of old J. Alberts. it seams funny to have to pay Pewts father for putting in new panes of gla.s.s in plaice of them whitch Pewt broak. if Pewt can do this evry nite he can keep the old man bizzy all the time and make a pile of money.

October 24, 186---brite and fair and frost last nite. father waked me up hollering up the stairs.

he sed come down here quick so i piled out of bed and put on my close as lifely as i cood and went down 3 steps at a time. when i got there father told me to come out in front of the house and to look and i done it and there on old J. Alberts side of the house was a sine whitch sed

J. Albert Clark we have broak your win- ders. this is jest a beginning, moar anon.

bewair. bewair the Terible 3.

i looked as sirprised as i cood and sed gosh father then it was the Terible 3 and they was trying to get even with J. Albert insted of you. i wunder what he has did to them. but father sed i dont cair what he has did to them it cant go on this way verry long befoar sumone will be in jale. when he sed that i felt as if i dident have enny stomack. then he hollered for J. Albert and old J. Albert come down and when he saw the sine and father had told him about the broaken winder he sed he shood go down town to the polise stasion and make a complaint and see if innosent peeple aint going to have enny pertection under the law.

then father sed have you did ennything rong to ennyone Albert whitch mite want to get even with you and old J. Albert he sed he hadent done rong to a living sole as far as he gnew and he sed i gess George they must have got in the rong side of the house and they ment it for you insted of me and father sed that may be so Albert but it is almity quear that they shood call me J. Albert Clark and hang the sine on your side of the house and J.

Albert dident know what to say to this and so he sed i gess that is quear but peeple do quear things sumtimes. then father sed have you heard how they hung a snaping tirtle on old man Tiltons doorgn.o.b and rung his bell and he went to the door and got so badly bit that it took 3 docters to sow him up. and old J. Albert sed no i dident hear of it George. is it trew? and father sed i was told so last nite and i understand other peeple has been warned and a.s.saulted, and in evry case it has been a prety meen man. and J. Albert sed well i dont know what ennyone has got agenst me and if necesery i shall have a poliseman stay here nites and father sed it looks to as if it was only the beginning of sum prety desperit work but if ennything happens jest gnock on the wall and i will come in on the gump.

and old J. Albert sed thank you George i know i can alwys relie on you and father sed you can Albert you can but i am afrade you are in for sumthing verry serius but we must hoap for the best.

so then we went in to breckfast and when we got in father began to laff and sed there i have give miss Nancy sumthing to wurry about to pay him for rasing my rent last month. he wont da.s.s to go down town nites enny moar than old Ike Shute.

i sed to father dont you think the Terible 3 will do sumthing feerful to him and father sed no they may roten eg him or sumthing like that but they wont hirt him. i sed do you supose it is big fellers or little fellers and father sed it must be big fellers becaus little fellers coodent ty up a snaping tirtles mouth and coodent ty him to a doorgn.o.b. i figger it is sum big rowdys that want to be smart. it must be sum fellers that aint been to school mutch for that sine is spelt rong in 2 or 3 plaices. so i dident say enny moar and the hack come for father and he got in and went to the trane and i felt better.

After breckfast i went up to Pewts and he and Beany sed to me gosh Plupy we broak a lot of winders in old J. Albert Clarks house and put up a sine and when i told them what they had did they were suprised as time and they sed well all rite for you old J. Albert your tirn will come. so i asted Pewts father to come down and put in a new pane of gla.s.s. and he came down before i went to school.

he sed that peeple were talking about the rain of lawlissness and that sumthing was going to be did about it. he sed it probly was being did by sumone we hadent the leestest idea of, most always when sum verry unusuel crime is comitted the pirpitraiter is found to be one of the most respective citisens of the town. Pewts father sed he callated it wood be so in this case. he sed he was satisfide it wasent boys or rowdys but the last pirson we wood suspeck.

the Exeter Newsleter had a peace in it today.

Beany read it to me and i cpppied it down for the record. this was what the peace in the Newsleter sed.

crime rammpent

The waive of crime that has broaken out in our comunety is one that deserves the repribation of every wirthy citisen haveing the welfair of our town at hart. the unpreceedented boldness of the miss creants is sutch as reminds one verry forceably of the why ohs of New York that infaimus band of ruffans that plunged the city of New York into a riot of criminality that bid fair to rival the orgies of Roam under the rane of Nero.

we have jest been regoiceing in the convicksion of the ring leeders of the band of garrotters that has terrorfide the naboring city of Boston when we are confrunted with a serious of crimes in our own town that bid fair to rival the wirst of the above mensioned atrosities.

the cowerdly a.s.sault upon our wirthy sittizen mister William Hobbs a man whose mennifoaled and sterling trates of carackter int.i.tle him to a very high rank as a cittisen. the dasterdly attact up on mister Biley J. Tilton whose open handed jennorosity has done so mutch to maik his naim ornnered in this community. the repperhensibel nature of their warning to mister Isak Shute a man whose jenerous wirth and moddist life has indeered him to evryone, the coa.r.s.e thret to mister J. Albert Clark whose kinliness and good deads are as well knone as his finanshal ability and probbity, are sutch as maik the blud of evry onnest man boil in their vanes.

it is indeed time that the ofisers of the law take the most astringint measures to deteck and stamp out the hoal infernal brood.

when father come hoam tonite he redd it and laffed and sed i wunder what dam fool rote that.

ennyone with branes enuf to fill a thimbel had augt to know that n.o.budy is going to be hirt. the fellers that tide up that mud tirtles mouth aint going to hirt ennyone. the moar the fools talk about it the moar the fellers that are doing it are going to do it sum moar.

i bet old Hobbs and Ike and old Biley Tilton and J. Albert bougt 100 Exeter Newsleters apeace to send round to their friends if they have got enny.

October 25, 186---clowdy and cold. i dident get licked today in school whitch was a releef. last nite i woak up and got thinking about the Terible 3 and what wood hapen if we got cougt and i coodent go to sleep for moar than 2 hours. i gess the peace in the Newsleters wurrid me. i wundered if i had augt to have got up the Terible 3. i had sevveral narow escaips from the reform school so father had sed and this was wirse if i got cougt.

so i desided me and Pewt and Beany must be verry cairful and not leeve enny trase of our dedly wirk.

bimeby i got to sleap and dident get up this morning untill mother come up and shook me. i hardly had time to get in my wood and water and eet my breckfast and hiper to school. i got there jest in time whitch was probably one reason why i dident get licked. i tell you when a feller knows his teecher is watching for a chanct to snach him balheaded he has to wauk pretty strate.

this afternoon Pewt had to help his father paint a fense and Beany went down to Ed Toles and when Beany is down there i dont go becaus it is ap to lead to trubble between me and Beany on acount of Lizzie Tole Eds sister. so when father come home early on the 2 oh clock trane he had a lait dinner and we went down to see about getting my boat up for the winter. so we rew up river to the Eddy and then rew back. we had to row hard to keep warm. well when we got back to the worf father sed less pull the old boat out and we got hold and pulled her haff way out on the worf and then father sw.a.n.g her round to get the stirn out and gnocked me rite into the river with my close on.

gosh it was as cold as a ice and i swum to the worf and father the pulled me out and jawed me for being a fool to get in the way when he hadent told me what he was going to do. aint that jest like him. well he made me run all the way home and then took off my close and he rubed me with a ruf towel that neerly took my hide off. it was almost as tuf as when they rubed the black off of me with bristol brick and seesand when i thougt i was always going to be a niger.

then he give me a gla.s.s of hot lemonaid and maid me go to bed. the lemonaid was all rite but i haited to go to bed. we was going to have a meating of the Terible 3 and then we was going down on the square to hear a peddler sell stuff from a wagon and a big torchlite. but father woodent let me go. but he brougt me up a new novil. it was a ripper. the naim of it is Rattlesnaik Redhead the Red Handed. we will have to have the meating of the Terible 3 tomorrow after chirch.

October 26, 186---sunday again and raning hard.

it has raned hard all day. it always ranes sunday when a feller wants to do sumthing.

none of the folks went to chirch xcept Cele who is verry religus. she is throug with the palsams and is reading the provirbs. father asted me if i gnew what a provirb was and i sed yes it was a part of speach that modifide virbs ajectives and other advirbs. then he begun to laff and they all laffed. ennyway i bet evrybody but father and mother and Aunt Sarah and Cele dident know. he sed the provirbs was the wize sayings of old king Sollerman whitch was suposed to be the wizest man in the wirld.

father sed he coodent quite beleeve that for he sed enny man whitch had as many wifes as Sollerman coodent have had horse sence or been a repsective cittisen. ennyway he sed he was wizer than old man Purington Pewts grandfather who rew out to sea 10 miles in a storm one day and when he got to the shoals where the litehouse and the big hotels was he landed and clim up the rocks and when they asted him where he come from he sed he come from America.

last nite father went to hear the peddler on the square. father got a gold stem winder wach for 2 dollers. when he got home he tride to wind it up and he cood wind it for 15 minutes and it woodent be enny nearer wound up. so father looked into it and there wasent ennything in it but the winder. so father was mad and sed if the Terible 3 wood roten eg that pedler he gessed evrybody wood be glad of it

gosh i dident say nothing but you bet the Terible 3 will have a meating tomorrow erly and they is going to be sum fun tomorrow nite.

October 27, 186---this has been a grate day for te Terible 3. this time we have did sumthing that evrybody is glad of. xcept jest a few fellers and sum wimen whitch aint willing to maik enny sackrifise for the good of the town. bimeby peeple will see that the Terible 3 is able to do sum things that the poliseman cant do.

father sed tonite after he got home that it sirved old Swane the poliseman and old Mizzery Dirgin the poliseman that throwed me out of the hall that time that father was going to make a speech but dident da.s.s to jest rite. that it was the law that a pedler coodent pedle things without a license and old Swane and old Mizzery Dirgin knowed it and hadent augt to have aloud him to do it and if they had did their duty father woodnt have lost 2 dollers in bying a tin wach without enny wirks in it.

father sed he woodent have missed it for 10 dollers and he wood like to know who done it. i sed peraps it was the Terible 3 and he sed if it is peeple had augt to forgive them for what they had did to old Biley and old Bill and old Ike and old Ward and old J. Albert. i wanted to tell him but of coa.r.s.e my othe woodent alow me to tell. i bet father wood make a awful good member. if he was a member we wood have to call it the Terible 4 and then peraps Beany and Pwet wood have to have there fathers in it and we wood have to call it the Terible 6.

So i gess it is all rite to leeve it as it is, but if we ever get up another one father will have to join.

jest imagine ennyone ketching us and triing to lick us when father was round.

i havent stoped laffing yet over it. if enny of the peeple whitch got pluged ever find out who done it they will kill us dead. but they wont never find it out.

well this morning i got up and et my breckfast and done my ch.o.a.rs and went over to Beanys and got him and we went up to Pewts and had a meating of the Terible 3 and i told them what father sed and what the pedler done to hime and that the pedler was going to pedle there tonite and that it was our chanct to do good wirk and to maik a naim for ourselfs. so Pewt took us out to where his father had set a lot of hens and there was lots of hens and there was lots of egs that dident hach.

sum of them was so lite that you coodent plug them verry far and sum of them whitch were heavy had ded chickings in them. we broke 1 of eech kind to see whitch smelt the wirst and we coodent tell.

both smelt so bad that we had to go out of the coop and wait till it aird out. then we pluged 1 of eech kind agenst the fense. the lits one popped the loudest and the chicking one spatered the most. they was 36 left.

Well Beany sed his father was papering sum rooms in Masonick block in the 2th story for General Maston and that he was going to Ports.m.u.th tonite to a masonick meating. so Beany sed he wood get the kee of the office and we wood go up there and lock the door and open the windows easy and not have enny lite birning and we cood see evrybody in the square and n.o.body cood see us and he gessed mister pedler wood think sumbody had throwed a skunk at him.

well i have forgoten wether i got licked in school today or not. i dont think i did but i aint sure. i dident think of ennything but what we was to do to the pedler and old Francis grabed me and shook me up and give me 2 or 3 bats and stood me on the platform for a hour. so i dident get licked after all. i thougt i wood remember it if i was licked.

well after supper i studded until haff past seven and Cele done all of my xamples if i wood let her read Ratlesnaik Red Head the red Handed after she had read 2 provirbs. so i let her have it and after i had coppied the xamples i hipered over to Beanys. he and Pewt were ready. we devided the egs and filled our pockets with them and then we went down town.

when we got there the pedler was standing in his wagon in the square. and he had a big torchlite and he was hollering and holding up things to sell. they was a crowd of peeple round him men and wimmen and boys and girls. we went down to masonick block and went up stairs. we dident meat ennybody and the stairs were pich dark. we unlocked the door of the office and went in and opened the winders eesy. it was lucky we did becaus Beany run into a table in the dark and broak 2 egs in his pocket.

murder how they smelt. we had to stick our heads out of the window to breeth. Beany sed what am i to say to father and mother when they smell me and find i have got roten eg on my close and Pewt sed we fill say we were in the crowd and got hit and n.o.body will think we pluged ourselfs. i tell you Pewt is awful smart to think up things. that is why he gits so few lickings in school and me and Beany get so menny. so after we had got all the egs out of our pockets and in litle piles ready and cood breeth inside we all got ready. the old pedler had a bottle in his hand and sed now ladies and gentlemen i have here a bottel of my selibrated panyseer compounded by the most destinkwished chemists in Europe and of the purist and most xpensive drugs and warranted to cure headake, earake, backake, bellyake, hartake, rumatism, growing panes, varicose vanes, bunions, corns, ingrowing tonales, scroffuler, siattikeer, lung fevers, scarlet feever, meezles, hooping coff mumps and croop.

children cry for it, old maids sy for it, you must have it. waulk up, run up, gump up, tumble up ennyway to get up only fetch your money up and all for 1 doller.