Manners and Rules of Good Society Part 23

At a standing-up luncheon the gentlemen should help the ladies and themselves to the various dishes on the table, as dishes are not handed at this description of luncheon; hot entrees and soup are not given. The menu is in other respects similar.

The tables should be decorated with flowers at either a standing-up or a sitting-down luncheon. Bottles of champagne should be placed the length of the table at a standing-up luncheon; if not, the gentlemen should ask the servants in attendance for champagne for the ladies they have taken down, and for themselves. At a sitting-down luncheon the servants offer champagne to the guests in the same order in which they hand the dishes.

When the sweets have been handed the bride should cut the wedding-cake.

This she does by merely making the first incision with a knife; it should then be cut by the butler into small slices, and handed on dessert plates to the guests.

=The Health of the Bride and Bridegroom= should then be proposed by the most distinguished guest present, for which the bridegroom should return thanks. He should then propose the health of the bridesmaids, for which the best man should return thanks.

Occasionally the gentleman of highest rank present also proposes this health in place of the bridegroom.

The health of the bride's father and mother should be proposed by the bridegroom's father.

It is now the custom to confine proposing healths at wedding luncheons within the narrowest limits. The health of the bride and bridegroom, and that of the bridesmaids being, in general, the only healths proposed.

At standing-up luncheons and at wedding receptions, the health of the bride and bridegroom only is proposed.

=The Bride should leave the Dining-room= immediately after the healths have been drunk, to change her dress for departure.

The head bridesmaid should accompany her, if related to her, and the guests should adjourn to the drawing-room to await the bride's reappearance, which should not be long delayed, and the adieus should then be made. Leave-takings should not be prolonged more than is absolutely necessary.

The parents should follow the bride and bridegroom into the hall, and adieus to them should there be made.

=The Old-fas.h.i.+oned Custom= of throwing satin slippers after the bride is sometimes observed, foolish as it is. It is the best man's or the head bridesmaid's privilege to perform this ridiculous act.

When rice is thrown after a bride it should be scattered by the married and not by the unmarried ladies present; but the custom, like that of throwing the so-called "confetti," is now practically obsolete in good society.

=Strewing the Bride's Path with Flowers= from the church to the carriage by village children is a custom much followed at weddings which take place in the country.

=The Honeymoon= now seldom lasts longer than a week or ten days. Many brides prefer spending their honeymoon in their future home, if it happens to be in the country, instead of making a hurried trip to Paris or elsewhere, or to spending it at the country house of a friend, lent to them for the purpose. But it is entirely a matter of individual feeling which course is taken.

=The Bride's Trousseau= should be marked with the initials of the name she is to take.

=The Bridegroom should provide= the house-linen and all other things appertaining to the bride's new home.

=The Wedding Presents= should be dispatched to the bride's residence immediately after the wedding, and they should at once be put into their several places, and not arranged for the purpose of being shown to visitors.

=The Bridal Wreath= should not be worn after the wedding-day. The bridal wreath, the bridal bouquet, and the orange blossoms from the wedding-cake, if treasured as mementos of the happy event, should be preserved in the recesses of a locked drawer in the bride's chamber, and not exhibited under gla.s.s shades in the drawing-room.

=Precedence= should not be accorded to a bride during the first three months after marriage, although this old-fas.h.i.+oned custom is sometimes followed at country dinner-parties on the occasion of a bride's first visit.

=The Custom of sending Wedding Cake= to friends is an exploded one, and only followed between near relations.

=Wedding Cards= are, strictly speaking, out of date, and only sent by people who adhere to old-fas.h.i.+oned customs.

=The Words "No Cards"= should not be inserted when the announcement of a marriage is sent to the newspapers; neither should the intimation be added that the bride and bridegroom will be "at home" on certain days.

CHAPTER XVII

WEDDING RECEPTIONS

=An Afternoon Wedding= usually takes place between 2 and 2.30 o'clock, and the "reception" that follows is given from 2.30 to 5, on the return from the church.

When a wedding is a choral one the choir and clergy frequently head the bridal procession. This is arranged with the vicar of the church where the marriage is solemnised.

=Invitations= to wedding receptions are no longer issued on "at home"

cards, but are included in the invitations to the wedding ceremony issued in printed notes. (See Chapter XVI.)

The arrangements in the tea-room, and the refreshments given, should be similar to those provided at large afternoon "at homes," with the addition of wedding-cake and champagne.

=Ceremony= is, as far as possible, dispensed with as regards sending the guests into the tea-room, and this is a great advantage gained over a wedding luncheon, either a sitting-down or a standing-up one, when people are doubtful as to the exact place belonging to each individual relative.

The bride and bridegroom either enter first, followed by the bridesmaids and a few of the princ.i.p.al guests, or they follow later, as they prefer.

The remainder of the company should make their way downstairs as s.p.a.ce permits, for a wedding reception is a crowded affair, even in the largest of mansions. Not only is every one invited who has given a wedding present to either bride or bridegroom, within visiting distance, but even others who are not intimate enough to be expected to do so.

The guests should not make their way in the first instance to the tea-room, but should proceed at once to the drawing-room and shake hands with the host and hostess, and afterwards with the bride and bridegroom.

The bride and bridegroom should stand together within the drawing-room and shake hands with all those with whom they are acquainted. The bride and bridegroom should be the first to enter the tea-room. Flowers, as a matter of course, are a great feature at wedding receptions.

The tea and coffee should be served by the maid-servants, generally by the lady's maids, but men-servants should also be in attendance to open the champagne as required. Very little wine is drunk at this hour of the day. Ladies seldom care for it, and gentlemen avoid it on principle.

Still, out of compliment to the bride, the relatives quaff a cup of sparkling wine, although her health is seldom proposed or speeches of any kind made. The bride should put the knife into the wedding-cake, and the butler should cut it up and hand it to the guests.

Seats should not be placed in the tea-room, and the tables should occupy the top or side, or both the top and side, of the room, according to the number of guests invited, so as to leave as much s.p.a.ce as possible in the centre of the room.

The bride and bridegroom are not always present at a wedding tea, as the departure for the proposed place of honeymoon does not in every case admit of it, and the mother holds the "at home," and the guests inspect the presents after the newly-married couple have left.

An "at home" is sometimes given a few days previous to the wedding for the inspection of the presents, if they are very numerous and beautiful; but even when this is done they still form a centre of interest on the afternoon of the wedding to the many guests. When jewellery and plate to any great extent form a portion of the presents, it is sometimes thought necessary to have a policeman on duty while the house is open to so many comers, and when to effect an entrance under the pretext of business would be an easy matter.