Book of Etiquette Volume I Part 4

The wedding invitation demands two envelopes. The first, matching in texture and quality the paper of the invitation, is used as a protection for the card. It remains unsealed. The second envelope is a trifle larger, though it must also be of a similar texture. Into this envelope the card and the inner envelope are slipped for mailing.

The large envelope is sealed and stamped. It bears the complete name and address of the person for whom it is intended, while the inner envelope bears only the name. The church cards are enclosed with the wedding invitation if there is necessity for them. And if there is to be a wedding reception to which this particular guest is invited, a special card is also enclosed. The "at home" cards of the bridal couple are sent separately after the wedding.

ADDRESSING THE ENVELOPES

The wedding invitation is addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Blank. The expression "and family" following the name of a husband and wife is not used in polite society. If there are unmarried daughters to be invited, a separate invitation is addressed to "The Misses Blank." Sons may be invited either by sending a separate invitation to each one, or addressing one invitation to "The Messrs. Blank." All these invitations, in their proper envelopes, addressed appropriately, are placed in the large envelope for mailing. This single envelope is addressed in full to the matron of the family, "Mrs. Henry Mason Blank."

INVITATION TO CHURCH WEDDING

The invitation to a church wedding is worded with a bit more formality than the invitation to the home ceremony. It is sent out two or three weeks before the day set for the wedding. The church wedding invitation requires no written acknowledgment, except in those rare cases when there is a request for it. Instead of the initials, R.S.V.P., it is better form to say simply, "Please reply." Invitations for the home wedding, of course, require prompt acknowledgment.

Following are two forms of church wedding invitations which may be used:

_Mr. and Mrs. John Grey Taylor request the honor of .............................

presence at the marriage of their daughter Helen Marie with Mr. Raymond Mitch.e.l.l on Thursday, the ninth of May at four o'clock St. Thomas's Church New York_

_Mr. and Mrs. John Grey Taylor request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Helen Marie and Mr. Raymond Mitch.e.l.l on Friday, the fourth of June at six o'clock at the Presbyterian Church Boston_

In the first invitation, the name of the guest is written by hand in the s.p.a.ce left for that purpose. The use of "marriage and" and "marriage with" is now customary in preference to "marriage to." All three words are in good form, however, and any one of them may be used.

Below is a model engraved admission card, used when the church wedding is to be a large one and tickets of admission are necessary. The correct size is denoted:

_PLEASE PRESENT THIS CARD at St. Michael's Church on Monday, the fifth of May_

INVITATIONS TO HOME WEDDING

For the home wedding, invitations are engraved as for the church wedding, but for the phrase "request the honor of your presence" the phrase "request the pleasure of your company" is subst.i.tuted, though "honor" may be used in place of "pleasure" if one prefers.

As in the case of the church wedding, a s.p.a.ce may be left for the name of the guest to be filled in, or the form that follows may be used:

_Mr. and Mrs. Robert Guy Brown request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter Helen Rose and Mr. Henry Van Buren on Tuesday afternoon, June the first at four o'clock Twenty-two West End Avenue_

When the wedding takes place in the country, or a guest at a great distance is invited, a small card like the one following is generally included:

_Train leaves Grand Central Station for Glenville at 11:42 A.M._

_Returning train leaves Glenville for New York at 6:10 P.M._

Wealthy people often place a special train at the disposal of special city friends whose presence is eagerly desired at the wedding. A card, like the one following, is enclosed with the invitation, and it serves as a pa.s.s, ent.i.tling the bearer to a seat in the reserved train. Here is the form most generally used:

_The special train leaves Grand Central Station for Glenville at 11:42 A.M.

Leaves Glenville for Grand Central Station at 6:10 P.M.

Please present this card at station door_

WEDDING IN A FRIEND'S HOME

Sometimes, either because of convenience or personal preference, arrangements are made to have a wedding take place at the home of a friend or relative. The following wording is suggested as the correct form for the invitation:

_The pleasure of your company is requested at the marriage of Miss Marian Benson Joyce to Mr. John H. Brown on Monday, the fifth of June at twelve o'clock at the residence of Mr. and Mrs. Herbert Smith Hopkins Eighteen Johns Street_

WHEN CARDS ARE ENCLOSED

When a church wedding is followed by a reception or breakfast, special engraved cards are enclosed with the invitations to those guests whose presence is desired. It may be a very small card, inscribed merely with these words:

_Reception from four o'clock Forty-six Lafayette Street_

For the wedding breakfast a card of this kind is usually enclosed:

_Mr. and Mrs. John Hay request the pleasure of .....................

company, at breakfast on Thursday, the fifth of May at twelve o'clock_

INVITATIONS TO SECOND MARRIAGES

The second wedding invitation of a widow should be issued in the name of her parents or nearest living relatives. She uses her own first name with the surname of the deceased husband. Here is the correct form:

_Mr. and Mrs. Robbert Manning request the honor of your presence at their marriage of their daughter Mrs. May Ellis Bruce to Mr. Stanley Kenworth on Monday, September the fifth at six o'clock St. Paul Chapel_

It may be that the woman who is to be married for the second time has no near relatives to serve as hosts for her. Her invitations may be like this:

_The honor of your presence is requested at the marriage of Mrs. Helen Roy Chadwick and Mr. Bruce Kenneth on Wednesday, August the tenth at four o'clock Church of the Redeemer_

Announcement cards are sent after a wedding if there were no invitations issued. They are often sent instead of invitations to friends who live at too great a distance to be present at the ceremony.

They require no acknowledgment though it is customary to send either a note expressing good wishes or a gift of some kind. If one lives in the same community one should call on the bride's mother, and if the bride's card in inclosed, on the bride herself shortly after she returns from the honeymoon. This is the usual form for the announcement card:

_Mr. and Mrs. Roger Smith announce the marriage of their daughter Rose Madeline to Mr. Frank Breckenridge on Thursday, April the first one thousand nine hundred and twenty-one_

In case of a second marriage of the bride, the announcement card reads in this manner:

_Mr. Robert G. Gainsworth and Mrs. Herbert g.a.y.l.o.r.d Smith announce their marriage on Thursday, August the Eleventh one thousand nine hundred and twenty-one_

The bride uses the announcement above only when she is a widow. A divorcee uses her own first and second names, with the surname of the divorced husband.

The announcement card is engraved on sheets of white paper similar in size and texture to those used for the invitation. It is posted on the day of the wedding. The forms given above may be modified by adding the name of the Church in which the ceremony was held, or the home address of the bride if it was a home wedding.

With the wedding invitation or the announcement card the "at home" card of the bride may be included, giving the date of her return from the honeymoon and her future address. Thus:

_Mr. and Mrs. K. N. Littleton At Home in Forest Hills After the eighteenth of August_

INVITATION TO WEDDING ANNIVERSARY

Unlike the wedding invitation, that of the anniversary may display some delicate, unostentatious design significant of the occasion. It is engraved on sheets or cards which may display the entwined initials of husband and wife, and the year of the marriage and wedding anniversary.

For a silver wedding, the engraving may be done in silver, and gold lettering is permissible for the fifty-year anniversary. The two most approved forms for the anniversary invitations are given below: